


I want this with you

by himmelsky



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Everyone is Versatile, Introspection, Joevak, M/M, Polyamory, Relationship Discussions, Smut, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2018-12-23 12:31:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 52,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11989839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/himmelsky/pseuds/himmelsky
Summary: The music is thumbing loud and the living room is packed with people talking, laughing, drinking, dancing. They are standing against one of the walls. Isak feels the heat from his body as the other boy leans in closer, his hand barely pressing against the small of Isak’s back. Isak looks over at him, his chin low, with a small smile tugging at his lips. It isn’t the first time they are standing like this, at some random party, sharing each other’s body heat, both clutching a can of beer and looking at each other. But it’s the first time he is going to do something about it. He turns around, his eyebrows raised, and looks at his boyfriend, who gives him a consensual nod and a smile. Isak turns back to the boy, leans in and nuzzles the boy’s cheek with his nose, just next to his ear, and whispers a heated “Do you want to come back to our place?”.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been reading Evak fics for far too long. There are so many good writers in this fandom and I never thought I would add my own work, but then this popped into my head and I had to write it. It took me forever though. I've totally neglected a muli-chaptered fic I'm wiriting in another fandom, but I had to get this out before I could return to that, so...
> 
> Please mind the tags. This might not be for everybody...
> 
> Please, also note that English is not my first language, but my third (which I'm better at than my second, lol!)

The music is thumbing loud and the living room is packed with people talking, laughing, drinking, dancing. They are standing against one of the walls. Isak feels the heat from his body as the other boy leans in closer, his hand barely pressing against the small of Isak’s back. Isak looks over at him, his chin low, with a small smile tugging at his lips. It isn’t the first time they are standing like this, at some random party, sharing each other’s body heat, both clutching a can of beer and looking at each other. But it’s the first time he is going to do something about it. He turns around, his eyebrows raised, and looks at his boyfriend, who gives him a consensual nod and a smile. Isak turns back to the boy, leans in and nuzzles the boy’s cheek with his nose, just next to his ear, and whispers a heated “Do you want to come back to our place?”.

Jonas pulls back, a surprised look on his face. His eyes darts between Isak and his boyfriend. Isak grabs his upper arm and pulls him back in. “Don’t worry, man. Even is on board with this. We both want you to come.”

Isak watches Jonas think about it for a couple of seconds, before he nods slowly. Isak smiles at him, sets his beer can down at a nearby table and starts to push Jonas forward, towards the hallway and the front door. He stretches out his hand as he moves forward to grab his boyfriend by the hand and pulls him along with him. He knows Even will follow without any questions. Isak knows that Even knows. That Even knows that Isak wants this. Even knows that this is a thing that has evolved between the two boys during the last past months. Jonas has expressed a desire. Not verbally exactly, but he has shown enough interest, has touched Isak, has leaned into Isak’s body space too many times. Isak picked up on it. And Even did too. It isn’t a secret. Isak brought it up one night when they came back from the party. It wasn’t the first time it had happened, but it was the first time Isak knew for sure that it wasn’t a coincidence. And then it kept happening, and Isak and Even have both agreed that if Jonas wants to, they should do it. Because Isak wants to too.

And Jonas has agreed to, so going back to their apartment seems far more interesting than staying at this party hosted by some random dude who goes in Isak’s medicine class.

It’s a ten-minute tram ride back to their apartment. The tram is almost packed, but they manage to find two seats in the back. Jonas and Isak sits down and Even stands in the aisle, his hand resting at the nape of Isak’s neck. Jonas is by the window. They don’t talk much, but it isn’t awkward. The mood is calm, maybe filled with a little bit of anticipation.

When they get to their apartment, Even is the one who locks them in. He opens the door and once he is inside, he turns around and looks at the two other boys, both still standing in the hallway. Isak looks over at Jonas and clears his throat, causing Jonas to look back at him. Isak gives him a questioning look and tilts his head towards the door. Jonas smiles and nods and steps inside. Isak smiles too, before he exchanges a glance with Even, who nods and proceeds further into the apartment after kicking of his shoes and throwing his jacket on top of a pile of existing jackets on the hallway floor. Jonas and Isak follows his example.

“Does anyone want something to drink?” Even asks. He has found his way into the kitchen and is reaching for a bottle of water in the fridge. Both boys decline.

“How much have you been drinking?” Isak asks Jonas, casting a glance in Even’s direction. Jonas shrugs. “Just a couple of beers.” He looks at Isak, then at Even, then back at Isak. “Don’t worry, I’m not drunk or anything.”

Isak looks at him, before he turns to Even, who just nods at him. “Ok”, Isak says as he turns back to Jonas. “We’ve had about the same amount then. Even hasn’t been drinking tonight.” Jonas nods. Isak can see that his friend is thinking about something and he waits. There’s no need to rush this. This is new and he wants Jonas to be comfortable. If he has something on his mind he should say it now, before they do anything, before they go through with this.

“So”, Jonas drags the word out. “How does this work exactly?” he asks. “I mean, you two are together. Where does that leave me in all this?”

Isak smiles, relieved that Jonas feels enough at ease to ask. He really doesn’t want Jonas to be confused after. He doesn’t need to check with Even to give Jonas an answer. “Yes, Even and I are together, and we will continue to be together. We want to do this with you, no strings attached. We will all still be friends after. Does that sound ok with you?”

Jonas stares at Isak and takes in the words, before he asks Even “And you agree with this?”.

Even clears his throat. “Yes.”

Jonas only thinks about if for a moment before he talks again. “Ok, that works for me”.

“Good”, Isak says. “Should we take this into the bedroom then?” He gestures towards the kitchen door. The other two guys nod and the three of them make their way out of the kitchen and towards the bedroom. Isak enters first and moves towards one of the bedside tables and switches on a small lamp. It casts a pleasant amount of light across the bed room. He wonders if it’s to intimate like this, but Jonas looks at ease as he enters the bedroom and looks around, so Isak reckons it’s fine.

Isak sits down on the bed and gestures at Jonas to come and sit beside him. Jonas obliges and sits down close to Isak, but not so close that their bodies are touching. Even moves to the wall across from them and leans his head and upper back against it, his arms behind his lower back. He doesn’t remove his eyes from them the entire time. Jonas looks between them, a little bit puzzled. “You’re not joining in?” he asks, frowning a little bit now.

“I know that this first and foremost is a thing between you and Isak”, Even says. “It’s up to you, I guess. I’m fine either way. But I’m not leaving the room.” Isak nods.

“No, of course not. I didn’t expect you to”, Jonas says. “But, I’m, uh…” It’s the first time tonight that he seems unsure. Isak reaches out and rests his hand on Jonas’s upper arm. “What’s on your mind? Just tell us what you are thinking. It’s up to you, but we don’t know what you want if you don’t tell us. We don’t want you to feel pressured though. If you want to stop, we can. No judgement.” “Yeah”, Even agrees.

Jonas seems to relax at Isak’s words. “I guess I always pictured that it would be with both of you”, he says eventually, a small unsure smile tugging at his lips.

Isak chuckles. “Yeah? And I was feeling so special up until now. Thanks!” he jokes. Jonas just snorts at this and shrugs, one of his eyebrows cocked in a playful expression.

“But”, Isak continues a bit more serious now. “What else have you been picturing?” He is curious about what Jonas has been thinking about them, what he wants. And if Jonas’s behaviour over the last couple of months is anything to go by, he has been thinking about _something_.

“You want me to tell you?” Jonas asks, laughing a little bit. He doesn’t seem amused though, more like a little nervous.

“Yes”, Even says. “If you don’t, we don’t know what you might be into, and we don’t want to do anything you’re not into. I mean, we weren’t even sure if you only wanted Isak or the both of us.”

Jonas ponders this for a minute, like he isn’t sure how he should express himself. But Jonas must know that he can tell what has been playing around in his mind, that neither of them will judge him for it.

“I just want to be with you. I want to know what it feels like to be with a guy, to suck a dick, to get fucked”, he says in one breath, a little embarrassed, his eyes not able to settle on neither Isak nor Even. Somehow, he manages to continue though. “I want both of you in on it, and who exactly does what with who isn’t that important, except…” his voice trails off, before he takes a breath. “But I want you to be the one who fucks me, Is.” His face is slightly flushed as he finishes talking, still unable to meet Isak’s eyes more than a fraction of a second at a time.

Isak grabs Jonas’s chin softly and turns his head to make him look at him. “Okay, Jonas. We can do that. _I_ can do that.”

“Yeah, you’re ok with that?” Jonas asks, looking between them and sounding relieved.

“Of course,” Isak responds, looking at Even who smiles and nods at Jonas. “We wouldn’t have brought you back here if it wasn’t ok.”

And like that the mood in the bedroom shifts. Now that they have established what they want from their arrangement and they agree on it, the air between them fills with curiosity and lust. Even pushes his back off the wall and walks towards them. He sits down on the bed next to Isak.

Isak is still sitting turned towards Jonas, with his hand on Jonas’s chin. He moves it and cups Jonas’s neck instead and pulls his face towards his own. “Can I kiss you?” he asks as he tilts his chin in Jonas’s direction, his eyes on Jonas’s lips.

Jonas just hums and closes the distance between them and presses his lips against Isak’s. The kiss is short and sweet. It’s Isak who breaks it, but only to make sure that Jonas is okay with what they are doing. He doesn’t need to though, because Jonas leans in and kisses him again, and Isak smiles as their lips press together once more. He isn’t surprised by the initiative his friend is showing. Jonas always knows what he wants.

They share another couple of short kisses, until Jonas sneaks his hand around Isak’s lower back and pulls him closer so that their thighs are pressed against each other. He tilts his head to get a better angle and soon enough their lips start to move against each other. It’s wet and hot, and Isak revels in the small sound of pleasure that escapes from the back of Jonas’s throat. They stay like that for a couple of minutes, exploring each other’s lips. Isak’s hand is resting against Jonas’s neck the entire time, his thumb rubbing small circles just below his hear. He uses his other hand to steady himself on the bed. Jonas hand doesn’t leave the small of Isak’s back, and he keeps adding pressure there to make sure that Isak stays close. After a while his other hand finds his way up to Isak’s hair to run through it.

Before they can take it any further, Even runs his index finger along Isak’s jawline and hooks Isak’s chin with it, causing Isak to break the kiss and turn towards his boyfriend. Jonas watches them share a passionate kiss, watches how Even licks at Isak’s bottom lips and how Isak opens his mouth to greet Even’s tongue with his own.

And it seems to turn Jonas on immensely, as he lets out a small whimper and tugs at Isak’s arm to get him to turn back to him. Isak breaks the kiss with Even and leans back into Jonas’s space and kisses him, open-mouthed and wet. Another small moan escapes Jonas’s lips, and his lips become more demanding, altering between staying closed and pressing hard against Isak's and parting to lick at Isak's lips or to press his tongue into Isak's mouth.

Isak can’t help but let out a moan in response to his friend's eagerness, finally being able to experience first-hand what it is like to kiss Jonas, to taste him. He wants it, has wanted it for some time now. To know what it would be like to be in Jonas’s proximity, to taste him, to touch him.

The sexual tension between them has been developing slowly over the past months. Isak hasn't thought about Jonas like that since he was crushing on him at 16. And since then he has met Even. And things with Even are good, like really good. He couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend. He can’t see himself as not being with Even.

But ever since that one day, when the boy squad had been crammed together on the couch in Jonas’s new apartment, and Jonas had ended up with his body pressed against Isak’s while they were playing Fifa, without making an effort to make space between them, Isak had slowly, but steadily become aware of that undefined _something_ between them. Something deeper than friendship, but also an attraction, a curiosity that had to be explored.

And when Jonas had looked him in the eyes there on the couch, Isak had seen that his friend too was noticing the closeness between them. They had never addressed it though, had never talked about it. But they more and more often found themselves with their bodies close, finding a shared space between them. And one night, at some party a couple of weeks later, Isak noticed Jonas's eyes lingering on his lips after he had taken a swig from a bottle of beer and he started to think that maybe, maybe Jonas wanted to kiss him. And he was surprised to find that the thought didn't make him uncomfortable. On the contrary, the thought left him with a tingling sensation in his body, and he closed his eyes and imagined what it would be like to have his mouth on Jonas's. And when he opened his eyes again, he found his friend looking at him with a small smile on his lips, and then it was Isak's turn to stare at Jonas's lips as he took a swig from his beer bottle, and Isak couldn't take his eyes of the drop of beer that rested in the corner of Jonas's mouth after he had pulled the bottle away. Jonas's tongue had found its way between his lips to lick it away. And it all happened while Jonas was watching Isak looking at him. Isak's gaze had travelled up to meet Jonas's and they had stared at each other for a couple of seconds, before they simultaneously had looked away and lifted their beer bottles and gulped away at them.

And now, so many not so innocent moments, stares and exchanges of body heath later, Jonas is in his bedroom, in his and Even's bedroom, kissing him intently, ready to find out what it is like to be with Isak. Isak’s body shivers at the thought of it, at the sensation of Jonas’s body so close to his own.

Isak and Jonas are still kissing when Jonas reaches out and grabs Even’s hand which is resting on Isak’s thigh. He pulls at it, and when Isak notices that Even is leaning into him, he breaks the kiss and leans back to watch his boyfriend kiss his best friend right in front of his face. At first, he is afraid that it might feel weird, or even wrong, but it doesn’t. The sight goes straight to his dick and he feels himself hardening in his jeans. He watches the two boys make out in front of him, and when he is starting to feel neglected, he pulls them apart and leans in to kiss Even. He kisses him passionately a couple of times, before he fists a hand in the hair at the back of Evens head to make him stop. He looks Even in the eyes to check if he is still okay with what they are doing, but all he sees is something like a mixture of fondness and desire, so Isak kisses him one more time before turning to Jonas, who has been watching them from his spot on the bed. Jonas meets him eagerly in another kiss. Isak loves to kiss Even, and now he is finding that he really enjoys kissing Jonas too. It makes his head dizzy and his body hot all over. It is almost too much, but at the same time it isn't enough. He slips one of his hands underneath Jonas shirt and feels skin against his fingertips. He gently lets his fingers travel up and down Jonas's side, and Jonas hums in response.

As Isak slips his other hand underneath Jonas’s shirt as well and explores Jonas's upper body with both his hands, the kisses they share become softer and slower, until they stop completely. Jonas's hands are resting on Isak's shoulders now, their foreheads are pressed together and their hot breaths are mixing in the small space between their mouths. Jonas is breathing hard and his eyes are closed as he gets lost in the sensation of Isak's hands on his body. It turns Isak on to see his friend so effected by it, and he shifts against the bed, his hips wiggling a bit as he unsuccessfully tries to gain just a little bit more space in his jeans.

He slowly pushes Jonas's shirt up and stops below Jonas's armpits and waits until Jonas opens his eyes to give him the okay to remove the shirt all together. Isak pulls it off him, flings it in the direction of the floor and takes it in, takes in Jonas's naked upper body, takes in the fact that yes, yes, yes they are doing this. He strokes the palms of his hands against Jonas's chest, before he presses his face against Jonas's neck and breaths him in. At the same time as feels the bodies of the two boys travel towards each other to share yet another kiss. Isak gives in to the urge to leave a wet trail with his tongue from the dip just above Jonas’s collarbone and up to the area behind Jonas’s ear. He feels Jonas shiver under him.

When Jonas pulls back from Even to tug at Isak's shirt to remove it, Isak doesn't hesitate, eager to move forward. With Even’s help, he gets rid of the piece of clothing and watches Jonas take in the nakedness of his upper body. Jonas lifts his hand and runs it across Isak’s abs, causing Isak’s skin to break out in goose bumps. Isak expects Jonas to continue to touch him, but Jonas pulls back and gestures towards Even that he should take his shirt of as well. Even smiles and grants Jonas his wish.

Jonas eyes darts between them, like he doesn’t know which one of them he should be looking at or which body he wants to touch. Recognizing his dilemma, Even gets up and takes Jonas’s hand and pulls him up to so that they are standing on their feet. He gestures at Isak to do the same, so that the two of them are standing in front of Jonas. Jonas looks confused until Even places one of Jonas’s hands on his own chest and the other on Isak’s. Jonas instantly starts to move his hands across the boys’ chests and stomachs. Isak’s upper body is ripped, with defined abs and chest muscles, while Even’s body is not so much sharp and defined lines, slightly softer, but still slim. Jonas looks stunned by the feeling of his hands roaming across the different bodies, seemingly unable to make up his mind about which one he prefers, as his eyes darts between them and his hands doesn’t stop moving. He steps closer as his hands continues to touch and caress. At one point he steps closer to Isak and wraps his arm around his waist and kisses him, kisses him, kisses him. It’s all tongue and teeth, but Isak doesn’t mind, just tries to match the pace his friend is setting. Jonas pulls away abruptly though and pulls Even closer to kiss him with the same intent.

With Even and Jonas kissing, Isak moves up against Jonas’s back. He settles his hands on Jonas’s hips and starts to leave small kisses and licks on his neck, before he in a low and somewhat raspy voice asks Jonas if it is okay to removes his jeans. Jonas nods against Even’s lips, and Isak reaches around Jonas to open his belt and the buttons of his jeans, before he pulls them all the way down to the floor and helps Jonas to step out of them. He then proceeds to remove his own jeans, relieved to finally be released from their confinement. He watches Jonas and Even for a bit. Even’s hands have found their way to Jonas’s ribcage and are clutching at it greedily, while Jonas doesn’t seem to be able to settle his hands. They are wandering from Even’s shoulders, down his sides to his hips and then up again. Isak can’t stand to be a spectator and moves in and presses his bare stomach and chest against Jonas’s naked back. Jonas gasps at the sensation and tilts his head to the side as Isak gets back to kissing and licking at his neck. It feels so good to have Jonas’s skin on his own, and Isak can’t help himself when he presses his hard dick against Jonas’s ass.

Jonas groans and immediately turns around, leaving a flustered and surprised Even behind. Isak can’t stop to wonder how Even is doing though, because he is too preoccupied with how Jonas is looking at him, surprised, with a visible bulge in his boxers. Isak almost feels guilty, thinks that maybe he pushed forward to fast, but the feeling evaporates as Jonas groans and moves closer, presses their chests together and cups Isak’s dick with his hand. Isak can hear Jonas breathing heavily against his ear. Isak doesn’t stand a chance. He pushes his dick closer, into Jonas’s hand, and he tilts his head back and lets out a moan when Jonas so, so carefully rubs his hand against Isak’s length. _Fuck._

It all happens more speedily from there. Jonas and Isak are at the same time tugging at the waistband of each other’s boxers, hastily grinning at each other to give the okay. And then they are naked. Jonas wraps his arms around Isak’s waist and brings their bodies closer, while Isak grabs onto Jonas’s ass. He feels the muscles there clench, but only for a second, before Jonas relaxes again, and then their groins are grinding against each other, skin against skin, dick against dick. Isak looks over at Even, who has taken a small step back to watch the scene in front of him. When he sees the expression in Isak’s face, how much Isak is enjoying this, his dick twitches and he immediately starts to remove his own pants to relieve some of the pressure that has been building up in between his legs. Isak watches his boyfriend undress, all while Jonas is grinding against him. It’s almost too much.

Isak barely registers the question Jonas asks him. “Is, can I blow you?”

And Isak thinks that the question couldn’t have been asked at a better time. He nods impatiently and pushes Jonas towards the bed. Jonas catches on and sits down at the edge of it, and Isak moves in between his legs. He leaves his arms hanging next to his body and lets Jonas take charge, remembering how nervous he was the first time he was about to blow Even, and he reckons the experience might get spoiled for Jonas if Isak pushes too fast forward.

But if Jonas is nervous, he hides it well. With his hands resting on Isak’s thighs, he takes in the sight of Isak’s dick before him, before he wets his lips with his tongue. He looks up at Isak, who is standing there, in front of his best friend, waiting for Jonas to make a move. Isak doesn’t want to be pushy. He wants Jonas to do this at his own pace, but at the same time he.can’t.wait.to.feel.Jonas’s.lips.on.him. So, he makes a small nod to let Jonas know it is okay to proceed.

Jonas grabs the base of Isak’s dick and starts out with a tentative lick at the head. Isak must strain himself not to buck his hips at the touch and let Jonas continue at his own pace. He watches Jonas lick a couple of times more, before he wraps his head around the head and sucks at it gently. Isak keens at the sensation, making Jonas pull back and look up at him in wonder, almost as if he doesn’t believe that he’s the reason Isak is reacting this way.

“Please, Jonas…” Isak begs, his hips bucking slightly, and Jonas dives back in, encouraged by Isak’s words and movements. He boldly uses his flattened tongue to press against the base of Isak’s dick and licks a broad stripe up the length. When he reaches the tip, he swirls his tongue around, before he engulfs Isak’s manhood as far as he seems safe to go. Isak can’t hold back and a moan escapes his lips. He watches Jonas use his mouth to soak Isak’s dick in saliva, before he starts to bob up and down along the shaft, taking in a little more of Isak’s length every time he moves down, and when he seems to have found the point where he can’t go any further without gagging on Isak’s dick, he begins to go faster.

Isak can’t take his eyes off Jonas. He can’t believe that he is standing between his best friend’s legs getting blown. At the same time, it feels so right, to finally to doing this. If someone has told him at 16 that he would be experiencing this, would be able to share this with Jonas, he wouldn’t be able to trust it, to hope for it. But now he gets to have it, and he gets to share it with his boyfriend. A naked Even, who has come up to them and who’s front is pressing against Isak’s back, his hands grabbing at Isak’s hips and his mouth sucking at Isak’s neck.

Isak feels his back arch slightly, the sensation of Jonas’s mouth on his dick and Even’s lips on his neck is about to overwhelm him, and he has to steady himself by leaning into Even’s body and rest his head against Even’s shoulder. His eyes are closed, his lips are parted and he is breathing hard through his mouth.

Jonas notices that Even is looking down at him sucking his boyfriend’s dick. Jonas can see that Even is affected by what he is seeing, and Jonas makes sure to slow down the pace, so that Even really can watch him blow. Even’s eyes widen when he realises that Jonas is slowing down to let Even see, and he moans and grinds his dick against Isak’s ass, before he shifts his body, and in one swift motion he is kneeling next to Jonas, gently pushing at Isak’s thigh to get him to step to the side. He runs his hand up Jonas’s thigh, silently asking for permission to touch him. Jonas nods, his mouth still working on Isak. Even wraps his fingers around Jonas and tugs a couple of times, causing Jonas to throw his head back, and thereby let go of Isak’s dick, and let out a drawn out soft moan. Even takes the opportunity. He gets up and sits next to Jonas and leans in to get his lips on Jonas’s mouth, red and wet from blowing his boyfriend. Even can taste Isak on Jonas’s lips and he rubs Jonas’s dick a bit more forcefully at the taste. Jonas moans heavier into his mouth in response.

“I want to taste you, can I?” Even asks against Jonas’s lips. Jonas’s response is fast. “Yes, please.”

Even kisses Jonas some more, before he moves back down, in between Jonas’s legs and takes his thick dick into his mouth and throat until his nose is brushing against the base. Jonas lets out a surprised gulp. He has had girls blown him, sure, but none of them have deep throated him before. The question of whether Isak is just as skilful crosses his mind, but when Even starts bobbing his head and simultaneously hollowing his cheeks, all rational thoughts seem to disappear and for the next couple of moments it’s only the warmth, the wetness, the tightness around Jonas’s dick that occupies his mind. He almost falls back onto the bed, but then Isak’s hand is at the back of his neck. Isak is looking at him with a smile on his lips. “Good?” he mouths at Jonas, his eyes darting between Jonas’s groin and Jonas’s eyes. Jonas can only nod back, and Isak’s smile turns into a smirk. “Good”, Isak whispers, before his hands starts playing with the soft curls of the hair falling down Jonas’s neck. With his free hand, he’s stroking himself slowly, only inches from Jonas’s face. Jonas can’t resist and leans forward and puts his mouth back on Isak’s dick. The feeling of Even’s mouth on his own dick makes it hard for him to concentrate though, and the blow job he gives Isak might be a little on the sloppy side, but Isak doesn’t seem to care.

It doesn’t take long before Jonas must be getting close, because he pulls back from Isak and pushes at Even to make him stop too. “That’s so good”, he pants “but I don’t want to come yet, you have to stop.” Even nods and gets up from his knees and sits down next to Jonas on the bed.

Isak’s hand is still playing with Jonas’s hair, and Jonas looks up at him with wide eyes and puffy lips. Isak can’t resist leaning down to kiss his friend. Jonas uses both his hands to pull at Isak’s arms to get him closer, into his lap. Isak is now straddling Jonas, still kissing him. Jonas makes an almost whiny sound in the back of his throat. His hands have moved and his arms are locked around Isak’s waist. Isak pulls back a little, in wonder at how desperate Jonas is acting. Jonas is usually so calm and collected. “What do you want?” he asks, giving Jonas a peck on the lips.

“Can you fuck me now?” Jonas asks, looking straight into Isak’s eyes. Isak can tell Jonas is slightly embarrassed about asking for it, but he can also tell that Jonas really wants him to fuck him. Without breaking eye contact, Isak kisses Jonas open-mouthed and wet, before he answers breathily “Yes, Jonas, I’ll fuck you now.”

Isak quickly glances over at Even, to check that he is still okay with what they agreed on earlier. Even just grabs Isak and pulls him in for a deep kiss. He whispers into Isak’s ear: “I think I’ll enjoy watching you fuck him.” “Good”, Isak grins back and kisses Even, before turning towards Jonas to leave a quick kiss on his lips, before he moves off Jonas lap and gestures at him to move further onto the bed.

“Just lie on your back, head on the pillows”, Isak says. It comes out somewhere in the middle of a question and a command. Jonas obeys and settles like Isak suggested. Even stays at his spot at the edge of the bed, while Isak finds condoms and lube in the bedside table. He puts it down on the mattress next to Jonas, before he lies down next to his friend and leans down to kiss him. His upper body is partly lying on top of Jonas’s. Jonas meets his lips eagerly, and they spend some time just kissing, licking at each other’s lips and wrestling their tongues against the other’s. It doesn’t take long before they are grabbing and touching each other. The heat from their previous activities hasn’t exactly cooled down, and the boys soon enough find themselves panting into each other’s mouths, wanting more. Isak’s hand starts to travel down Jonas’s body, stopping only to grace a nipple or to trace one of Jonas’s ribs with his finger, making Jonas shudder underneath him. Jonas has one of his arms wrapped around Isak’s neck, his fingers playing with Isak’s hair, and the other arm is stroking up and down Isak’s back, occasionally gracing the top of his ass.

When Isak’s fingers brush against Jonas’s dick, Jonas keens, and Isak is more than willing to pause his journey towards the prep to give Jonas a couple of pumps, just to see his face as he does it. Jonas looks straight into Isak’s face when he feels his friend’s fingers work on his length, surprising Isak a little bit. Jonas’s gaze is so open and trusting, and also filled with such a fondness, it makes Isak feel butterflies in his stomach and maybe a small tightness in his heart. He knows this isn’t just the two of them having sex, getting off of each other. This is them, wanting to share intimacy, to explore the newfound _something_ that has been lingering between them for a while now. And when Isak sees the way Jonas is looking at him, he thinks that Jonas can see the same expression on Isak’s face, and he knows that they are ready.

“I’m going to prep you now, okay?” he says against Jonas’s lips and Jonas answers “Okay”. He doesn’t look nervous at all. He just spreads his legs to give Isak access. This is Isak’s best friend. He trusts him.

Isak reaches for the lube, pops the lid open and pours a generous amount onto his fingers. He leans down to kiss Jonas as he pushes his hand in between Jonas’s legs. He finds Jonas’s hole and gently presses his middle finger against it, not to breach it, just to give Jonas a sense of what it feels like. He watches as Jonas eyes widen at the sensation. Jonas seems relaxed enough though, and Isak slowly pushes his finger inside and starts to push and pull and twist to make Jonas ready. He takes his time, but eventually adds his index finger to widen Jonas hole further. And all this while leaving slow, lingering kisses on Jonas’s lips. Jonas kisses him back most of the time, but from time to time he stops, looking overwhelmed by Isak’s fingers moving inside of him. Isak is struck by how Jonas seems to trust him, how good he takes Isak’s fingers, how his body is relaxed and warm against Isak’s.

So, Isak adds a third finger. He slows down his movements a little, to give Jonas time to adjust. He keeps stretching him out though, and when he has enough room, he lets his fingers search for Jonas’s prostate. Jonas has been letting out small moans from time to time, a clear sign of his appreciation of what Isak is doing with him, but when Isak finds his prostate and rubs the pad of his middle finger against it, Jonas seems unable to make a sound. His body instantly tenses, his mouth drops open and his eyes go wide, but not a single sound escapes his mouth. Isak watches him in awe, before he pulls back. Jonas’s body immediately goes limp and he sucks in a breath between his teeth. Out of curiosity Isak moves back in to rub Jonas’s prostate again, and Jonas’s reaction repeats itself.

“Fuck, look at you. You look so good on my fingers, Jonas”, Isak praises. He gets a couple unrecognizable grunts in return, before Jonas manages to pull himself somewhat together.

“I didn’t know, I didn’t know, I didn’t know…” Jonas manages to say in between heavy breathing.

“What didn’t you know?” Isak asks fondly, still fucking his fingers inside Jonas.

“I didn’t know it could feel…, and just with your fingers. I didn’t know it would be this good, Is. Fuck.” Jonas arches off the bed and lets out a loud moan when Isak hits his prostate again. Isak crashes their lips together, immensely turned on by his friend’s reaction. He twists and scissors his fingers a couple of more times, before he removes them and grabs a condom from the mattress. His fingers are too slick with lube to open the foil, but before Isak has time to get annoyed about it, Even crawls over to him and takes the condom from him, opens the foil effortlessly and rolls the condom on Isak’s dick. He gives Isak a quick, dirty kiss, before he retreats to the edge of the bed again. Isak looks at him for a second, happy about his boyfriend’s support. Not just because of the technicalities of getting the condom rolled onto his dick, but how Even understands and accepts what Isak and Jonas are sharing, what they are about to share. Isak smiles fondly at his boyfriend, who returns the smile, before Isak’s focus shifts back to Jonas.

Jonas is still lying on his back. The soft curls on his head are a mess and his lips are red and swollen from all the kissing they have been doing. He is looking expectantly up at Isak and he spreads his legs wider as Isak settles between them. Isak uses two of his fingers to check that Jonas is ready and hums in approval when he concludes that he is. He rests his hands against Jonas’s thighs and strokes them up and down a couple of times. “You are sure you still want this?” he asks.

“Yes, Is. I’m sure.”

“Okay.”

Isak positions himself between Jonas’s legs, his hand around the base of his dick to make the initial penetration easier. He slowly pushes inside, his eyes on Jonas’s face the entire time. Jonas keeps staring into Isak’s eyes, and when Isak has bottomed out, they spend some time just looking at each other. At some point Isak moves to lie down, so that his chest is pressing against Jonas’s, but they maintain eye contact, until Jonas stretches his neck to ask for a kiss, which Isak happily grants him. And as they kiss, Isak starts moving. He starts off slowly, but after a couple of thrusts, Jonas’s hips start to move to meet Isak’s, and that spurs Isak on. The pace increases and their lips are no longer able to stay connected. So, they keep looking at each other while Isak thrusts inside of Jonas. Isak changes the angle from time to time, until he hits Jonas’s prostate, causing Jonas to moan and throw an arm across his face.

But Isak wants to see his friend come apart underneath him, and grabs Jonas hand with his own and intertwines their fingers. He does the same with his other hand. Their hands are now pressed against the mattress on either side of Jonas’s head, and Isak keeps fucking into him. At a particularly hard thrust against his prostate, Jonas’s eyes flutter shut, but Isak begs him to look at him, needs to see the look in Jonas’s eyes beneath him, and Jonas forces his eyes open again.

And the expression on Jonas’s face that really gets to Isak. There are no words to describe it. It’s so open, so filled with pleasure. Isak has never seen his friend like this and it does something to him. He feels a closeness to Jonas he hasn’t experienced before, a closeness he never even imagined they were capable of sharing. He feels a warmth spread through his body. And he realises that the small itch he has been having the last couple of months has become an ache that needs to be taken care of. He shivers when he realises that’s what’s about to happen tonight. Jonas is here and Isak needs him.

When Isak hits his prostate several more times, Jonas’s body is writhing underneath Isak’s, and he can’t stop tossing his head from side to side. Isak decides to take mercy in him and slows down a bit and avoids his prostate for the next thrusts. Jonas manages to open his eyes and spots Even sitting on the edge of the bed. He is stroking himself in a steady pace while watching his boyfriend fuck his best friend. Jonas untangles his hand from Isak’s and reaches out to Even, motioning for him to come closer. Even does, and Jonas grabs his neck and pulls him in for a kiss. They kiss slow and passionately, while Isak keeps fucking into Jonas. The sight of the two boys kissing makes him thrust harder and faster, and soon enough Jonas is moaning and writhing underneath him again. The kisses with Even gets sloppier, but they don’t break apart until Jonas pushes at Even to get him to pull back. “Can you touch me, please?” he asks Even, his voice almost pleading. “I’m close. I need to come.”

Even repositions himself a little, so that he can reach between Isak and Jonas’s body to take Jonas’s dick in his hand. Isak moves a bit to the side give Even access.

And like that, with Isak fucking into him in and with Even’s hand on his dick, Jonas lets go. Isak watches him, watches Jonas stare back at him, watches his face go slack. He hears Jonas’s breath hitching in his throat. And then Jonas comes, spilling his fluids over Even’s hand and his own stomach. Isak stares back into Jonas’s eyes and keeps fucking him through his orgasm. Even doesn’t stop rubbing his dick until it starts to soften in his hand.

It takes Jonas a couple of minutes to come back. When he does, Isak and Even a lying on either side of him, carefully touching him, their hands stroking his body and they’re leaving small kisses on his cheeks and neck and shoulders. He looks at Isak with gratitude and affection and kisses him softly on the cheek, the corner of his mouth and then on the lips. Isak smiles back at him and reciprocates the kiss, pressing his body slightly against Jonas. He is still hard, hasn’t come yet. It wasn’t important. Jonas and his experience, his pleasure was. But now that Jonas is kissing him, he involuntarily bucks his hips against Jonas’s hip, and Jonas immediately notices that his friend is still hard.

“You didn’t come?” he asks sheepishly.

“No, but that’s ok”, Isak kisses him and continues “This wasn’t about me, it was about you. Besides, who said that we’re finished for the night?” Isak has a small smirk on his face as he says the last part.

Even hums in agreement behind Jonas, and Jonas turns around to look at him. Even is smiling at him and he leans in to give Jonas a quick kiss. “Wouldn’t you say it’s Isak’s turn to be taken care of now?” he asks Jonas, wiggling his eyebrows a bit, and Jonas smiles and turns back to look at Isak. “Yes. What did you have in mind?” he asks, also wiggling his eyebrows.

Isak rolls his eyes fondly and looks back and forth between them, amused that the boys seem to be ganging up on him and excited about what they might be up to.

“Want to watch me fuck him?” Even asks, leaning over Jonas to kiss his boyfriend.

“Yeah”, Jonas answers breathily.

Isak and Jonas switches positions on the bed, and Even grabs the lube to prep his boyfriend. The prep is fast and efficient, with the sole purpose of making Isak ready for Even’s dick. Jonas seems fascinated though, how Even seems to know Isak’s body so well that he has him ready within minutes. And Isak looks trusting and lovingly down at his boyfriend the entire time.

Isak watches Jonas settle on the bed, lying on his side, his head resting in his hand, as he watches Even position himself between Isak’s legs. Even grabs Isak’s thighs and pushes them up towards Isak’s chest, before he slides all the way in in one motion. Isak moans at the intrusion, and Jonas watches them kiss open-mouthed until Isak wiggles his hips to get Even to move. And Even obliges without hesitation and starts to fuck Isak in a quick pace. It only takes a couple of thrusts before Even finds Isak’s prostate and he keeps hitting it efficiently with every thrust, and soon enough Isak is panting and moaning underneath Even, his body getting more and more flushed. Aware of Jonas’s presence, he turns to look at him and he groans at the sight of Jonas, who has reached down and is touching himself. Isak can see that he is getting hard again, and he lets out a small groan at the realization.

Jonas seems to catch the sound, because he looks over at him, and Isak watches as Jonas starts to pump himself more efficiently, clearly turned on by the sight of Even fucking him. Isak is about to tell Jonas how good he looks, but Even hits his sweet spot with at particularly hard thrust, and Isak’s back arches of the bed and he lets out a load long-drawn out moan. This seems to encourage Even, because he picks up the pace and fucks harder into Isak, who by now is reduced to a mess of pants and moans and Even, Even, Even.

Isak feels himself getting close when Even suddenly slows down, ignoring Isak’s protests. He fucks into Isak shallowly a couple of times and then turns to Jonas. “Kiss him”, he encourages. “But don’t touch him. I want him to come untouched.” Isak groans at this, but looks eagerly over at Jonas, who scoots closer, puts a hand on Isak’s neck and kisses him deeply. “Fuck, Isak. You look so good like this. I can’t believe you. I can’t wait to watch you come. Can you come untouched for us?”

Jonas is speaking into Isak’s mouth and Isak can only make a guttural sound at the back of his throat at Jonas’s words, unable to form words, because Even has started fucking into him again. His eyes flutter shut and he throws his head back against the pillow. And he knows Jonas is watching him, can feel Jonas’s face close to his own, his hand still on his neck. Isak feels himself getting closer and closer to his release. He turns towards Jonas with his eyes wide open and mouth slack. His hand finds Jonas lower arm and he grabs onto it as he stutters: “I’m coming. Watch me come, Jonas.” And then his orgasm rides through him. Jonas looks in awe. His eyes never leave Isak’s face. And Isak is unable to look away from Jonas. He wants Jonas to see, wants to share this with him.

When Isak comes down from his high, he notices that Even is still fucking into him and how he doesn’t seem to be close, and Isak whimpers a bit. “Even”, Isak says breathlessly.

“Yeah, baby?” Even pants back. “Can you come again, baby?”

“Yes, Even. Yes.”

Isak hears a soft groan from Jonas. “Oh, my god, Isak”, he mumbles. His eyes keep darting between Isak’s eyes and his dick, not sure where he wants to be watching.

Even is pounding into Isak, his teeth grinding and his breath hitching in his throat. Isak can see beads of sweat running down his temple. Even is getting close, but he is selfless and strains himself to hit Isak’s spot dead on with every push forward, eager to give his boyfriend satisfaction one more time.

“Even”, Isak pants, looking at his boyfriend. “I’m getting close again. Kiss me.”

Even obliges and leans down to kiss him. It’s open-mouthed and wet, and Even licks against Isak’s lower lip, and Isak immediately opens his mouth and lets his boyfriend’s tongue lick inside his mouth. It doesn’t go on for long though, because soon enough Isak is pulling back for air, and after a few inhales and exhales, his body tenses. He looks into Even’s eyes. “I’m coming, I’m coming…”

Even just licks his lips and nods encouragingly at Isak, before he looks down just in time to see the come shoot out of Isak onto his stomach. Isak’s eyes are closed, but he hears both Even and Jonas groan. And then he hears Even moan rhythmically, before he releases inside of Isak.

After his orgasm, Even collapses on top of Isak. He is panting hard against Isak’s neck, and Isak is stroking up and down Even’s back in a soothing manner. They stay like that for a while, until Isak can feel Even return to him. “Are you ok?” Isak whispers into Even’s ear. Even nods against his neck. “Are you sure? You’re sure you still don’t feel uncomfortable about this?” Isak can hear how his voice almost sounds pleading, but it’s important for him that Even doesn’t have any regrets.

Even kisses his neck and shakes his head as he pulls backs to look Isak in the eyes. He presses their foreheads together, and Isak lets out a sigh, feeling reassured at the gesture that has become their way of telling each other how much they care for each other. Even leans down and whispers into Isak’s ear. “He cares about you, and you care about him. I care about him too. This was a good thing Isak. I love you”. Even Isak knew that Even was fine with what they were doing beforehand, he’s relieved that Even still feels the same after. He pulls Even closer and leaves a kiss against Even’s neck.

After a while, Even rolls off Isak and gets a towel to clean Isak up. When he is done, he lies down on the bed so that Isak is lying between the boys.

“Is everything okay?” Jonas asks. He is suddenly afraid that Even thinks he interfered while he was fucking Isak and that Even might be upset about it.

“Everything is good”, Even says, a small smile on his lips.

“Are you sure?” Jonas pushes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get in your way or take Isak’s attention off of you back there.”

“Jonas.” Isak cuts him off. We wanted you too. Even asked you to kiss me, remember? And after that I wanted you close, okay?”

“Okay”, Jonas says relieved. “But I don’t understand how you can share him like that”, he says directed at Even.

“I don’t own him”, Even says. “I want Isak to be happy, and if being with you tonight makes him happy, and I get to be a part of that, I’m fine with it. Besides, it’s not like I didn’t enjoy this. Watching him fuck you was really hot”. Jonas actually blushes at that, causing Even to grin at him. Isak chuckles between them. “Don’t tease him, Even. That’s not nice.”

“Sorry”, Even mumbles, before he places a soft kiss against Isak’s lips.

“You guys look so good together”, Jonas says, earning a smile from both Isak and Even. “Thank you for sharing this with me tonight. That was incredible.”

“Come here”, Isak and Even says at the same time, both reaching out for him. They all start laughing at that, and Jonas moves closer to kiss Even first, then Isak.

They stay like that for several minutes, snuggled up against each other, sharing kisses and soft touches.

After a while Even gets up to put a couple of pizzas in the oven, since they are all hungry. Before he leaves the room, he throws the duvet on top of the two boys, who are now lying on their sides looking at each other. “Who knew you guys would be so cute together”, he smiles at them. They both smile back at him, before their lips meet in a soft kiss.

After they have finished eating, Isak excuses himself to go to the bathroom, and when he comes back, he finds Jonas on his back and Even hovering over him. They are only wearing boxer briefs. None of them bothered to put on any more clothing to rest and eat. They guys haven’t noticed him yet, and Isak stops to watch them. They aren’t doing anything, just looking at each other, but it is clear to Isak that there is lust between them.

“Kiss him”, he encourages Even. Jonas is startled by Isak’s words and his head snaps in Isak’s direction. Even doesn’t make a move, not until Jonas turns back towards him, only after getting an approving nod from Isak. Then Even grabs Jonas’s chin between his thumb and index finger and lowers himself down so that his chest is flush with Jonas’s, and then he kisses him. It’s tentatively at first, but when Jonas parts his lips slightly, Even is quick to deepen the kiss by tilting his head to the side and coaxing Jonas to part his lips even further by using his tongue.

The kiss turns dirty and wet. Their tongues are sliding together and Even shifts so that he is lying on top of Jonas, his hips rolling slowly down at Jonas’s groin. Jonas moans quietly. Isak feels his dick stir in his boxer briefs and he reaches down to palm himself, before he walks over to the bed and crawls into it carefully and situates himself next to the other two. He watches them kiss. Jonas has his hands in Even’s hair and Even is leaning on one of his lower arms, the one that’s the farthest away from Isak, and the other one is touching Jonas’s neck, his shoulder, his chest, his ribcage and then altering between the mentioned body parts randomly. It quickly gets heated, dirty.

Isak reaches down to pull his dick out and starts stroking it slowly while he watches. He is hard in no time. The sounds and the vision in front of him, it’s just so god damn hot, by far the hottest thing Isak has experienced when it comes to sex he himself isn’t actively participating in. And he has watched a lot of porn, ok?

He watches as Even removes Jonas’s boxer briefs and then his own. He watches at Even grinds his long, beautiful dick against Jonas’s thick and pulsating one. Isak tightens the grip around himself and pumps hard a couple of times, unable to avoid letting a groan out. He feels the urge to throw his head back, but he wants to watch, wants to see what Even and Jonas are doing, so he strains himself to keep his eyes on them, on their dicks rubbing against each other. He feels Jonas’s eyes on him and shifts his gaze to meet his friend’s. Jonas looks beautiful. Pupils blown, mouth lax, cheeks flushed. Isak wants to kiss him, so he does. Jonas grabs his neck and pulls him in, pushes his tongue inside of Isak’s mouth and starts to suck Isak’s tongue. Isak moans in the back of his throat.

Isak is disappointed when Jonas suddenly pulls away. Isak watches in bewilderment as Jonas throws his head back against the pillow and moans loudly, and it takes Isak until he looks down and spots Even’s head between Jonas’s legs before he realizes what’s going on. Even’s lips are wrapped around Jonas’s length and he is humming around him. Isak’s hand, which he unconsciously was resting against his thigh while Jonas attacked his mouth, immediately starts tugging at his dick again. The sight of Even’s mouth around Jonas dick, of the slightly darker skin disappearing between his red and swollen lips, and Even’s eyes looking up at Isak, is to die for. This time it’s impossible for Isak not to throw his head back in pure lust and want.

Even works at Jonas’s dick a little while longer, before he comes off and crawls back up. He swings by Isak to kiss him roughly, before he leans down to Jonas and does the same to him. Jonas responds eagerly, and he groans in frustration when Even pulls back slightly. “What do you want?” Even asks, always so eager to please. Isak lets go of himself and reaches out to stroke some hair off Even’s forehead.

Then Jonas turns to Isak. “Is it ok if I want to fuck Even?”

Isak’s hand goes straight back to his dick and squeezes it. He almost feels ridiculous about how much he is affected by Even and Jonas _together_. And the thought of watching his _friend_ fuck his _boyfriend_ is almost overwhelming. But it isn’t up to him.

“I don’t mind”, he says, “but it’s up to Even.”

“Yes, of course.” Jonas looks up at Even.

“Are you sure?” Even looks at Isak. His frown makes him look a little concerned, like he isn’t sure that Isak actually wants him to get fucked by anyone else. But there’s no need to be concerned.

“Yeah”, Isak lets out breathily. “You two together, it looks so fucking hot. And we said we would be open to anything Jonas wants, right?”

Jonas looks between them. He must know that Isak and Even have had a talk about him and what might go down before they decided to bring him home tonight. But still he swallows hard in his throat when he heard Isak’s words. He reaches out and grabs Isak’s lower arm and Even’s elbow and pulls. He hasn’t thought it through, though, because Isak’s shoulder collides against Even’s side as their bodies meet above him. It makes them laugh a bit. But then Isak settles close next to him, his body stretched out along Jonas’s, and Even mirrors Isak on the other side of Jonas’s body, and then the two boys lean in and kisses each of the corners of Jonas’s mouth at the same time. Jonas sighs. He revels at the feeling of lips and hands on him. Occasionally he leans towards Isak and lets him kiss him. Occasionally he leans towards Even to get kissed by him.

All the attention has him worked up quickly again though, and during an especially dirty kiss by Even, Jonas can’t take it anymore. He sits up, turns around and pulls at Even. Even lets Jonas manhandle him, so that Even is lying on his side, facing Isak, and Jonas is behind him. Jonas grabs the lube, ready to open Even up, but Isak reaches for it. “Do you mind?” he asks. “I want to do it.”

Jonas doesn’t mind, only hands over the lube to Isak.

Isak props Evens leg up so that he can reach behind him better. He pours lube over his fingers and starts to work with Even’s hole. Jonas watches from his position behind Even, amazed by Isak’s skilled fingers. By the time Isak is done and Even is ready to go, Jonas has worked himself up, his hand on his dick. His eyes haven’t left the sight of Isak’s fingers up Even’s ass one time.

Isak hands Jonas a condom, which Jonas rolls on quickly. He positions himself behind Even, grabbing Even’s leg underneath his knee and pulls his leg up a bit to get better access. His dick is nudging against Even’s entrance and Jonas is looking over at Isak, who is lying in front of Even, some space between them, so that he can watch. Jonas holds Isak’s gaze as he slowly pushes into Even.

Even moans with pleasure as Jonas thick cock pushes into him, all the way in. Jonas’s body shivers as his dick is enveloped by Even’s walls, warm and wet. And then he starts rolling his hips. He starts out slow, but notices that Even takes is well, and then he starts to go quicker. Even moans. Jonas moans. And Isak looks, and looks, and looks.

It doesn’t take long before Isak notices that Jonas’s thrusts are becoming somewhat erratic and that he is panting between gritted teeth. Even isn’t quite there yet. So, Isak slides closer, tangles his legs with Even’s and lines his dick with Even’s dick, before he takes them both in his hand. He collects pre-come from both Even and himself and uses it to glide his hand up and down their combined lengths. Even’s breath hitches at the sensation, before he is begging Isak to kiss him. And Isak does. He kisses and jerks of his boyfriend as he gets fucked by his best friend from behind. Even’s dick rubs against Isak’s with every thrust Jonas provides, causing extra friction between them. Isak feels his release approaching. He can tell that Even is getting closer too. So, he looks up at Jonas, who has managed to somehow pull up his upper body to lean over Even to watch Even and Isak’s dicks in Isak’s hand. And that, apparently, is what tips Jonas over the edge. Isak watches him come, watches his face fill with pure pleasure, pure bliss. And that brings Isak to his release, and he registers that both Jonas and Even are watching him come over his hand and their dicks, before his eyes flutter shut. The come makes his hand glide more easily and it doesn’t take long before Even comes too.

After, when the condom is taken care of and the mess has been somewhat cleaned up, they lie down in bed, Isak in the middle. They share a few kisses, before Jonas settles on his side with his back against Isak’s chest. Isak had his arm around Jonas’s waist. Behind him Even has his chest pressed against Isak’s back, his long arm wrapped around both Isak and Jonas. They are all relaxed and content.

“Thank you”, Jonas offers, and the other two hum in response.

“Thank _you_ ”, Even says, and Jonas snorts fondly.

It’s silent for a while.

“I’m not sure I want to go back to only being friends tomorrow”, Isak says, earning a squeeze from Jonas around the forearm that is pressed against Jonas’s chest, and a soft kiss from Even just behind his ear.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked it, I would really appreciate a kudos or a comment. I'm a bit self consious about this, tbh...
> 
> I recently got at tumblr: himmelskys  
> I haven't posted much, but feel free to come talk to me if you have something on your mind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonas wakes up in Isak and Even's bed the morning after. What happens next?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally this was meant to be a one shot. But my mind kept coming back to it. I kept thinking about Jonas and Isak and Even exploring their relationship further together. So I'm going to continue this story. I'm not sure if I'm equipped to take on a story about a throuple, but I'm giving it a shot.
> 
> My life is super busy and I can't make any promises when it comes to the number of chapters, their length or how regularly I will be updating. BUT I will finish the story.
> 
> This chapter does not contain smut, but there will be more smut in future chapters, if you want/need to know.

When Jonas wakes up, it takes him a couple of seconds before he realises where he is. He’s almost at the edge of the bed, facing the wall of Isak and Even’s bedroom. He can hear the clattering of pots and pans in the kitchen, along with the quiet noise of a song playing on the radio. Yesterday night slowly dawns on him, memories and flashing images working their way through his brain. His entire being jerks as panic floods through his body. He unconsciously takes a deep breath, a small hiss escaping between his lips.

It’s not that he regrets it. Not at all. It had been in the cards for some time, and he wanted it, he really did. But waking up now, in Even and Isak’s bed, he isn’t sure what is expected of him. Should he stay? Should he leave? What are they to each other now? Should he act normal? What is normal?

All these questions run through his mind in a matter of seconds and he feels a knot in his stomach he wishes wasn’t there. It wasn’t supposed to be like this after.

He calms down instantly though as he feels a hand on his shoulder and Isak’s voice whispering a soft «Hey, are you ok?»

Jonas turns around in bed and finds a barely awake Isak, hair all tousled, looking at him with a concerned expression on his face.

«Uh, yeah», Jonas stutters a little, unsure of what to say, unsure of what Isak thinks about him now.

«Are you sure?» Isak asks, the hand that was touching Jonas’s shoulder now tucked underneath Isak’s cheek. Jonas wishes Isak hadn’t removed it, but shakes the thought off immediately. He shouldn’t go there. Or can he? Fuck, he doesn’t know. He swallows hard before he answers.

«Yeah, I think so. I-, uh-, I’m... I think maybe I should go.» It comes out as something in between a statement and a question. He regrets his words immediately, doesn’t want to leave. But he doesn’t know if Isak wants him to stay either, so maybe it is for the best if he leaves and goes home to his own apartment.

«Okay», Isak drags the word out, looking at him expectantly. «You don’t have to, you know. It sounds like Even is in the kitchen making breakfast. You could eat with us.»

«I don’t want to overstay my welcome.»

«Jonas.» Isak looks at him with a frown. «You’re not. We want you to stay.»

Jonas doesn’t know what to say, just stares at a spot on the wall behind Isak.

«Hey», he hears Isak say, before he feels Isak’s hand carefully touching his shoulder again. He inhales through his nose and looks at Isak, who has the softest expression on his face. «Stay», he says in a low voice, squeezing Jonas’s shoulder a bit.

«Ok», Jonas sighs, which elicits a small smile from Isak. Jonas can’t help but smile back.

«Good. Then let’s go check out what Even is making.»

They get up. Jonas is a little embarrassed when Isak throws him a pair of boxer briefs, sweatpants and a shirt, but Isak only grins at him. He puts the clothes on and follows Isak to the kitchen, where they are greeted by an enthusiastic Even. He watches Even peck Isak on the lips and it gives him a weird feeling in his gut, a feeling he doesn’t know if he wants to decipher, until Even steps closer, looks him in the eyes and rests a hand on his shoulder, his index and middle finger gently brushing his neck. Jonas feels a shiver go through his body at the touch, but relaxes at the warmth in Even’s eyes.

«Did you sleep well?» Even asks.

«Yeah», Jonas says. «The best sleep I’ve had in ages, actually.»

Even grins at that, before he lets go of Jonas’s shoulder. «Ok, guys. I might have gone overboard with breakfast...»

«What else is new?», Isak chuckles.

«Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’ve got bacon and eggs, pancakes with syrup and blueberries, orange juice and coffee. Coffee, Jonas?» Even asks, looking over his shoulder on his way over to the coffee maker.

«Yes, please.»

Breakfast is fun and easy. Jonas can tell that both Isak and Even are making an effort to keep the conversation going, sticking to simple topics anyone would find entertaining, asking him of his opinion and making sure he gets to voice them. Not that Jonas usually needs help in that department. He isn’t known as someone who keeps his opinions to himself, quite the contrary. But on the other hand, he hasn’t been in a situation like this before, having breakfast with his best friend and his boyfriend the morning after he fucked said best friend and his boyfriend. So, he finds himself being appreciative of Isak and Even, not only for making him stay, but for putting in the effort to not make the situation awkward.

They make sure that Jonas has plenty of food and beverages, and by the time they are clearing the table, Jonas realises that he can’t remember the last Sunday he wasn’t hungover, but full from a really nice breakfast someone else prepared for him. He says so and both boys beam at him.

When Isak asks if he wants to play Fifa, Jonas accepts without thinking about it.

Even joins them after a while. He settles down next to his boyfriend and pulls him into his lap. Isak chuckles and kisses Even, a quick peck to his lips before he focuses back on the game. They play for a while. Jonas can’t help but look over at the two guys from time to time. Even is constantly touching Isak, his face, his forearms, his thighs, and tries to kiss him on several occasions. Isak is so invested in the game though, that he only half-heartedly reciprocates Even’s efforts, which causes Even to whine a bit. «Baby!»

«What?» Isak says, feigning annoyance. «I’m in the middle of a game.»

«Then pause it. I want to kiss you.»

Isak sighs, but presses pause to give Even what he wants. It’s a soft, lingering kiss. Jonas watches them from the other end of the couch, watches Even pull Isak closer, watches how Isak melts into the kiss, and he feels something stir inside of him. But he doesn’t want to explore it any further.

When they break the kiss, Isak turns to look at him, and Jonas realises that he has been staring at the two boys.

«What?» Isak asks. His voice is neutral. He doesn’t seem annoyed or anything, more like he wants to know what Jonas is thinking,

«Uh, nothing. It’s just… You guys look good together.» He hopes it come of as sincere, because he does mean that. He’s always thought Isak and Even look good together, and he has always been happy that Isak found Even. Even has been good for Isak, the same way Isak has been good for Even. And Jonas has and will always be supportive of their relationship. But right now, he just wishes it was him on the couch, with Isak in his lap. His cheeks blush at the thought, and he takes a few deep breaths in attempt to make the blush go away.

Isak only smiles at him, and he can see how Even is looking at him over Isak’s shoulder, his expression open. He nudges Isak’s shoulder. Isak turns to look at Even and Jonas can tell that there is a silent conversation between them, he just doesn’t know the content of it.

Isak turns back at him, slides of Even’s lap and settles next to him, before he clears his throat, pats the spot next to him on the couch and asks: «Want to come over here?»

«Uh, what?» Jonas says disbelieving, not sure if he is perceiving the situation correctly.

«Come here», Isak encourages, reaching his hand out towards Jonas.

Jonas swallows, before he slowly moves closer. He settles into the spot next to Isak, but keeps a small distance between them, not knowing what the protocol is and definitely not wanting to cross a line, if there is one. It fucks with his mind that he doesn’t know if there is one.

He throws Isak a quick glance and tries to relax. His body freezes instantly as he notices Isak putting his arm across his shoulder and pulling him closer. It doesn’t take long though before Isak’s body heat has him melting into Isak’s side. Isak casually hands over his remote to Even and encourages him and Jonas to play a game against each other.

One game turns into three, and Jonas loses all of them, to distracted by the sensation of Isak’s body against his own and Isak’s fingers playing with the hair in his neck.

He leaves a while later. He doesn’t want to overstay his welcome, even though both Isak and Even insist that he isn’t. But he figures he should let them have the rest of the Sunday afternoon by themselves. He needs a shower anyway, and his mother wants him to come over for dinner.

So, he puts on his shoes and jacket, grabs the plastic bag with his dirty clothes from the night before and puts his hand on the door knob, ready to leave, when he feels himself being pulled back. Before he realises what’s happening, Isak has his arms wrapped around him and is leaning down, his face snuggling into the crook of Jonas’s neck. He instinctively wraps his own arms around his best friend and buries his nose in Isak’s hair. He hears Isak let out a content sigh, feels the breath against his skin.

Jonas’s eyes meet Even’s, who is standing close by, watching them with a small smile on his face. Jonas raises his eyebrows, asking a silent question if Even is okay with what’s going on. Even nods, and Jonas closes his eyes and lets himself melt into Isak’s embrace. They stay like that for a while. When they pull back, Jonas watches Isak’s face carefully, finding affection written all over it. It tugs at his heart.

Isak takes a step back and thereby lets go of Jonas completely. Jonas misses the sensation of Isak’s body against his own instantly. It’s quickly replaced when Even steps closer and pulls him into a hug. Jonas watches a soft smile spread across Isak’s face at the sight of them, and he manages to smile back before his cheek is pressed against Even’s chest. It feels nice being in Even’s arms too, and he allows himself to take a deep breath through his nose to take in the smell of the taller guy. It’s a masculine smell, slightly mixed with laundry detergent, and Jonas revels in it. He feels Even’s hands rub his back carefully, before Even pulls back and looks Jonas in the eyes. «We’ll talk to you later, yeah?»

Jonas only nods, before he turns around and leaves.

Once outside he decides to walk home instead of taking the tram. It isn’t that many stops between the guys’ apartment and his own anyway, and he figures he could use the fresh air.

A thousand thoughts run through his mind as he starts walking. He isn’t sure what comes next. In some way he thinks that what happened should be a onetime only thing, that the hugs in the hallway was the ending of the intimacy they’ve shared.

How would anything else work anyway? Isak and Even are together. They are a couple. Jonas doesn’t want to come between them.

At the same time he isn’t sure if it is enough to be friends. He thinks he wants more, needs more.

An image of Isak being fucked by Even, asking Jonas to watch him while he comes, flashes before his eyes. It’s the most intimate experience he has ever had with another human being. And he hasn’t wrapped his head around the fact that Isak wanted to share it with him, show him how good it can be to be with another guy. And he hasn’t wrapped his head around the fact that both Isak and Even wanted to be with him, to share this experience with him. And he hasn’t wrapped his head around how easy going they were this morning and how they made an effort to make him feel at ease too.

Jonas knows that being with Isak alone isn’t an option. But he doesn’t mind. In fact, Jonas has always liked Even. He is kind, good looking and easy to talk to. Sleeping with Even wasn’t a necessity, something Jonas endured to be able to be with Isak. Jonas wanted Even too, even though he doesn’t feel quite the same way about Even as he does about Isak. Isak and Jonas go way back. They grew up together. They have a bond.

And he thinks that that bond is stronger now than it was before. At least he hopes so.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have a question or want to talk to me, you can find me on tumblr: himmelskys
> 
> Kudos and comments give me self esteem and motivation. Constructive critisism is always welcome.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even and Isak talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is about Isak and Even having a talk after Jonas left. It's really dialogue driven and was fucking hard to write. Please bear with me...

When the door closes behind Jonas, Isak stares at it for several seconds before he looks up at Even. “I feel stupid for not wanting him to leave”, he admits, not knowing exactly how he feels about that.

“That’s not stupid. I didn’t want him to leave either”, Even says.

“You didn’t?” Isak asks carefully. Not sure what Even means exactly.

“No”, Even answers simply, before he takes a step towards Isak, pulls him in by his waist and kisses him softly. “Yesterday was… good. It exceeded all my expectations. The way Jonas was so open and trusting, not just with you, but with me too. It felt right having him there with us last night. And he is so easy going and great company. It was nice that he spent some time with us here today.”

Isak thinks about what Even just said. It’s easy to agree with him. Last night was amazing. But Isak knows it was a one-time thing, something Even had agreed that they could experience together, since Isak was curious about it and Jonas seemed keen as well. But now he thinks last night was something else than just him being curious, and it makes him sad to think about that it’s never going to happen again. 

When he doesn’t say anything, Even wraps his arms around him even tighter.

“Are you ok? Did I say something wrong?”

Isak contemplates this for a second before he answers. “You didn’t say anything wrong”, he says, giving Even a reassuring glance. “But I’m not sure how I feel about what happened. I mean, I don’t regret it or anything, not at all. But I.., I think I need some time to wrap my head around what happened. Is that ok?”

He’s unable to meet Even’s eyes when he says the last part, just looks down at Even’s chest. Isak is unsure if this is the right response, the right way to be dealing with what happened, but he doesn’t know what else to say at this point. There are just too many thoughts and emotions to deal with. He needs to sort them, to get some structure.

“Hey”, Even says, tilting his face up by his chin, using only his index finger. Isak hesitantly looks into his eyes, halfway expecting Even to be annoyed or upset with him, but all he finds there is fondness. “We don’t have to talk about it right now. How about we watch a movie before I cook us dinner?”

Isak is so thankful Even doesn’t press the issue. He smiles at Even gratefully, nods and lets Even guide him towards the living room.

Isak lets Even pick the movie. He is too distracted to focus on what movie they should be watching. Actually, he doesn’t care what movie they watch. It’s just not _important_ right now. Usually him and Even spend up until half an hour each Sunday (because Sundays they’re usually too lazy to do anything else but snuggle up together and watch movies) arguing about what movie to watch. Isak has on more than one occasion suggested that they take turns picking the movie, but Even has refused and argued that each movie should be carefully selected to match their moods and movie desires on that particularly day. Isak has always told him that that is the stupidest thing he has ever heard and that it’s such a waste of time to be bickering about movie choices every Sunday, at which Even laughs every single time, but Even gets his way. Isak doesn’t have it in his heart to put up a fight about something that Even is so passionate about.

But today it seems that Even understands that Isak is feeling… _off_ , because he doesn’t say anything when Isak asks him to choose a movie. And Isak doesn’t say anything when Even chooses a random action movie, knowing Even doesn’t want to watch it and the only reason he puts it on is for Isak’s benefit. He just snuggles closer to his boyfriend on the couch and lets Even wrap a blanket around them.

About half an hour into the movie, Even notices that Isak, who has had his head in Even’s lap for the majority of that half hour, is staring at the ceiling, not paying attention to the movie at all.

“Baby, you’re not watching the movie”, Even says concerned.

“Uh, sorry”, Isak says and shifts in Even’s lap so that he’s facing the television. He tries to focus on the movie to figure out how far into the plot line they are, but his attempt isn’t very successful and Even seems to notice, because after a couple of minutes he pauses the Movie.

“Maybe we should have that talk after all?” Even says. “You seem distracted, baby.”

Isak hesitates, not sure of what he should say. His mind has been working in overdrive ever since Jonas left, he has a heavy feeling in his stomach and he keeps seeing Jonas’s face before his eyes. The expression on his face as Isak fucked him. His wide eyes when Isak begged Jonas to watch him as he came from being fucked by Even. The small smile tugging at his lips when they were still in bed this morning and Isak convinced him to stay for breakfast.

It doesn’t help when Even asks him what he’s thinking, either. Isn’t it obvious, Isak thinks. Isn’t it obvious what he’s thinking about? They had a three way with Isak’s best friend last night. His _straight_ best friend. (Or at least Isak used to think that Jonas is straight. After recent events he isn’t so sure anymore.) And wouldn’t that mess with anyone’s head?

So, Isak just shrugs, takes a breath and the words that leaves his mouth sound deflated, defeated, like there’s no point in even trying to pretend that he is fine. “I can’t stop thinking about him or what went down yesterday. I’m sorry.” He is still facing the television, isn’t sure if he wants to see Even’s reaction to his Words.

“Do you regret it?” Even asks. His voice is neutral. Isak can’t make out what he is thinking.

“No”, Isak whispers. “But a part of me thinks that I should be regretting it and the fact that I don’t makes me feel bad. Does that make any sense?” Isak asks. He feels Even’s hand tugging at his shoulder, a silent plea to get him to turn around. He rolls around, so that he once again is facing the ceiling. He can see Even’s face from the corner of his eye, but he can’t tell what Even is thinking. Not knowing where else to put his hands, he wraps his arms around himself, each hand resting right below his armpits. He feels small, exposed. It makes him uncomfortable.

He feels a smidgeon of relief when he senses Even’s hand in his hair, and he closes his eyes at the familiarity of the touch.

“Did you enjoy it?” Even asks then.

Isak opens his eyes, just so that he can roll them at his boyfriend. “Wasn’t it obvious that I did? That’s not the issue.”

“Okay. And do we both agree that Jonas seemed to enjoy it?” Even inquires further.

“Yes, but where are you going with this? Neither of us would have gone through with it if we thought that he didn’t want or enjoy it. That’s not the issue either.”

“Okay”, Even says again. “And I enjoyed it too. We all enjoyed it. So, there is no reason for you to feel bad.”

“It…it’s not that easy”, Isak says.

“Then explain it to me. I thought it was what you wanted.” Even says softly.

Isak wonders where Even gets his patience from. If it was the other way around, if it were Even who had wanted to sleep with his best friend, a childhood friend, and he had acted all funny about it afterwards, Isak reckons he would be freaking out. Not sitting on the couch with his boyfriend’s head in his lap, running his hands through his hair, trying to _understand._

Isak wants to explain, though. But he doesn’t know _how_ to explain it, because he doesn’t know what he should be explaining. He doesn’t know what he’s feeling.

Isak doesn’t say anything for a while. He tries to gather his thoughts. He considers putting it off, both dealing with his emotions and talking to Even about them, but he figures he both wants and needs to talk to Even. He needs help figuring out what the hell is going on inside that head of his, and talking about it might give him some direction. But at the same time he is nervous about what might come out of his mouth if he starts talking and what Even might think about it.

He inhales and exhales through his nose a couple of times, before he speaks.

“I don’t want to lose you”, he says. Out of the million thoughts that have been going through his mind, that is the most important one. Even means everything to him, and it’s essential to him that Even knows that.

“Why are you saying that?” Even says with a frown on his face. “You’re not going to lose me.”

Isak thinks that Even shouldn’t make that promise, not yet. But he doesn’t say it out loud. “I love you”, he says instead and looks into Even’s eyes to put weight behind his words, to make sure that Even understands that he means it.

Even smiles at him. “I love you too.”

“Please don’t get mad at me. I don’t want to hurt you.” Isak tries to keep his voice steady, but it breaks a little at the end and he feels his eyes welling up. He blinks a couple of times, not wanting the tears to escape his eyes. He feels Even’s thumb caress his cheek.

“You have feelings for him”, Even says matter of factly. There is no anger or sadness in his voice, and Isak looks at him in surprise. Something falls into place at Even’s words. Isak knows that it’s true the moment he hears them. He has just been too afraid to go there, to take his feelings and form them into actual words, to give them meaning. He looks at Even, who is looking at him affectionately.

“You know?” Isak asks in wonder. “How? And you’re not mad? How come you don’t regret what happened yesterday if you _know_?”

Even seems to think about it, and when he speaks, his voice is steady. “I know you, Isak. And I know you love me. I can feel it every day. But you and Jonas have something special. One doesn’t have to watch you closely to see it. But I have to say that I was a bit surprised when I realized that he…seemed interested in something more. Although I don’t know what he wants exactly. Maybe what happened yesterday was all he wanted. But anyway, he was your first love and he’s been by your side since you were kids, so I understand that there’s a connection between you. And yesterday was hot, but also beautiful. Seeing you two together… wow, and to get to be apart of that... It was amazing. So, no, I’m not mad. And I don’t regret anything.”

“No”, Isak almost exclaims, his voice firm. He sits up and turns towards Even and grabs his hands with his own. “He wasn’t my first love. Sure, he was the first guy I had feelings for, my first crush, but _you_ are my first _love_. I love you so much. And I don’t want to lose you or what we have. That’s not going to change.”

“Isak…”

“No, I mean it, and it’s important to me that you know that. I love you, Even. I’m not leaving you, no matter what I feel about Jonas.” Isak feels almost desperate, afraid that Even thinks he’s second-rated or something, when the truth is that Even is his everything, the one person Isak can’t live without.

“Okay. I love you too. And I believe in you and I trust you. Thank you for talking to me about how you are feeling. Because if this is going to work, we have to be open and honest with each other.”

Isak feels relieved by Even’s words. But he still had this gnawing feeling of quilt inside his chest.

“Of course. I never want to lie to you or keep anything secret from you. But..., but I feel bad about having feelings for Jonas. You don’t deserve that. You are an amazing boyfriend and I would never do anything to deliberately hurt you. And I’m sorry if this has made you doubt me or our relationship in any way.”

Even shakes his head in earnest. “I don’t have any doubts. We both agreed beforehand that if Jonas wanted to, we would invite him to spend the night with us. And don’t feel bad. You don’t have to apologize about how you’re feeling.”

Isak is about to say something, when Even’s previous words sink in. “What do you mean ‘Because if this is going to work..?’ Were…, are you thinking about leaving me?” He feels himself tearing up again at the thought, but Even doesn’t give him any time to really consider the possibility, because this time it’s Even’s turn to grab onto Isak’s hands. 

“No, that’s not what I meant.” Even’s voice is calm, but firm, and he has the sincerest expression on his face. “What I mean is, if you want to explore your feelings for Jonas, then I’m fine with it. But you, _we_ , have to talk about it and be honest about it.”

“What do you mean? I just told you that I want to be with _you_.”

“I know, baby. But if you need to see what this…thing with Jonas is, then it’s okay. I don’t want you to suppress your feelings.”

“But…”, Isak says confused “…there’s a difference between suppressing and actively acting on those feelings. Why would you want me to do that? Are… are you feeling alright?” he asks, suddenly considering the fact that Even might be on the verge of an episode, although he hasn’t shown any signs that he might be that Isak can think of.

“Relax. I’m not manic, Isak.”

Quilt washes over him and Isak surges forward to give his boyfriend a hug. “I’m sorry. I didn’t actually think that you were, but this is confusing. What are you saying exactly?”

Even sighs and wraps his arms around Isak’s back and pulls him closer. Isak relaxes at the warmth from Even’s body enveloping him. It always feels so nice being in Even’s arms.

“I’m saying that if you want to be with him again, you can. But…” Even emphasizes the word “…I don’t want you doing it without me. If you want to be with him physically again, I think I need to be there. I wouldn’t be comfortable knowing you’re alone with him like that. I mean, if you’re serious about not wanting to leave me, then we have to do this together” 

Isak pulls back from their embrace and just stares at his boyfriend. “First of all, how can you say that? How can you be willing to let me do that? Most people would do the opposite. They would refuse their boyfriend to see the other person ever again knowing there were feelings involved. Secondly, I don’t even know if I want to do that. I don’t want to do anything that would jeopardize our relationship. And besides, I don’t know how Jonas feels about it.”

“I don’t own you, Isak. I don’t want to hold you back. If this is something you need to do, I’ll support you, but my terms are that we do it together. I’m not comfortable with you starting something with him on the side…”

“Wow, slow down. I’m not _starting_ anything with anyone on the side. Like I said, I don’t know what I want. Fuck, this is so confusing. And how about what you want? Do you even want to be with Jonas again?” Isak would hate it if Even agreed to do anything like last night only because Isak wants to.

“I like Jonas”, Even states. “And the sex was great. I’m open to doing it again if you want to.”

“Just like that? You make it sound so simple. Are you really sure about this?” Isak can’t believe where the conversation has lead them, that what he is hearing really are the words that are coming out of Even’s mouth.

“Yes.” Even smiles and tilts his head as he waits for Isak to say something.

“I…I think I need to think about this. This is a bit much right now.”

“Of course. There’s no rush, baby. This is all up to you. Just take your time and think about it, and just talk to me, yeah? You can always talk to me about it.”

“Thank you for being so open accepting of all this. I’m not sure I would have been if it was the other way around.”

“You don’t know that, but let’s not spend time thinking about that when it’s not even an issue. How about we take a break and finish the movie, huh?” 

Isak smiles and hums in agreement, before he leans in to kiss Even and repositions himself so that he is snuggled up against Even’s side.

This time it’s easier to pay attention to the movie, but from time to time for the rest of the day, he can’t help but wonder about Jonas and what he thinks about what happened. He thinks about texting him to ask him if he’s alright and to make sure that Jonas doesn’t have any regrets. But he doesn’t do it, afraid that it might be awkward, that Jonas might feel Isak is being too pushy. And besides, he isn’t quite sure where they stand now, even though they agreed that they would be friends after. The last thing Isak wants, is to lose Jonas’s friendship.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the following week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the girls for rooting for me! You know who you are <3

Ever since Isak first saw his schedule for the upcoming semester in January, he has had the desire to hunt someone, anyone, in the administration section of the Department of Biosciences down and strangle them for making every Monday a bitch. Whoever decided that it would be a good idea to make him, and his fellow students taking a master’s degree in molecular biosciences, have two fucking lectures before lunch, every god damned Monday, should get fired. Even though it gives him a kick in the ass, a reason to get up in the morning, a kick start to his week, every week, Isak hates it. He can’t wait for his schedule to change next semester. Unfortunately, that means he must take his exams, and they are closing in on him faster than he wants to. Although he has been feeling confident this semester, he is still getting a bit stressed out about his upcoming exams, and he feels it is important to attend all his lectures.

But today… today he is struggling so hard to pay attention to what the lecturer is saying. It’s almost lunch time, and Isak has four hours of lectures behind him, but nothing seems to stick to his brain. He looks down at his notepad where he has barely written two pages worth of notes, while usually he has written pages and pages with comprehensive notes marked in different colors sorted by how important the content is. He has been studying for almost four years now and has developed an advanced system that helps him study as efficient as possible, but today his system is failing him. Or maybe it’s his brain that’s failing him. He isn’t sure.

Instead of paying attention, he has been playing with his phone between his hands, repeatedly looking down at it.

When the lecturer finally finishes his speech on… whatever, Isak doesn’t know anymore, Isak is sitting slumped in his chair, phone in his hand, staring at the screen. The message app is open. People are packing up their stuff and pushing past him, but he can’t seem to move.

He just keeps staring at the screen, until his right index finger opens his conversation with Jonas. His eyes move between the letters on the bottom of the screen and the space where one usually types out the messages. Up and down, up and down. For the first time in his life he doesn’t know what he should text his best friend. He only knows that he wants to text him _something_. With a sigh he closes the app, locks the screen and shoves the phone in his jeans pocket. He gets up, gathers his stuff and walks towards the door. He’s the only one left in the lecture hall now.

He’s about to push through the door when a feeling of determination hits him. He pauses in his tracks, fishes his phone out, opens the message app again and types out a message.

 

 **To Jonas:**  
_Hi_  
_Just wanted to check how_  
_you’re doing. You know,_  
_after what happened this  
_ _weekend._

He thinks is sounds casual enough and hits send before he has time to change his mind. He hates that it feels awkward to send the message, that he doesn’t know how Jonas feels about what happened. And he is terrified that things between them might change because of it. If he knew that what happened was going to make him feel this way, he isn’t so sure he would have gone through with it in the first place.

He is still looking at the screen when he sees the small dots appearing, indicating that Jonas is texting him back. Isak lets his body rest against the wall next to the door as he waits for Jonas’s text to come through. The wait makes him nervous, even though the wait isn’t long.

He feels his phone vibrate as Jonas’s message appears on the screen.

 

 **From Jonas:  
** _I’m good. And you?_

 

The disappointment spreads in his guts. The message is so short. He can’t read anything out of it, except that Jonas claims to be good. What does he mean by good? Better than okay? And does it mean anything? Maybe he’s just being nice about it?

He bites down on his lip as he types out his reply.

 

 **To Jonas:**  
_I’m good too. No  
_ _regrets?_

 

He’s not sure he wants the answer to that question, but at the same time he needs to make sure that Jonas doesn’t think what happened was a mistake. He isn’t sure if he could handle Jonas regretting it or being upset with him over what happened. Isak feels somewhat responsible for what happened, like he was the initiator, and if Jonas was having second thoughts, Isak would feel bad about it.

Jonas’s answer comes as quickly as the first one.

 

 **From Jonas:**  
_No regrets. Are you_  
_having regrets?_

 

Isak doesn’t need time to think about his next reply.

 

 **To Jonas:**  
_No, absolutely not._  
_Just wanted to make_  
_sure that you are ok  
_ _and that we’re still good._

 

 **From Jonas:**  
_We’re good, Isak.  
_ _No worries._

 

Isak hadn’t realized how tense he has been, probably ever since Jonas left their apartment yesterday. Jonas text makes relief flood through his body, dissolving the tension that has made his shoulders and back almost hurt from strain.

He is about to put his phone away when he feels it vibrate again and another text from Jonas comes through.

 

 **From Jonas:**  
_Honestly, this weekend_  
_was amazing. I hope that_  
_doesn’t freak you out or  
_ _anything._

 

The words tug at his heart strings a little. The knowledge that Jonas perception of recent events is that, that it was _amazing_ , makes his fondness towards Jonas grow bigger. Makes him wonder. He doesn’t dare to get his hopes up though, and he settles for something reassuring instead when he types out his next reply.

 

 **To Jonas:**  
_I’m so glad you think_  
_I think it was_  
_amazing too. I’ve sort_  
_of been freaking out a_  
_little. Not over what_  
_happened, but how you_  
_felt about it, if you thought  
_ _it was a mistake._

 

 **From Jonas:**  
_No need to freak out._  
_It’s all good. What_  
_happened could_  
_never have been a  
_ _mistake._

 

He stares at the screen for several seconds, before he scrolls up to the beginning of their conversation and reads through the messages. When he’s done, he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and shoves the door open. He can’t let his mind go there. Can’t let it get his hopes up about that Jonas feelings might resemble his own. Because if he did, it would only get messy.

 

-_-

 

Two days later, when Isak is on his way home from uni, he decides to make a stop at his favorite coffee shop, right next to the tram station closest to where the Department of Biosciences is located. His mind has been fairly cooperative today and he has gotten a lot of work done. So, he reckons he deserves a little treat by getting some decent coffee. Even has texted to tell him that he has to work late, and Isak’s plan is to go home, make some dinner and continue to study at home until Even finishes work.

Even doesn’t usually work late, but the advertisement agency where he works recently landed a big client, and as one of the creative designers Even has a deadline to present the new design for a new national advertisement campaign. Even has been stressing a bit about the long hours, but since Isak is so busy with his upcoming exams, he really doesn’t mind. He rather enjoys studying at home when it’s quiet.

As Isak enters the coffee shop, the first thing he sees, is a familiar figure by the counter, with a mop of dark, curly hair. The last year of high school Jonas let his hair grow a little, just below his ears, and he’s had it that way since. It gives him a somewhat softer, even more laidback look, which Isak likes on him.

He approaches Jonas slowly, not exactly with wary steps, but he is a little unsure of how Jonas will react to seeing him. He hates that he feels that way.

But there’s no need to worry, because when Jonas hears him approaching, he turns around and a smile spreads across his face as he notices Isak. Isak immediately returns it.

«Hey.»

«Hi», Isak replies. «On your way home?»

«Nah», Jonas says and points to the bag he has flung over his shoulder. «Going to uni. Afternoon study session with a couple of people in the same program as me. They asked if I would join, and they are some of the smarter ones in my year, so thought I would check it out.»

«Cool.» Isak says, nodding and pressing his lips together.

«How about you?» Jonas asks, seemingly nonchalant.

«On my way home. Even’s working late, so I’m going to study at home. I need a break from uni, but I have to do the work now that exams are coming up.» Isak sighs. “You know how it is.”

Jonas nods in understanding, before he changes the subject. «I’ve got some time before I have to meet the others. Want to have your coffee with me?» he asks while pointing at one of the tables by the window.

«Sure», Isak says. He steps closer to the counter to place his order, when he feels Jonas’s hand on his arm.

«I’ve got this, okay?»

“Uh, okay”. It comes out with a stutter as Isak’s mind is too preoccupied to process the feeling of Jonas’s hand on him. When Jonas looks at him with a curious expression, he manages to gather his thoughts and opens his mouth to let Jonas know his coffee order. But Jonas only nods in the direction of the table he was pointing at only seconds earlier.

«I know your coffee order, Isak», he says feigning insult, but unable to hide his amusement. «Go sit down.»

Isak can’t help the small smile that spreads across his face and does as he’s told. He sits down and looks outside through the window until Jonas places a cup and a small paper bag on the table in front of him. The cup looks like it contains his usual order, a cortado, but he has no idea what’s in the paper bag or why. He holds it up and looks at Jonas questionably. Jonas just smiles and shrugs.

«Biscotti. For Even. That’s what you usually get him, right?»

«Yeah?» Isak says, not sure if he understands what Jonas is saying.

«Whenever you buy coffee at this place and Even isn’t with you, you buy biscotti to give to him when you see him again.» Jonas explains it like it’s a totally normal thing do to, which Isak _knows_ it isn’t.

«Yeah, but you didn’t have to…», he starts, but gets interrupted.

«I know. Just wanted to be nice. No big deal.» Jonas smiles at him softly.

Isak doesn’t know what to say, a little amazed both that Jonas has noticed Isak buying biscotti for Even on previous occasions and by the effort Jonas is making. Jonas has always been a nice guy, always looked out for Isak, ever since they were kids. The same way Isak has been there for Jonas, like when his grandfather, with whom he was really close, passed away when Jonas was fourteen, or when his relationship with Eva ended, which really took a toll on Jonas, or when his parents got a divorce, which fucked with Jonas’s mind since his parents up to that point always had been _the_ prime example of two people falling in love and staying in love through all the ups and downs life throws at you.

Even though Jonas is a nice guy, doing small gestures like this has never been one of his trademarks. Isak doesn’t want to read too much into it though. So, he just takes a sip from his cortado, and he watches Jonas do the same.

When they’ve both put their cups back down, they stare at each other, both clearly overcome by seriousness. Isak thinks that the reality of what happened was bound to get to them sooner or later. He also thinks that he would rather have it happen later rather than sooner. He’s not sure he want to deal with it, but at the same time he aches for knowing how Jonas really feels, to see his face when he tells him. He feels the nervousness bubble up inside him and scratches the back of his head with his right hand while looking down at the table.

«Uh.» He thinks it’s the most Neanderthal sound he has ever made in his entire life, but he can’t do anything about that now.

«Yeah», Jonas says, a small giggle barely noticeable in his voice.

Isak looks at him, at the calm grey-green eyes that stare back at him. Where he thought he would see awkwardness or embarrassment, he sees softness and kindness. It’s easy to reciprocate. So easy, because everything is always easy when it comes to Jonas. Besides, he doesn’t want Jonas to read anything other than positive emotions from Isak’s face. Isak figures that Jonas needs the assurance as much as he does. The last thing Isak wants, is for Jonas to think that Isak isn’t comfortable with what happened, especially when it was more than okay.

“Did you mean what you said in your text? No regrets?” Isak asks hesitantly, needing to make sure that they really are alright.

“Yes”, Jonas says and reaches out and squeezes Isak’s arm lying on the table between them. Without thinking about it, Isak puts his other hand on top of Jonas’s and squeezes back, a small smile tugging at his lips as he carefully looks over at his best friend, who is smiling back at him. Something settles within Isak. He knows that they are okay now.

The conversation is easier after that. Jonas tells him about his upcoming exams in Middle East studies. He’s also taking a master’s degree, in Asia and Middle East studies, and has, like Isak, one year to go if he passes all of his upcoming exams. Isak tells him about his own exams and how he really needs to spend more time in the lab before he thinks he will be ready to take his exams.

Before they get up and leave, Jonas invites Isak and Even to come along to a party hosted by one of his fellow students on Friday. Isak accepts, reckoning it will be the last chance to party for the next couple of weeks, as he’s probably going to be spending every awake second studying until he can finally welcome summer break.

Once they are on the pavement outside the coffee shop, about to walk in opposite directions, Jonas sticks out his hand to initiate the regular hand shake they always do when greeting or parting. Somehow, they never stopped doing it, even after they started uni. Isak doesn’t know what comes over him, but when their hands meet, instead of immediately pulling back like they usually do, Isak grabs onto Jonas hand and pulls him closer. He sees the pleasantly surprised expression on Jonas’s face as Isak wraps his free arm around his shoulder and pulls him into a hug. Isak feels Jonas’s curls tickle his cheek and he resists the impulse to run his fingers through them. He can stop himself from breathing in Jonas’s smell though, and lets out a barely audible sigh when he feels Jonas arms wrap around his back.

They stay like that for a while longer than what’s probably appropriate, before they slowly pull back and look at each other. Green eyes look down at grey-green eyes. Grey-green eyes look up at green eyes. It’s like the world stops and Isak feels a spark ignite a small flame of hope inside him. Up until now he has been successful at pushing down the bubble of hope threatening to break the surface, but this time he’s isn’t. He doesn’t want to. So, he lets himself bask in the feeling, if only for a couple of seconds before he pulls away from Jonas completely. It leaves him with a lingering feeling of want inside his chest.

-_-

Another Friday. Another party. The music is thumbing. The apartment is filled with people. The scene looks familiar, Isak thinks, but yet something _feels_ different. He can’t put his finger on what it is though. He has had a couple of beers, but tonight it doesn’t seem like he can get a buzz going.

He watches Magnus and Mahdi on the other side of the living room chatting with a couple of girls. Nothing unusual there. Isak can literally hear the conversation between them play out, the guys trying to impress the girls and the girls chuckling at their efforts. God is he glad he’s in a relationship with the man of his dreams and doesn’t have to spend every Friday trying to impress some random guy to get him to come back home with him.

His eyes scan the room until he finds Even making his way over to him. The last time Isak saw him, he left him to go to the kitchen to get a glass of water, but now Even is returning without anything in his hands. He asks Even about it, but Even only reaches for his hand, grins knowingly (about what, Isak doesn’t now) and tugs him along. Even makes them swing by the kitchen, where he finds Jonas standing with a group of people Isak has never seen before, engaged in some sort of discussion. He breaks out of the group when he sees Even gesturing at him to come over. Isak watches Even lean down and whisper something in Jonas’s ear, at which Jonas grins and nods. Even then turns around and tells Isak hastily that they are going outside before he tugs him along again. He notices that Jonas follows them.

Even leads them outside on a small balcony facing the backyard of the apartment building. Isak is about to ask what’s going on when Even pulls out a joint. Isak looks at him. They haven’t smoked the last couple of years. They stopped after Even had a couple of bad episodes which his therapist thought was caused partly due to the smoking. Even has been doing better since, and Isak figured he should quit too. He has missed smoking on occasions, like when the pressure to perform at Uni gets to him. He knows Jonas smokes on occasion, but he has cut back significantly too.

“It been a long time since we smoked”, he says directed at Even.

“I know. And I don’t want to start up again or anything, but I met our old dealer in the hallway, and he said he had some nice shit, and I could really use something to take the edge of, you know with work and everything.”

Isak thinks about it, looks at Jonas who looks expectantly at him, before he shrugs and nods. He reckons one joint, shared by the three of them, won’t hurt.

Just as Even is about to light up, Isak feels his phone vibrate in his pocket, only to find out that it’s Eva calling him. He shows Jonas the screen. “Eva?”

Jonas shrugs, and Isak answers the call. The music coming from the apartment is loud and to be able to hear better, Isak turns away from the guys and presses his index finger against the opening of his other ear to block out the music a little. He hears Eva asking about the party and if he thinks it’s any good. She still hasn’t chosen if she wants to go the party where Isak is or some party on the other side of the city and wants to get a feel of which one will be worth attending.

He answers all of her questions before he hangs up and turns back around, where he finds Even with the lit joint between his fingers and his other arm wrapped around Jonas’s shoulder. Jonas is leaning into Even, and Isak can hear them talking and laughing at each other. It looks intimate, and suddenly Isak can’t deal. He feels his chest tighten and a heavy sensation in his gut. His feet feel clued to the floor, and all he can hear is Jonas laugh tumbling out between his lips at something Even is saying. He watches Even’s eyes crinkle when he laughs back at something Jonas says in response. He watches how Jonas leans in even closer. He watches how Even’s fingers wraps around Jonas upper arm and squeezes. He watches how they only seem to be _noticing_ each other.

He doesn’t know how long he has been standing there staring at his boyfriend and his best friend, when Even’s voice catches his attention.

“Isak?”

Isak sees the frown on Even’s face, and Isak wonders how long Even has been trying to get his attention.

Even is standing a bit straighter now. His arm is still wrapped around Jonas, but they aren’t as close as before. Isak doesn’t say anything. Even saying his name has somehow pulled him out from the hole he was in and his feet obey him when he makes a move towards the door between the apartment and the balcony. He doesn’t look at Jonas before he leaves.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens after Isak leaves the balcony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to nofeartina for letting me yell at her about this fic in general and this chapter especially. And thank you for letting me know your thoughts on it as well. <3
> 
> Please mind the tags. I've added some new ones.
> 
> Thank you so much for your kudos and comments. They really are what keeps me going with this little fic of mine.

He hears Even call out his name, but he can’t stop. He can’t go back. He pushes passed people, finds the front door and exits the apartment, leaving the noise from the party behind. He runs down the stairs, skipping every other step, and is down on the street before he even knows it. He doesn’t hesitate, but starts walking. He has barely walked a couple of meters when he feels a large hand grab onto his arm. He stops in his tracks. He knows immediately who it is.

“Isak”, he hears Even say softly.

“I want to go home”, Isak says, aware that he almost sounds like a child. He almost flinches at the realization, but isn’t able to look at Even. He thinks he is angry. Or maybe embarrassed. Or maybe both.

“Okay. Can I come with you?”

Isak can’t tell by Even’s voice how he’s feeling, so he just shrugs. He doesn’t know how to deal with this, so he doesn’t say anything, just starts walking. He senses Even walking beside him and shoves his hands in his jeans pockets.

Their apartment is a 30-minute walk away, but he doesn’t feel like taking the tram home. He needs an outlet somehow and walking seems like the way to do it. He lets his feet drum against the pavement as he walks fast in the direction of their apartment, only stopping when the traffic makes them wait until they can cross the streets. Even stays by his side every step of the way, but he doesn’t say anything. When Isak glances over at him, he can see a small frown on his face. Even has one hand, the one the farthest away from Isak, in his jacket pocket, the other one dangling next to his body. Isak wants to grab it, but somehow he doesn’t dare to.

The closer they get to the apartment, the more Isak calms down, and when they’re only a couple of blocks away, he’s starting to feel stupid. He knows he overreacted. And he knows that he doesn’t want to end the night being upset or with Even being upset. He stops and turns towards Even, who immediately steps closer to Isak, still without saying a word.

“I’m sorry”, Isak sighs. “I got jealous.”

Even sighs quietly, not like he’s annoyed, but more like he’s concerned.

“Who were you jealous of?”

Isak pauses, closes his eyes and lets his emotions answer for him. “Both of you.”

 “Why?” Even inquires and takes a step closer to Isak.

Isak pulls back a bit, needing some space to think. Even doesn’t push it, just stands there, waiting for Isak’s reply.

Isak takes some time to contemplate how to answer, how honest he should be. But in the end, this is Even. He has always been honest with Even, could always talk to him about what is going on inside his mind, and Even has never judged him for it. They’ve been together since high school, have become adults together. They know everything about one another.

“I don’t know. Watching the two of you standing close, talking and laughing… It… I… I don’t know. It freaked me out a little.” He pauses and takes a deep breath before he goes on. “I thought we were all going to be friends after and now I’m having these feelings and it just confuses the shit out of me. I don’t know what’s going on. I… I wasn’t expecting to see you two together like that.”

 “Shit, Isak… I didn’t mean to put you in that position. If that made you feel uncomfortable… I’m sorry. If you just want to stay friends with Jonas, that’s fine of course. I just thought that you maybe wanted to explore this _thing_ with Jonas further. I should have talked to you about it, before doing anything.”

Isak doesn’t say anything. He isn’t quite sure what his feelings towards Jonas are exactly, but his instincts tell him that they aren’t something he should delve into. He is with Even, wants to be faithful to him. But what he is feeling towards Jonas makes him feel conflicted, it’s like he can’t stay away.

But seeing Even and Jonas together tonight wasn’t something he was prepared for. Seeing his boyfriend standing together like that with another guy, it makes his stomach turn. He doesn’t want to lose Even and if getting involved with Jonas in any way means losing Even, then that’s out of the question.

The revelation hits him like a punch in the gut and he surges forward, grabs onto Even’s jacket and pulls him closer. He presses his lips against Even’s. It’s anything but sweet. It’s rough and almost painful how their lips are pressed together, but he can’t help it. He needs to feel Even’s lips on his own, needs to know that Even is his. He feels Even pulling back and he hears how he’s trying to protest, his lips moving against his own, like he’s trying to say something. But Isak doesn’t let him, just continues to kiss him. He feels Even’s hands push at his hips and in the end he reluctantly lets Even push some distance between them, even though he doesn’t want to. Even doesn’t pull away entirely though, just enough so that their lips aren’t pressed against each other. Their faces are still close, and Isak can feel Even breathing hard against his lips.

“Isak…”

“Please”, Isak pleads. “I want… I need…” He doesn’t know how to finish that sentence, how to express what he is feeling. He just knows that he wants to kiss Even, needs to kiss him. He grabs at Evens neck and pulls him closer again, diving in again, and this time Even doesn’t protest. He feels Even’s lips move against his own more willingly. Feeling encouraged, he opens his mouth and pushes his tongue inside Even’s mouth, wanting to taste him, to claim him. He hears Even let out a small whimper when Isak licks into his mouth, lets his tongue run along his tongue and teeth, explore the roof of Even’s mouth. Isak pulls back a little, but only to bite down at Even’s bottom lip before he licks at it with his tongue to soothe the sting.

“Let’s go home”, he says and starts pulling at Even’s jacket, unable to look him in the eye, afraid of what he might see there if he does.

Even follows him, though. His long legs let him catch up with Isak easily, and they walk fast towards their apartment. Isak has let go of Even’s jacket and is now holding on to his hand tightly.

Isak has his key ready when they reach their apartment building. He pushes through the front door and heads for the stairs, pulling Even along.

He’s quick when it comes to opening the front door of their apartment too. He rushes through the door, gets rid of his jacket and kicks his shoes off. He sees that Even is looking at him, a wary expression on his face, like he isn’t sure what’s going on with Isak. But soothing Even isn’t at the front of Isak’s mind right now. He moves towards him and immediately starts to pull at Even’s jacket when he’s close enough to reach it. At first Even is just standing there, like he’s unsure of what to do, but when Isak can’t seem to get the jacket passed Even’s elbows, he seemingly snaps out of it and starts helping. At the same time, he is kicking off his shoes and they land on the floor in the hallway just outside the entrance to the living room.

When Isak starts pulling at Even’s shirt, he hears Even start to protest again.

“Isak, are you sure you want to do this right now? You don’t seem...”

“What? I don’t seem what?” Isak yells out. “Even I need you right now. Please don’t…”

He leans in to kiss him again. He feels desperate. If Even refuses him now he isn’t sure if he can handle it. If Even refuses him now, after standing so close to Jonas on that balcony, after almost cuddling Jonas in front of him, Isak will be devastated.

But Even seems to understand. He puts his arms around Isak’s waist and squeezes, before he leans down to kiss him. Isak doesn’t hesitate and reciprocates immediately. He hears himself whimper against Even’s lips and lifts both his hands to grab onto Even’s hair.

“Bedroom”, he pants against Even’s mouth. Even doesn’t reply, just starts walking backwards, pulling Isak with him by his waist. They have to walk through the living room to get to their bedroom, and Isak almost stumbles over Even’s shoes lying there like a trap on the floor. Even’s hands are holding him steady though, and Isak continues to move forward with Even’s hands tugging at him.

When they reach their bedroom, clothes are easily discarded. Isak pulls at Even’s shirt, and as soon as that’s gone, he starts to work on Evens jeans. He opens the button and zipper and pushes the jeans down, all the way down to the floor. He helps Even step out of them. On his way up, he gets rid of his own shirt, throwing it on the other side of the room. Even is reaching for the button of Isak’s jeans, but Isak only pushes his hands away, to impatient to wait for Even to undress him. He does the unbuttoning himself and pulls at the fabric¨, stepping out of his jeans more quickly than he has ever stepped out of a pair of jeans before.

They’re both in their boxer briefs now. Isak pushes Even towards the bed and down onto the mattress. He climbs on top of him, each knee on either side of Even’s hips. He leans down to bite at Even’s jaw and neck, before he moves up to his ear and licks at it while panting hot air against it. He feels Even shiver underneath him.

“Want you so bad, Even. Need you. Want to make you mine.”

Even lets out a distressed sound and turns his head towards Isak. He reaches out and runs his fingers across Isak’s face.

“I’m here. I’m yours. I’m not going anywhere.”

Isak surges forward at that and kisses Even hot and needy, but he doesn’t care. This is what he needs. He needs to know that Even wants him and that Even will let him take him.

He is further spurred on when he feels Even’s hands run down his back and slip underneath the waistband of his boxer briefs to cup his ass cheeks. He presses down in response and grinds their clothed dicks together. It elicits a moan from them both, and they work together to remove each other’s underwear.

When the underwear has been dropped to the floor, Isak is about to lie down on top of his boyfriend, but pauses to look at Even first. Even’s eyes are blown wide open and he is looking expectantly up at Isak. He feels a wave of relief flow through his body. After his reaction earlier tonight, it isn’t a given that Even wants to be with him like this, when Isak is pouring all of his insecurities and neediness over him. Isak is a little embarrassed about it, but the urgency to be with Even pushes the feeling aside, and he moves forward and slots himself between Even’s legs. He can feel Even’s dick against his own and rolls his hips to get some friction between them. He closes his eyes at the sensation, feeling the pleasure overwhelm him a little. Even grabs the back of his head and pulls him down so that their foreheads are pressing against each other. They stay like that for a while, their breaths mixing in the space between them. Isak start to roll his hips slowly, chasing the sweet sensation of Even’s dick rubbing against his own.

He can’t go slow like that for long though. He feels overcome by eagerness again and seeks out Even lips with his own, before he moves on to trace his jaw and neck with his tongue. He pushes Even’s head to the side to get better access to bite down at Even’s neck. Even lets out a disgruntled sound at that, and Isak leaves a sweet kiss at the spot to make it up to him. “I’m sorry”, he whispers, before he travels down Even’s body, only leaving a couple of kisses along his chest and stomach, not interested in prolonging this any further.

He doesn’t stop when he feels Even’s dick against his chin, only pushes further down until his nose is aligned with Even’s balls. He runs his tongue over them, playing with them carefully. He hears a content sigh from Even, but that isn’t what he is going for. He wants to make Even fall apart.

In his determination, he sticks his tongue out and licks a broad stripe up Even’s dick before he swallows him down. The moans that escape Even’s mouth while Isak works on him are considerably louder now, and Isak’s confidence gets a boost. He lets go of Even’s dick and leans over to the night stand and fishes out the lube from the top drawer. He pops the lid and tilts the bottle, ready to pour some of the liquid over his fingers, while he looks over at Even, a silent question to proceed with his intentions. Even nods in return and spreads his legs. Isak takes a breath, drizzles lube over his fingers and lies down next to Even, his stomach pressed against Even’s side. He reaches down and finds Even’s rim and presses a finger inside while simultaneously licking and kissing Even’s lips. He wants Even to feel him everywhere. Wants to claim him, make Even drown in him.

Even moans softly against Isak’s lips, but before long, as Isak adds another finger, then another, Even is panting and moaning, clearly lost in the sensation. Isak looks down and sees Even’s dick against his stomach, red and hard and leaking precome. Isak can’t resist, but scoots down to taste it with his tongue. The salty, slightly bitter taste spreads across the back of his tongue and he loves it. He continues to lap at the head of Even’s dick to clean him up entirely, before he proceeds with his fingers inside of Even, searching for that spot that he from experience knows will make him leak more. He finds it and starts rubbing at it with intent. Even looks like he is about to lose it. His head is thrown back against the pillow, his mouth slack and eyes shut closed. His back is slightly arched and Isak can imagine how the muscles in his back are strained from the position his body is in. Isak feels proud. Proud that he gets to do this, make Even fall apart like this underneath him.

He watches in satisfaction when small beads of precome again start to escape the tip of Even’s dick.

“Yes, Even. Do you like that? Do you like my fingers inside of you like this?” he groans as he continues to rub at Evens prostate at a steady rhythm.

The praise pulls a moan out of Even in return, who’s seemingly not able to form words. Isak can’t help but wrap his lips around Evens length, pushing down as far as he can go and licking at the head every time he pulls back. Beads of precome are leaking from Even steadily now, and Isak gathers them with his tongue, reveling in the taste. He knows that Even loves getting blown when Isak is prepping him open with his fingers.

He reluctantly lets go of Even’s dick when he feels Even tugging at his hair. He sits up only to get pushed down again by a flustered Even, who is now hovering over him.

“Fuck, Isak. Your mouth, your fingers… You don’t know what you do to me.” Even kisses him hard on the mouth. “Let me return the favour.”

“No”, Isaks splutters, trying to push Even off him. Even resists though, and even though Isak knows he can push Even off, he doesn’t want to use force. He hesitantly lies back down with Even on top off him, searching Isak’s face with his eyes.

“Even, I need this to be about me taking care of you. Let me do this.” He tries not to make it sound like he’s pleading, but he isn’t sure he’s successful because Isak can hear the desperation in his own voice. And he supposes Even can hear it too, because he tilts his head with a small frown on his face, his eyes still roaming over Isak’s face.

“Come on, Even. I just want to make you feel good”, Isak pushes, stretching his neck to kiss Even. Even lets him kiss him, and Isak uses the momentum to flip Even around so that he is once again on his back. Now it’s Isak who is hovering over Even. He lets his eyes take in the sight of Even underneath him, looking up at him with pupils blow wide and hair a complete mess from Isak’s hands and rutting his head against the pillows. He is gorgeous.

Isak pulls back to search for the lube, but Even beats him to it, finding it on the other side of the bed from where Isak is looking.

“Here, let me”, he says as he drizzles lube into the palm of his hand and reaches down to slick Isak up. Isak can’t help but moan at the sensation, suddenly aware of how he has been neglecting his own dick while taking care of Even. He sees a smirk on Even’s face as he continues pumping Isak’s dick, and Isak lets him. He lets him because when it comes to it, he can’t deny Even the satisfaction of returning the favor just a little bit, especially when it feels this good. He doesn’t let Even go on for too long though, still intent to finish what he’s started.

He gently pushes Even’s hand aside, leans in to kiss him, before he positions himself between Even’s legs. Even spreads his legs and pulls his knees slightly upwards to give Isak space. Isak lets out a small whine at the sight. He quickly checks if Even’s lose enough, before he lines his dick against Evens rim. He tilts his body a little to the side, all while grabbing onto Even’s opposite knee to push it up and to the side to get better leverage. In an even motion he pushes inside, until he is completely buried inside of Even.

At this point, Isak usually pauses to make sure that Even is okay, put the expression om Even’s face and the moans he suppresses while biting onto his forearm tell Isak that there’s no need to be careful. So, he starts slamming into Even immediately. It’s rough and fast and Isak can feel Even’s walls flutter around him. He feels grateful for not letting Even blow him before, thinking that he wouldn’t be able to fuck Even for long with suck a prior stimulation.

He uses the first few thrusts to locate Even’s prostate. They’ve done this so many times by now, it’s just about finding the exact angle. He finds it easily and from there on out he concentrates on hitting it on every single thrust. Even is a panting and moaning mess underneath him, and Isak revels in the sight of him, revels in the feeling of getting to claim the man he loves. He reaches out for Even’s hand and intertwines their fingers, before he pushes their joint hands into the mattress next to Even’s head. He leans down and pushes his tongue inside Even’s mouth before he starts to slam into Even harder and faster. Even is unable to reciprocate the kiss at this point, his lips moving out of sync against Isak’s own. Pleased by how affected Even seems, Isak keeps up the pace, intent to give Even the most pleasure he can.

When he feels Even clench around him, a sure tell that he is getting close, Isak wraps his free hand around Even’s dick and starts stroking it in rhythm of his thrusts.

“Babe, come for me”, he pants. He might be emphasizing the last word a little too much, but hopes is doesn’t come off to strong.

Even doesn’t seem put off by it, though, because it only takes a couple more determined tugs before Even clenches down hard, moans and comes. Isak manages to bend his head so that he can see the come shoot between them. He’s always had a thing for watching Even’s come pump out of him when Isak is fucking him into orgasm. The sight has on more than one occasion triggered Isak’s own orgasm, but this time he manages to fuck Even through his orgasm without coming. He keeps fucking into him until Even is spent and almost starts to whimper at the overstimulation. Then, he pulls out, and with quick, determined movements he starts to jerk himself off. He looks at Even, who is staring back at him, and strokes and strokes until he comes hard over Even’s stomach and chest, his own come mixing with Even’s. He can’t help but feel appreciative, almost proud of the sight.

He sinks into himself when he’s finished, using one hand to steady himself on the mattress, momentarily exhausted from his efforts. He feels Even’s hand wrap around his wrist and squeeze, and when he is able to straighten his back again he looks over at him and sees his boyfriend with a small smirk on his lips.

“You okay, babe?”

“Yeah , yeah”, Isak smiles back at him. “Let me just grab some paper and clean you up.”

He gets up and walks to the bathroom and returns with some Kleenex and a moist wash cloth. It stirs something inside him when he cleans Even up, an almost tender feeling from taking care of Even like this. The feeling is a sharp contrast to his previous emotions only minutes before. He returns to the bathroom to rinse out the wash cloth and hang it up to dry on the edge of the laundry basket. He hates how disgusting it is when it’s just discarded on the bed room floor when they are done with it.

When he gets back to their bedroom, he finds Even in bed, on his back under the duvet. Isak climbs into bed and settles on his side next to him, his head slightly elevated so that he looks down at Even. He leans down to kiss him, and Even pushes himself up to meet him on halfway. He feels Even’s hand grab him by the neck to hold him close as he kisses Isak softly, but with intent. Isak closes his eyes and feels his body relax and allows himself to revel in the fondness he feels towards his boyfriend, the same fondness he feels radiating from Even. He can’t believe how fucking lucky he is that Even is his, that Even always just seems to understand what Isak needs. Isak wants to be that person to Even too, hopes he is that person to Even.

When they break the kiss, Even clears his throat.

“So, that was a little intense…?”

Isak closes his eyes.

“Yeah.”

“You know I want to be with you right? I mean, what happened tonight has made me think that I haven’t been clear about that. Even the thought of maybe leaving you is non-existent in my mind. We’re staying together, whether we’re hooking up with Jonas again or not.”

Isak rubs his forehead and nods. He didn’t think that Even was considering leaving him, not really, but hearing Even say it out loud settles something inside him. He feels sure about Even now. When it comes to Jonas, he isn’t sure at all.

“Okay. Thank you for saying that. I love you.” He seals his words with a kiss, unable to not reciprocate Even’s smile when he feels it against his lips. “I guess I have to talk to Jonas, though, and…, uh, maybe apologize for tonight.”

“Yeah, talking might be a good idea. But I don’t think he is mad though, probably just a bit confused?”

Isak only hums at that, before he settles down with his head against Even’s chest, his arm slung over Even’s waist. It isn’t a conversation he is looking forward to. Not because he’s nervous to talk to Jonas, but because he doesn’t know what to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm himmelskys on tumblr.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonas comes over to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you for all the kudos and comments! I didn't think that this little throuple fic would catch peoples attention. I just wanted to play around with the idea of the boys being poly, hoping that maybe someone out there wanted to read.
> 
> I'm sorry this update is a little late, but I, ahem, got busy writing [11k worth of Norwegian smut](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12519864) with my filthy friend [Immy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imminentinertia/pseuds/imminentinertia). Now that this detour is out of the way, I hope to be updating a bit more frequently.

Isak is pacing back and forth across the living room floor. The moisture in the palm of his hand was making it hard to hold on to his phone and kept making it almost slip through his fingers. In result, he is holding on to it so tightly that, if he was aware he was doing it, he would be concerned that the screen might crack. Shit, he can’t remember the last time he felt this nervous. It must be the first time he met Evens parents or something, and that was _years_ ago.

He walks over to the living room window facing the street. He looks the three stories down, onto the street and pavement below. It’s Sunday afternoon and the street is empty. The rain pouring down is most likely making people stay inside. He looks down at his phone for the millionth time, watches his fingers slowly loosen their grip and open the message app. He opens his conversation with Jonas and reads the two messages one more time. The first message is from him asking Jonas if he wants to come over at 6 p.m. to talk, the other Jonas’s short ‘yes’, and that’s it.

He knows he has to give Jonas some sort of explanation about Friday. He wants to apologize, to explain what happened. He spent entire Saturday debating with himself if he should reach out to him or not, but couldn’t settle on if or how to do it, afraid that Jonas is upset with him. It kept gnawing at his insides the whole day, during lunch, during his study session, during dinner, during the late-night stroll Even insisted they take.

Even is good at that, at sensing Isak’s moods and emotions, knows when Isak needs the distraction and provides it without being pushy, without making a big deal about it. And Isak is so fucking grateful for that. Because if someone were to push him, push him about how he is feeling and thinking right now, he isn’t sure how he would handle it.

When he woke up on Sunday, his mind and emotions were still all over the place, and he knew he had to just take the plunge, had to deal with it. Or else it would eat at his insides until he couldn’t take it anymore. And when he had carefully asked Even about his opinion during breakfast, Even had only leaned towards him, put his hand on Isak’s upper arm and told him that he thought it would be a good idea to invite Jonas over. Isak had spent _five more hours_ thinking about it, had tried to get some studying done, because those god damned exams are coming up, only to realise that he couldn’t spend another second just sitting around thinking about it.

So, here he is, standing by the window, a nervous wreck looking down at his phone, waiting. His phone tells him it’s 5.45 p.m., and he knows, logically, that 1) Jonas won’t appear any faster just because Isak is pacing back and forth across the living room floor or standing by the window looking for him and 2) that Jonas, the laid-back guy he is, is never early, which makes waiting for him before the agreed time is just _plain stupid_.

Even, who is sitting with his sketch book on their couch, has been glancing up at him from time to time, but not making a single comment about Isak’s behaviour. After Even started working at that advertising agency, where he mostly makes computer made designs, he’s started to treasure the times he gets to sketch on paper. And with the added pressure he has been experiencing at work lately, Isak has been concerned about him and he knows Even needs the distraction and calmness that sketching gives him. So, Isak has been careful not to disturb him, even though his pacing across the living room floor surely must have been annoying. Even is probably too gracious to say anything about it.

The last time they spoke was about an hour ago, when Even asked if Isak wanted him to leave the apartment when Jonas came over. The idea didn’t settle well with Isak. First of all, it would feel like he was kicking Even out of their apartment, and that’s just not an option. Secondly, he thinks he needs Even nearby for this. They have agreed that Isak and Jonas should talk in the living room, while Even stays in the kitchen.

When the sound of the down stairs doorbell chimes through the apartment, Isak realises he must have been so preoccupied with his thoughts that he missed Jonas approaching their apartment building from the window. He instantly feels his heart beating faster in his chest and there’s a surging feeling in his stomach. He glances over at Even, who smiles at him encouragingly, swallows hard and starts walking towards the front door.

The walk seems endless. And it feels like it takes him forever to push the button that opens the down stairs front door to let Jonas in. He doesn’t even consider picking up the receiver to check that it actually is Jonas down stairs. He wants to postpone the knowledge that it’s actually him for as long as possible, like he’s hoping to avoid having to meet him, even though he knows it is inevitable. They have to meet at some point. But he’s nervous about what will come out this, and he find himself regretting inviting Jonas over. God, he is so torn, wants it over with, but at the same time he doesn’t want to deal.

He jumps a little when he hears a firm knock on the front door to their apartment. It hits him that he doesn’t know if Jonas has climbed the three stories worth of stairs fast or slowly, just that that his mind has kept him busy and now Jonas is knocking on the door Isak is standing in front of.

He swallows again, watches his hand reach for the door handle and bring it down to open the door. He feels a little dumb founded when he realises that it’s locked, and he uses his other hand to unlock it, before he manages to open it. The door turns inwards, and he takes a step back when he sees Jonas on the other side, granting him a silent permission to enter. Jonas takes a couple of seconds before he moves, crosses the threshold, grabs onto the door and closes it behind him. His rain coat is dripping, leaving a small puddle of water in the hall way, and Isak can see raindrops in his hair, and he briefly wonders why Jonas hasn’t had the hood up.

Isak’s eyes roam across Jonas’s face, tries to figure out what state of mind he’s in. He can’t quite read him though, but he doesn’t look _angry_ , which is kind of Isak’s biggest fear. It makes Isak dare to let out a _hello_ , and it comes out almost like a whisper.

Jonas clears his throat and greets him back, his voice a little low, and Isak can tell from it that he too is unsure of the situation.

“Just take of your jacket and shoes, yeah? We can go sit down in the living room.” Isak isn’t sure how he finds the words, and it isn’t exactly the words most suitable to cut through the tension hanging thick in the air between them, but at least he manages to say _something._ And by this point he’ll take any communication at all, because the silence that has been between them since Friday has been unbearable.

Jonas discards his shoes and jacket fairly quickly and follows Isak into the living room. Even is standing in the middle of the floor, a somewhat hesitant expression on his face. But he greets Jonas kindly before he excuses himself and retreats to the kitchen. He squeezes Isak’s arm as he passes by, and Isak is forever thankful for the reassurance it provides. He gestures towards the couch to get Jonas to take a seat and sits down on the armchair Even inherited from his late grandfather.

He decides to dive right in, can’t take the suspense, can’t stand to put this off any longer.

“So, I didn’t want to do this over text or something.” He abruptly tilts his head to the side, deliberately causing the knuckles there to crack a little. It’s something he does when he’s nervous and he can’t seem to get rid of the habit.

He watches Jonas as he frowns, but doesn’t want to waste time apologizing, even though he knows Jonas hates the sound of knuckles cracking.

“I wanted you to come over to say that I’m sorry about Friday. It was shitty of me to just leave like that.”

Jonas stays quiet for a moment. Just looks at Isak.

“Why _did_ you leave?” he asks eventually.

Isak ponders about his answer, isn’t sure how honest he should be, if he should tell Jonas that he was _jealous_. He doesn’t want to freak Jonas out. He decides to go with semi-honesty.

“It just got to me, seeing you and Even standing so close like that on that balcony. I… It made me freak out a little.”

“Okay, why?”

Jonas sounds genuinely curious. That he doesn’t seem upset makes Isak feel a little at ease.

“I wasn’t sure how I should feel about it. I mean, we did agree that we should all continue to be friends after… you know…” Isak struggles with the words, but he isn’t a coward, never has been, and they did make a deliberate decision to sleep together, he should be able to fucking talk about it.

“…after we all slept together. I wasn’t expecting that, our friendship, to change.” The words are rushed, they leave his mouth without him thinking about it. He feels like he has said too much. He wants to retract them, but knows it’s too late.

“Has it changed?” Jonas asks carefully.

Isak feels his pulse speed up. _Shit_. If he is completely honest with Jonas now, it has the potential of being the down fall of their friendship. He doesn’t want that. He fears it.

Isak chickens out, doesn’t dare to answer truthfully.

“I don’t know. Has it?”

“Isak…”

“Fuck, I don’t want this to affect our friendship. I don’t want to lose you as a friend, Jonas.” His voice sounds pleading, but Isak doesn’t care. Jonas has been there since they were kids. He can’t lose his friendship over this.

“You won’t. Isak, have I done anything to give you the impression that I’m upset with you? Because I’m not.”

Jonas is leaning forward now, his elbows resting on his knees and his hands, palms facing up, stretched out towards Isak. His voice sounds sincere, but there is something in his voice and his eyes, like he is hesitant about something, and Isak can’t shake the feeling that Jonas isn’t telling him something.

“No, I guess you haven’t. But… but you’re sure we’re okay?” Isak can’t help but ask, must make sure.

“Yes,” Jonas says softly, leans even further towards him and grabs one of Isak’s hands. He holds it between his hands, and Isak feels the warmth from them spread through his own hand, up his arm and across his chest. He swallows and closes his eyes for a couple of seconds, allows himself to enjoy how nice it feels, until he remembers that they don’t usually do this, because they are _friends_. But he can’t help himself when he turns his hand in Jonas’s hands and squeezes one of them before he pulls back.

“So, still friends then?” he says, carefully looking at Jonas.

Jonas doesn’t say anything immediately, just watches Isak for a second or two, until he exhales. “Yeah, of course we’re friends, Isak.”

“Okay, good.” He smiles at Jonas, feels relief flood through his body. “Uhm, just let me check what Even is up to in the kitchen. He’s probably making snacks or something. Leave him alone in there for more than five minutes and he is bound to start making food.” He laughs a little as he says it, can’t help how the love he feels for Even coats his words.

Jonas just smiles at him and leans back onto the couch.

Isak gets up and finds Even in the kitchen, making cinnamon buns. He immediately drops everything when he sees Isak enter the kitchen.

“Hi, how did it go?”

“Good, I think. He isn’t mad or anything, so…” Isak says it in a low voice, not wanting Jonas to hear them, even though he reckons Jonas knows they are talking about him.

“Did you tell him?”

“Hmm?” Isak looks up at his boyfriend, a little unsure of what Even means exactly.

“Did you tell him how you feel?”

“Uh, no… or yes. I don’t know. I told him that I don’t want to lose our friendship, and he told me that I’m not going to. So, that’s kind of settled, I guess.”

“So, you didn’t tell him you have feelings for him?”

“No. Do you think I should? I told him that I don’t want our friendship to change.” Isak lowers his voice even further. “Me telling him I have feelings for him is guaranteed to affect our friendship.”

“Look, I can’t tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, Isak. That’s up to you. But you don’t know if that changes anything. And who knows, maybe that won’t be so bad.”

“What do you mean? Has he said anything to you?”

Even smiles a little. “No. I didn’t discuss this with him behind you back, baby.” Even steps closer and wraps his arm around Isak’s waist. “I would never do that.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“But… If you think about it, he did agree to sleep with you…”

“With _us_ ,” Isak corrects.

“With us…” Even continues and presses a small kiss on Isak’s cheek. “…and that didn’t happen on impulse, you know. It wasn’t a spur of the moment kind of thing. There was something between you guys months before that. How can you be sure that he doesn’t have feelings for you too?”

“I don’t know.” Isak hesitates. “I always reckoned that it was just something that he, well we, were curious about, something we needed to get out of our system.” He lowers his voice even further. The words come out almost as a whisper now. “I didn’t think I would fall for him. And he is straight, so I don’t think he feels the same.”

“Fuck straight,” Even huffs, making Isak laugh a little.

“Fuck straight? Seriously? I should just ignore my friend’s sexuality, confess my feelings and expect him to get on board with it?”

Isak can’t help but grin a little, but at the same time he’s serious. He hated it when people asked him questions about whether he really was gay when he first came out, or if it could be just a phase or whatever. He is so god damned gay, he couldn’t be any gayer. People should just fucking respect that.

“You know that’s not what I mean. Sexuality isn’t necessarily an absolute constant. It can evolve. A lot of people are attracted to one gender when they are young, only to find out that they also are attracted to the other gender when they get older. And Jonas is an open-minded guy. I totally see him as the kind of person who would want to explore those feelings if he were to have them. Don’t you?”

Isak suppresses the small hope that rises inside of him at Even’s words.

“Sure, I just don’t think he has such feelings. I think he is straight.”

Even looks at him, head tilted and eyebrows slightly drawn together, like he is contemplating how to respond.

“Okay, baby. If you say so,” he seems to settle with.

“I do,” Isak says and pushes himself up to press his lips against his boyfriend’s. “How long until these are done?” He gestures towards the kitchen counter.

“It’s at least going to be an hour, an hour and a half, since the dough has to rise.”

“Jonas!” Isak shouts towards the living room. “Even is making cinnamon buns. You’re staying, right?”

“Hell, yeah!” Jonas shouts back.

Isak can’t help but grin at that. “You finish up here and join us in the living room. I’m going to see if Jonas wants to watch some TV or something.” He kisses Even one more time before he heads back to join Jonas.

They watch TV in silence for a while, until Even joins them with freshly baked cinnamon buns and hot chocolate, effectively making them forget about the rainy evening outside.

Jonas and Isak make a competition out of who can eat the most buns, which Isak wins. Jonas has to call it quits by four and a half buns, while Isak manages five. He is nauseous as hell after, but still claims that he could have another, but that he doesn’t see the point in eating any more since he has already won. Jonas calls his bluff, which Isak conveniently ignores. Even just rolls his eyes at them, telling them that they are acting like children, which Isak secretly agrees with, but there is no chance in hell that he’ll admit that to Even, not when he can bask in the glow from winning a competition with Jonas. And to be honest, he is so grateful that he can still have this with Jonas, the goofing around and having fun, even after what has happened between them.

The food and hot chocolate make them a bit tired and a whole lot of lazy, and none of them have the willpower to do anything else but happily agree when Even suggests they watch a movie. Isak and Jonas should probably be studying for their exams, but it’s a Sunday night and Isak figures they could use one night of. Besides, he mostly feels up to date when it comes to his studying. He has read every text book three times, taken notes and gone through all the topics he thinks may be relevant for an exam with his study group. What he needs, is to spend more time in the lab, and the lab isn’t open on Sundays. He has booked the lab on Tuesday and Wednesday and is hoping that it’s enough time for him to go through all the different practical assignments they’ve had this semester. He knows them all in theory, but wants to do them again to double check that he understands them correctly. Hopefully that will give him the preparation he needs.

But for now, he relaxes into the couch as the movie starts playing in front of them. Even has his arm slung over his shoulder and Isak feels content as he snuggles closer to his boyfriend. Jonas glances over at them from his spot a couple of seats over, a small smile on his lips.

When Jonas excuses himself to take a bathroom break halfway through the movie, Isak takes the opportunity to steal some kisses from his boyfriend. He feels Even’s arms tighten their grip around his waist as Even pulls him into his lap. Isak sighs as he feels Even’s lips against his own, his tongue barely tickling the corner of Isak’s mouth. Kissing Even always feels so good. He is so engrossed in the kiss, he doesn’t notice it when Jonas re-enters the living room. He startles a little when he hears him clear his throat before he speaks.

“This looks cosy, guys.”

Isak pulls back from Even, but not until Even catches his face between his hands and kisses him one last time. He turns around to face Jonas just as he dumps down on the couch, right next to the spot where Isak was sitting until Even pulled him into his lap.

“Sorry,” Isak says as he, much to Even’s visible dismay, slides down from his boyfriend’s lap and relocates himself on the spot next to Jonas. “But you can’t hold us accountable for anything we do when you leave us alone like that.”

“Guess you’ve got a point,” Jonas snorts, triggering a laugh from Even.

Isak watches Jonas’s movements as he leans forward to grab the remote on the coffee table to un-pause the movie, watches how his shirt stretches across his back, revealing the contours of the muscles there, watches how the sleeve of his shirt rides up a bit and reveals his wrist. They aren’t as slender at Even’s, and Isak’s mind wanders, starts to think about how it would be to grab onto that wrist and pull Jonas close, to feel Jonas hands on him, to feel Jonas body under his own hands.

He can’t stop the sharp inhale of breath when he realizes where his mind is taking him. He avoids meeting Jonas’s eyes, who are looking at him curiously, and pretends to be shifting around to find a better position on the couch. Even gives him a questionable stare, but Isak only shakes his head in hope that Even will let it be. And he does, and Isak can try to focus on the movie, which is now rolling across the TV-screen.

Isak can’t seem to be able to focus on the movie, though. The thought of pulling Jonas closer, of doing more than just pulling him closer, runs through his mind repeatedly. And it doesn’t help that Jonas is sitting closer now, so close that Isak can feel Jonas’s thigh against his own, how his body heat is seeping through the fabric of Isak’s jeans, leaving a tingling sensation on his skin.

He fights an internal battle whether to move his thigh away from Jonas or to leave it right where it is. Before he can decide what to do, Jonas’s makes the decision for him and pushes his thigh even closer. They are touching all the way from their hips to their knees now. Isak swallows and keeps his eyes on the TV-screen, but it’s like his mind can’t comprehend what’s going on in front of him. He couldn’t care less about the movie right now.

He tries to fight the urge to look at Jonas, but has to give in. He wants so badly to see the expression on his face, to see if he can figure out what Jonas is thinking about them being in each other’s proximities like this. He slowly turns his head towards him, tries to be stealth about it, hoping that Jonas won’t notice.

Isak can’t really tell from Jonas’s facial expression what he is thinking. He isn’t paying attention to the movie, though. Isak follows the direction Jonas is looking in, and his eyes land on the two small flags hanging in the small space between the television and the door to their bed room. The pride flag and the pansexual flag.

Even had bought them when they, after only being together for a couple of months, first moved in together in high school, into the small one room apartment they barely could afford to rent. Even had put the flags up on the wall next to pictures of them together, some of his drawings and whatever else they felt like hanging up there, giving their small living space that personal touch that made the apartment feel like home to Isak. And later, when they moved to the bigger apartment they are living in now, they had hung the flags visibly in the living room. It still reminds Isak of the beginning of their relationship, how they had chosen to spend every day with each other. Now he reckons he will be spending the rest of his life with Even.

Isak’s eyes wander back to Jonas’s face, and this time Jonas meets his gaze. They look at each other for several seconds, and Isak can feel how Jonas’s gaze pierces through him, like he is searching for something. Feeling unsure, Isak’s eyes dart back and forth between the two small flags on the wall and Jonas’s face. Why was Jonas looking at them?

He feels Jonas move his upper body just a tad closer to him. Again, Isak considers moving away for half a second, but gives in to the small fluttering feeling of hope in his gut and subtly shifts closer to Jonas’s too. He feels his heart beating a little faster and he slides his hands down his thighs, unable to keep them still.

His stomach twists with anticipation when Jonas shifts in his spot and puts his arm up on the back rest of the couch, behind Isak’s shoulders. Isak’s eyes flutter shut as he feels Jonas’s fingers start to play with the hair in his neck. The sensation makes his spine tingle and he unconsciously lets out a sigh. He lets himself revel in how Jonas’s touch makes him feel, the movie and the space of the living room distant in his consciousness.

He feels his heart pounding in his chest and a warmth spreading through his entire body when Jonas leans in closer, his warm breath caressing Isak’s neck. He feels his body shudder before he turns towards Jonas, anticipation making his stomach flip.

The pressure of his lips against Jonas’s is tentative and soft. He lets out a small dissatisfied sound when Jonas pulls back a little and Isak is forced to look him in the eyes. The fondness he finds there makes it hard to breathe, but he doesn’t want to stop, wants to feel Jonas’s lips on his own again. So, he pushes forward, feeling content when Jonas meets him half way. The kiss is firmer, with more intent, and Isak can’t believe this is happening, that he is kissing Jonas and that Jonas wants to kiss him back. The thought hits him hard, and he can’t help the gasp that escapes him. He feels Jonas’s hand against his neck, and it grounds him, makes it a bit easier to breathe. He still feels a bit overwhelmed though, and it’s like Jonas senses it and pulls back for a second only to let his forehead rest against Isak’s.

“Isak…”

Isak can feel Jonas’s breath ghost across his face. He only manages to hum in response.

“Are you okay?” Jonas asks.

Isak nods. “Yeah. I’m more than okay.” It comes out a little raspy, and he clears his throat. “So, we’re friends, huh? I don’t think friends do that.”

Jonas giggles at that, and Isak can’t help the small laugh that escapes him, his body feeling lighter, like a burden had been lifted of him. This feels right.

Even has been sitting quiet next to them through it all, and Isak turns to him when the realization dawns on him. The first thought is that Even might be mad, but when he sees the expression on Even’s face, he knows he couldn’t be more wrong. He can’t believe how lucky he is to have such an understanding boyfriend. Even smiles at him and strokes his cheek with his thumb.

“That was beautiful,” Even says and kisses him. Isak snuggles against him, before he pulls Jonas closer and wraps his arm around Jonas’s shoulder. They sit like that for the rest of the movie; Isak pressed against Even’s side, his hand in between Even’s hands in Even’s lap, and Jonas with his head rested against Isak’s shoulder while Isak’s fingers plays with Jonas hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm [himmelskys](http://himmelskys.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even isn't feeling so well, but Isak can't take care of him. Jonas steps up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this update is so late.
> 
> Thank you to everyone giving kudos and commenting! I really appreciate it!
> 
> This chapter is Jonas POV.

«How is he?» Jonas asks.

He is watching Isak as he grabs his back pack from the living room floor, shoves several books into it, all while repeatedly pushing back the fringe of hair that keeps falling over his forehead. Isak needs a haircut, but Jonas figures now is not the time to mention it, as Isak seems to be having enough on his mind.

“He’s not good. He has a cold. Kept me up all night with this cough of his. I barely got any sleep. Every time I was about to fall asleep, his cough woke me up.”

Isak sounds tired and frustrated, and Jonas watches him as he rubs the back of his hands into his eyes and sighs.

“And now he’s lying in bed, not doing or saying anything. He just seems _down_. I don’t think it’s just the cold that is making him stay in bed. Fuck, I knew he shouldn’t be working so much. It isn’t good for him.”

“Do you think he’s about to have an episode?” Jonas feels bad for asking, doesn’t want to intrude. At the same time, he knows this is a part of who Even is and that Isak is used to dealing with it. He still hopes that Isak won’t be offended by the question.

Isak seems unaffected by it though, just starts walking around the living room, picking up his headphones, a charger and an open box of cookies into his back pack.

“I don’t think so. He’s usually manic before he falls into depression. I mean, it has happened a few times that he gets depressed without being manic first, but I don’t think that’s what’s going on. Sometimes he just gets down and needs a couple of days to take it easy and get his energy back.”

Isak puts his back pack on the living room table and sighs, again.

“Shit, I would’ve normally stayed whit him, but I _have_ to be at the lab…” Isak pulls out his phone and checks what time it is, “… in like 20 minutes. If I don’t get there on time, my reservation will get cancelled and there’s no way that some other student won’t take advantage of that. Exams are next week, and I didn’t get nearly as much done yesterday as I hoped I would. Why didn’t I book it Tuesday, Wednesday _and_ Thursday? I’m never going to be able to get everything done today.”

The last part comes out somewhat like a groan, his eyebrows furrowed, the frustration radiating of off him now. “And I’d totally stay with him myself if I could, but this is the last chance I got to use the lab before the exam. It’s been booked for _weeks_.”

“Isak…” Jonas takes a step closer, wants to reach out to him, hates to see Isak stressed out like this. Ever since Isak got together with Even, he has been so at ease with himself and how he leads his life. It does something to Jonas seeing Isak like this. He wants to do something, anything that will make Isak feel better.

“Go and do whatever you need to do. I’ll stay with him. I have to study, since my exam is on Monday, but I can do it here. I’ve got my books with me.”

Isak is about to head to the kitchen, but stops in his tracks and looks at Jonas. Without thinking about it, Jonas takes a step closer.

“Thanks, Jonas. I really appreciate it. I wouldn’t ask this of you unless it was absolutely necessary. It’s just that… I think his work load has been overwhelming him. He needs a break, and hopefully he just needs a couple of days of to find his energy back and get rid of that fucking cold of his. I just don’t want him to be alone right now. Fuck, the timing sucks.”

Isak’s concern for his boyfriend is so visible it makes Jonas gut feel heavy. He would do anything to make Isak stop feeling like he is right now.

He takes another step towards Isak, making them at an arm’s length from each other, a concerned look on his face as he speaks. “No worries. I’ll check up on him, make him some lunch and make sure he’s doing ok. I’ll stay until you get back.”

This is the first time they’ve seen each other since they kissed, on the couch, in the same living room they are currently standing in, and Jonas isn’t sure if he’s allowed to touch Isak, but he want to so badly. They haven’t talked about what happened, and even though Jonas thinks Isak might be feeling something for him, like he feels for Isak, he can’t be _sure_.

So, it takes him by complete surprise when he finds himself in Isak’s embrace.

“Thank you,” he hears Isak breathe into his hair, his arms wrapped around Jonas’s shoulders.

Jonas doesn’t hesitate, but wraps his arms around Isak’s waist and pulls him closer. Isak’s body doesn’t resist. He can’t stop himself from pressing his cheek against Isak’s neck and breathe in the smell of him. It smells like body wash and that distinct smell of _Isak_. If a soft sigh escapes him, he hopes that Isak doesn’t notice. He can’t be sure though, as Isak’s hold tightens around his shoulders.

They stay like that for a while, pressed against each other so tightly that Jonas thinks he can feel Isak’s heart beating against his chest.

When Isak pulls back, it’s just to press their foreheads together. Jonas can feel Isak’s breath against his own lips, but he doesn’t dare to look at Isak, has to close his eyes, afraid of what he might find if he looks his friend in the eyes.

Being so close to Isak, to feel his skin on his own, to sense his breath against his lips, makes the image of him and Isak sitting on the couch kissing flash before his eyes. He swallows, feels the growing want inside him to press his lips against Isak’s. But the feeling of insecurity dwells in the back of his mind. He thinks that Isak wants to. The kiss they shared had to mean something, but it gnaws at Jonas that he doesn’t _know_.

But still with the insecurity right there, in the back of his mind, he can’t bring himself to pull away, wants to stay like this, in Isak’s embrace, for as long as possible. If he can’t have anything more, than at least he wants this, wants to remember this.

He hears Isak hum softly in the back of his throat and opens his eyes to look at him. Isak’s eyes are looking straight into his own, and there’s a fondness there that sparks the hope inside of him, floods his chest and makes his throat tight.

“Isak,” he whispers and unconsciously moves the lower part of his face just a smidgeon closer to Isak’s face. It’s like he has no control over his body, like his body is operating on his own.

“Yeah…” The word leaves Isak’s mouth as nothing more than a breath.

He more senses than sees Isak swallowing.

“Take care of him for me, will you?” Isak’s voice almost sounds pained, and Jonas hates it.

“Of course,” Jonas says. “There’s nothing more I want than for him to be alright so that you don’t have to worry.”

Jonas contemplates saying something more, to utter how he wants to be there for Isak, for Even, for the both of them. But the words get stuck in the back of his throat. They are too scary to say out loud, like he will expose himself too much.

They stay like that for a while longer. Jonas doesn’t know for how long, doesn’t care. All that matters, is the feeling of Isak pressing against him, his breath mixing with Jonas’s own.

When Isak eventually pulls back, Jonas misses him instantly. He can feel it in his bones how much he wants to stay close to Isak.

Isak checks his phone, presumably to see what time it is, and curses under his breath.

“I have to go. I’m already way too late. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” Jonas swallows. “Will see each other later, yeah?”

“Yes, of course,” Isak says and pulls him into a quick hug, before he turns around and heads for the kitchen where he picks up his lunch. Back in the living room, he shoves it into his back pack, closes it and hoists it up and over his shoulder before he turns to look at Jonas.

“I have to go.”

“Okay.”

Jonas nods and watches Isak as he walks by him, into the hallway. Jonas follows and watches how he puts on his shoes. It’s not particularly cold outside, since it’s early summer, and the hoodie Isak is wearing will keep him warm enough, will probably be to hot later in the day.

Isak is standing in the middle of the hallway now, his hand on the door handle, ready to leave. He looks at Jonas, and Jonas can’t do anything but look back. He tries to keep his facial expression neutral, but suspects he isn’t very successful at it. It pains him that Isak has to leave. He’d rather have him stay, have him sit next to him in the living room, feel him close.

Isak clears his throat.

“Uh, don’t ask him how he’s feeling. He really hates that. Just… check up on him and make him some food even if he says he doesn’t want it. He’ll probably eat some of it anyway. And he likes rosehip tea, no sugar. I know, it’s gross, but he likes it. It has no caffeine, which is good, because he needs to cut back on his caffeine intake.” Isak sighs.

“Alright. I’ve got it.”

“And… just text me… let me know how he’s doing. I’ll have my phone on me.”

“Of course.”

“And, again… Thank you, Jonas.”

“Don’t mention it. It’s no trouble at all.”

Isak only nods at that, presses the door handle down, opens the door and leaves. Jonas can hear the soft click of the door closing. He stares at the closed door for almost a minute before he realizes what he’s doing.

He walks back into the living room, crosses the floor and heads towards the door of Isak and Even’s bedroom. He knocks softly. When he doesn’t get a reply, he slowly pushes the door open and peeks inside. The smell of bed room and menthol hits him instantly.

Even is lying on his side, facing the door. His eyes are closed, and it looks like he is sleeping. Jonas starts to close the door again, but startles when he hears Even’s voice, low and raspy from his cold.

“I’m awake.”

“Oh.”

Jonas pushes the door open and walks closer. The bedside table is filled with used tissues, cough medicine and some sort of ointment to rub at your chest to ease chest pain from having a cold. It’s probably what makes the room smell of menthol. Even shifts so that he’s lying on his back, his eyes still closed. Jonas hesitates for at bit, but decides to sit down onto the edge of the bed, right next to Even’s hip. Even moves a little to give him some more space, and Jonas moves so that he doesn’t have to sit uncomfortably on the edge. He can feel the touch of Even’s body against his own. They’re barely touching, but he wonders if he’s too close. Even doesn’t seem to mind though, or at least he doesn’t move away. Jonas stays put.

Jonas looks at him. Even doesn’t look good. His cheeks are hollow and his face looks pale, his skin almost grey. His hair looks greasy, like it hasn’t been washed in a couple of days.

He is about to ask how Even is feeling, but remembering what Isak said, he manages to stop the words before they leave his mouth.

“Do you want something to eat or drink?” he asks instead.

Jonas can tell Even is about to give a reply, but he starts coughing instead. He coughs and coughs, and Jonas can hear how deep the cough is, and it sounds _painful_. It _looks_ painful too, because Jonas can see how Even’s face scrunches and his eyebrows furrow. It makes him uncomfortable seeing Even like this. Even is usually so happy, always beaming, at least as far Jonas knows. Then again, he knows that sometimes Even isn’t doing so good, but Jonas hasn’t really been around him when that happens. He isn’t quite sure what to expect.

“Come here,” he says and pulls at Even’s shoulder. “Lie on your side. It’ll help with your cough.”

Even does as he’s told and rolls over onto his side, facing Jonas. He doesn’t stop coughing immediately, but the coughing becomes a little bit shallower. Jonas grabs a glass of water from the bedside table and offers it to Even. He helps him into a more upright position so that Even can take a couple of sips, before he crashes down onto the pillow again. The cough eases after that, but it doesn’t stop entirely.

“Can I get you anything? Something to eat?” Jonas asks.

“You don’t have to be here.” Even sounds tired and weak.

“I know. But Isak is worried about you and wanted someone to stay with you, and I don’t mind.”

Even doesn’t respond to that, just lies there with his eyes closed.

“So, I take it that’s a no to some food then?” Jonas presses, which elicits a sigh from Even, but nothing else.

Even’s unresponsiveness worries Jonas a little and he wishes there was something he could do to make Even feel better.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” he asks, almost desperate to do anything.

Even shakes his head, which makes Jonas feel even more helpless. But he can’t force his help on Even either.

“I’ll just leave you alone then, or do you want me to stay?”

Even just shrugs at that, which causes a feeling of uneasiness to settle in Jonas’s stomach. Even is usually so full of life, always in a good mood. Jonas hasn’t ever really seen him like this, down, not wanting to communicate. Isak usually handles Even’s episodes alone, or with the help of Even’s parents. And even though Isak said that Even isn’t depressed right now, he isn’t being himself right now either, and Jonas, while considering what Isak has told him about Even’s episodes in the past, wonders if this is how it’s like to be around him when he is depressed. It makes him sad that this is something Isak has had to deal with without any of his friends helping him. He internally curses at how he hasn’t been more supportive towards Isak and Even when it comes to Even’s bipolar. On the other hand, he’s impressed by how capable and strong Isak is dealing with it.

“Ok, I’ll be in the living room studying then. Just give me a shout if you need me, okay?” He grabs Even’s lower arm and squeezes it before he gets up and leaves.

Jonas spends the next hours studying in the living room. He hears Even coughing from time to time, but the couple of times he checks up on him, he’s always sleeping.

He actually gets a fair amount of work done and feels pleased with himself. By lunch time he takes the trip to the kitchen to find something to eat. He hadn’t thought about bringing lunch when Isak called him this morning asking for help, had only grabbed his back pack and headed straight over to Isak and Even’s apartment. He knows the guys won’t mind him eating some of their food, though.

He rummages through the refrigerator and finds some vegetables, cheese and eggs. He quickly whisks together an omelette. While he waits for it to finish cooking, he looks for bread and eventually finds some toast in one of the cupboards. He makes a fresh pot of coffee, the coffee that Isak made this morning long gone. Jonas depends too much on his coffee when he’s studying, has been drinking coffee continuously throughout his study session.

He is about to sit down at the kitchen table when he hears the sound of the bed room door opening and the tousled sound of feet moving across the floor. He hears Even go to the bathroom, before he appears in the kitchen doorway, wearing sweatpants, a hoodie and big woollen socks, even though it’s early summer and not really cold.

“Hey,” Jonas says, not really expecting an answer. “I was just about to eat. I made an omelette. There’s more than enough if you want something to eat.”

To his surprise Even nods, and walks over to the kitchen table and sits down. Jonas quickly grabs another plate and utensils and puts it in front of Even. Without asking he boils some water, finds the box of rosehip tea and puts the mug with hot water and the tea bag steeping on the table, next to Even’s plate.

They eat in silence, only interrupted by Even coughing from time to time. Jonas doesn’t want to push Even into talking if he doesn’t want to. The mood is easy though, and Jonas isn’t disturbed by them being quiet around each other.

When they’re done eating, he gestures that Even shouldn’t get up, and he clears the by himself. He tidies everything up and does the dishes quickly, all while Even is watching him, his head resting against the wall. It isn’t uncomfortable though, having Even’s eyes on him.

When he’s finished, Jonas walks over to him. He can tell that Even is tired, his eyelids heavy.

“Want to go back to bed?”

Even shakes his head.

“Okay. Couch?”

“Yeah.” Even’s voice is low and raspy.

Jonas smiles and reaches his hand out to Even, who tilts his head slightly to the side and looks at him for a couple of seconds. Jonas smile falters and he swallows, thinking he might have overstepped, that the gesture is to intimate.

The feeling of relief makes him smile again though, when Even’s hand grabs his, and he pulls Even up from the chair and tugs at him to make him follow him into the living room. He instantly misses the warmth of Even’s hand in his own when he has to let it go to arrange the throw pillows, making a comfortable space on the couch for Even to lie down. He makes sure there’s a space left for him to sit at the end of the couch.

Even lies down as Jonas picks up one of his text books and a bunch of notes. He settles onto the couch and makes himself ready for another study session. He glances over at Even and frowns. Even is curled up like a ball, his knees drawn up against his stomach and his arms pressing against his chest. He looks small and vulnerable, not at all comfortable. Jonas looks around, spots a blanket draped over the armchair and goes over to grab it. Carefully he wraps the blanket around Even, who instantly seems to relax.

“Just sleep, or whatever, yeah? I’ll be right here.”

Jonas can barely see Even’s head move, but it’s a small nod and he can be happy with that. He settles back onto the couch, opens his text book and starts to read.

It doesn’t take long before he hears Even snoring. He finds it a bit annoying at the beginning, but the sound is steady, and he’s soon able to block it out.

They stay like that for a couple of hours, Even sleeping and Jonas studying. He puts his book and notes aside when Even starts to stir, but it takes Even a couple of minutes before he’s looking up at Jonas.

“Hey,” Even says. He doesn’t look as pale as before, his cheeks have a little colour now.

“Hi.”

“What time is it?” Even asks while slowly sitting up.

Jonas pulls out his phone.

“It’s almost five o’clock he says. At the same time, his phone goes off with a text from Isak, wondering how Even is doing. He cringes when he realizes that he has forgotten to give Isak an update. He quickly types out a response and puts the phone back in his pocket.

“That was Isak asking how I’m doing, wasn’t it?” Even asks knowingly.

“Yeah,” Jonas chuckles. He just wanted to know how you are doing.”

“What did you tell him?”

“Do you know what he said to me before he left this morning? That I shouldn’t ask you how you are doing, because you hate that when you’re not feeling well.” Jonas says it with humour in his voice, so that Even knows that he isn’t annoyed with Isak. “So, I wrote him that because of him I can’t really be sure, but that you’ve eaten and slept and that I think you’re doing ok.”

Even hums at that.

“Are you doing ok?” Jonas dares to ask.

He smiles when he hears Even’s small chuckle.

“I’ve always liked that about you, Jonas. You never let anybody tell you what to do. You always do what you think is best. And I rarely see you go about anything the wrong way.”

Now it’s Jonas’s turn to hum in response, as he isn’t sure how to respond to that. He isn’t used to people telling him their perception of him, but Even’s words are nice to hear. He has always valued Even’s opinions ever since he got to know him, because not only is Even a nice guy, he also doesn’t just blurt out whatever comes to his mind, he thinks things through, and what he says reflects that.

“You haven’t answered my question, though,” he presses, not willing to let Even of the hook by complementing him.

Even’s eyes sparkle a little at that, a small grin tugging at his lips.

“I’m feeling a little better. I think it was a good idea to eat something. Your company also helps.”

Jonas is about to smile at that, but Even’s words throw him into a coughing fit, and Jonas sees the strained expression on his face when it doesn’t stop. He gets up and rushes to get a glass of water from the kitchen.

When he comes back, Jonas sits down next to him and without thinking about it, he puts his hand on Even’s back and starts rubbing it.

He offers Even the glass of water when the coughing stops. Even takes it gratefully and gulps down most of it, all while Jonas continues to stroke his back, feeling Even’s warmth through the fabric of his hoodie. Even leans into him. It’s barely noticeable, but Jonas doesn’t miss it. He feels a warmth in his chest, a tiny hope igniting.

“Thank you,” Even says in a low voice when the coughing finally stops enough so that he can speak again.

“Of course, you don’t need to thank me,” Jonas says. It’s not like being with Even today has been an effort. He wants to tell Even that, as well as how he enjoys his company, but he can’t decide if that might make Even uncomfortable.

“No, I mean it. You didn’t have to spend your day with me. I could’ve stayed by myself. I know your exams are coming up, and you really should be studying.” Even looks at Jonas like he’s feeling guilty, and Jonas won’t have any of that.

“No worries, Even. You’ve almost slept the entire day I’ve gotten so much work done, don’t think about it.”

Jonas is suddenly aware that he is still rubbing Even’s back, even though he stopped coughing a while ago. Even doesn’t seem to mind, and Jonas contemplates keeping his hand there some more, but he supposes it’s only a matter of time until Even realizes that Jonas’s hand is on him. So, reluctantly he removes it. He watches how Even’s eyes follow his movements as Jonas places his hand between them on the couch. Even’s eyes rest there for a couple of seconds. Then he looks up at Jonas, wonder in his eyes. They look at each other and Jonas’s mind goes still. All he can focus on is Even’s eyes and how they’re looking at him. He wants so badly to ask him what he’s thinking, but he doesn’t dare, too afraid what the answer might be.

It makes him both relieved and sad when he hears the next words that leave Even’s mouth. Relieved that Even doesn’t seem weirded out by what just happened, sad that the moment is over.

“How is your studying doing?” It sounds genuinely, like Even really is interesting in how Jonas is doing with his preparations.

“Good. I only have one exam left, on Monday, and I think I’ll be ready for it.”

“Knowing you, you’ll probably nail it. What course?”

“Middle Eastern politics and society.”

Even whistles at that. “Sounds interesting. Want to tell me about it? We can make an exercise out of it? Pick the topic you feel you know the least about, that you think you should study a bit more, and tell me what you know about it. That way you can identify what you should be reading up on.”

“That sounds like a really good idea. You’re up for that?” Jonas asks, not wanting Even to tire himself out.

“Sure,” Even nods eagerly. “Come on, what topic?”

“Ugh, minorities,” Jonas says and frowns. There’s just so much stuff to remember and he’s having trouble keeping the different minorities apart, to determine what piece of information fits with which one.

Even just laughs at him. “I’m ready when you are.”

Then Jonas starts talking, and Even listens. Even is a good listener. He pays attention and asks questions that make Jonas think and see things from new perspectives. It turns out Jonas knows more about the topic than he thought he did, which Even tells him he isn’t surprised by, which in turn makes Jonas blush a little, which again makes him feel a bit embarrassed, because he usually isn’t one to blush. Even only laughs at him. Jonas feels happy that Even seems to be feeling better than this morning.

They keep at it for almost two hours. They cover another topic as well, the use of social media in the Middle East, and when Jonas sees that Even is getting tired again, he is so pleased with all the work he has done today that he doesn’t mind stopping the exercise at all.

“You look tired,” he says softly at Even. “How about we call it quits for today?” I’ve been studying all day, and I think I could use a break.”

Even just smiles tiredly at him. His face has turned a bit pale again and it’s like the hoodie he’s wearing suddenly look two sizes too big for him.

“Do you want to lie down?” Jonas asks, arranging one of the throw pillows next to him so that Even can lie down. Even climbs over to him, but doesn’t lie down next to him like Jonas expects him to. He removes the pillow, looks at Jonas questionably and lies down with his head in Jonas’s lap.

Jonas instantly feels his heart start to race in his chest, and a warmth settles in his stomach.

“Okay?” Even whispers, looking up at him, clearly a bit unsure if Jonas is comfortable with this.

“Yeah,” Jonas reassures in a low voice and watches how Even visibly relaxes at that and closes his eyes.

“Thank you for being here today.”

Jonas can hear how Even’s voice quivers, and he fights the urge to run a finger across Even’s cheek.

“Like I said, no worries. Thank you for helping me study, that was really helpful.” He pauses a bit, not sure if he should continue talking, since Even looks like he is falling asleep, but he really wants to say it.

“You know, Isak was really worried about you...” He pauses at that to see if him mentioning Isak will elicit a reaction out of Even, maybe make him move away, but Even stays still, only hums at Jonas’s words. Jonas exhales in relief and continues talking.

“…and he was so stressed out this morning about his exam and potentially missing out on going to the lab. But he really didn’t want you to be alone today. I’m just glad I could help you guys out. If you need me, for anything, you have to know that you can always come to me.”

He says it softly, wants Even to understand that me means it, that this isn’t just him offering his assistance as a friend, but that they, Isak and Even, can rely on him if they want to, that he wants to be there for them.

Even raises his hand and clutches at Jonas’s shirt when Jonas is done talking. He still has his eyes closed, and Jonas wishes they were open, wants to see if they might expose what Even is thinking. He reckons it can’t be bad though, when he feels Even’s hand gather more fabric between his fingers to clutch at Jonas’s shirt more tightly.

Jonas’s heart hammers against his ribcage when he gently puts his hand in Even’s hair and starts running his fingers through it. He doesn’t mind that it’s greasy. Even sighs audibly at the touch, which encourages Jonas to continue. He plays with Even’s hair until he falls asleep, then he continues doing it just because it feels so nice being allowed to touch Even like that. He watches Even while he’s sleeping, how rested his face looks, how his lips are slightly parted to let the airflow pass between them. Tentatively he strokes a finger along Even’s cheekbone and into the dip in Even’s chin, feels the stubble against the finger pad. He reaches down and places his hand above Even’s heart, imagines how it beats in a steady rhythm underneath it. At some point he falls asleep too, his fingers tangled in Even’s hair and his other hand resting on Even’s chest.

Later that night, Jonas is woken up by Isak coming home. Even is still sleeping, his head in Jonas’s lap. For a second Jonas is terrified that Isak will be upset that they are lying like this, and he considers sliding away from underneath Even. At the same time, he doesn’t want to wake Even up, and before he can make a choice, Isak steps into the living room and Jonas instantly freezes.

Isak doesn’t seem upset though, just smiles at him and walks over to them. He halts in front of Even, bends down and puts his hand on Even’s cheek.

“Has he been sleeping for long?”

Jonas’s throat is rough from sleeping, and he clears it before he speaks.

“A couple of hours I guess. He’s been sleeping a lot today. And coughing. He seemed better this afternoon, but then he got tired again and fell asleep like this.”

Jonas pauses, isn’t sure if he should say something. But he’s getting tired of having his feelings bottled up inside, tired of having so much unspoken between them.

“I… I hope it doesn’t upset you that he’s lying like this. I guess he just needed some comfort. Nothing happened, I swear.” Jonas notices how he’s starting to talk faster, but he can’t help himself. He doesn’t want Isak to be mad or to think that Jonas is trying to get Even to cheat on Isak. Doing something with Even, while Isak is gone, isn’t even an option.

“Calm down, Jonas,” Isak says adamantly. “I know nothing happened. You wouldn’t do that, neither of you. I’m glad he found comfort in having you here. Besides…” Isak looks a bit unsure, dwells on his words. “We’ve gotten closer lately, haven’t we?”

Jonas takes a deep breath at Isak’s words.

“Yeah,” he nods. “We have.”

They look at each other for a while.

“Isak… I…”

“Yeah?” Isak says, his voice almost like a whisper, his eyes full of expectation.

“I- I think we should put Even to bed.” He feels like a coward the instant the words leave his mouth.

Isak looks at him, doesn’t say a word, but his eyes look sad.

Jonas thinks Isak wants to say something, has known Isak long enough to know when he is holding something back. He doesn’t push it when Isak settles with an “okay”. Isak isn’t the one to blurt out what he’s thinking. He wonders if he should be the one to speak about how he’s feeling, but somehow he can’t seem to find the strength to do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm [himmelskys](https://himmelskys.tumblr.com/) on tumblr!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even and Jonas spend some time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you guys for giving kudos and commenting. Writing this fic gives me so much joy, but even more so knowing that people actually like this story.
> 
> This chapter is in Even POV. I figured it's about time we find out what he's feeling about everything that's going on.

He’s grateful his boss ordered him to leave the office early since he’s still not feeling one hundred percent. She’s well aware of Even’s situation, and since he had been working so hard up until he got sick last week, she didn’t want him to push himself more than necessary on his first day back.

When he first started this job, he had tried to keep his illness a secret, even though both his therapist and Isak had advised him to be open about it. Him and Isak had even fought over it, but Even wanted to prove himself at his first job after graduating, didn’t want his boss or colleagues to treat him differently than any other employees. But that plan had backfired when he had a full-blown episode about five months after he started working. He should have known it was stupid to keep it a secret. Luckily his boss handled it well, and Even had decided that he was done with keeping his illness a secret, that he would always tell the people who needed to know. Things had mostly been going okay from then on.

He’s on his way home when it hits him that Isak isn’t going to be there when he gets there and that he won’t be coming home for several hours. He has one exam tomorrow and another one the day after that. And even though Even argued this morning that Isak should take the afternoon off, that Isak would benefit from taking it easy the day before his exam, Isak wouldn’t budge. Even ponders for a moment what he should do, and decides to pick up his phone to open his conversation with Jonas.

He smiles a little when he sees the typing bubble appear at the bottom of the screen. Jonas must have finished his exam if he’s texting Even. He waits until the message comes through and chuckles when he sees it. It starts with a bunch of exclamation points and proceeds with how happy Jonas is that his exam is finally over and that he’s so ready for summer break.

Even is about to reply and ask how the exam went, when he sees the typing bubble reappear. This time Jonas wants to know how Even’s doing, and Even notices that he doesn’t mind Jonas asking, not at all. It’s a nice feeling knowing that Jonas cares about him enough to send him a message like that immediately after finishing his exam. Most people would be bust thinking about celebrating.

He quickly sends Jonas a reply, congratulating him on having finished his exam and telling him he got off work early and that he’s feeling pretty good. He also asks him if Jonas is going to celebrate later.

He’s pocketed his phone and started walking when he feels his phone vibrate again. He reads the next message quickly. Jonas wants to know if Even wants to meet up, and that is a question it’s easy to say yes to.

They meet up half 20 minutes later in a park halfway between Evens work and his and Isak’ apartment. It makes his happy spotting Jonas sitting on one of the benches, leaned back, soaking up the sun. He looks relaxed, with his eyes are closed and feet stretched out in front of him. There are two cups of coffee and a small brown bag on the bench next to him. Even sits down on the other side of him.

“Hey”, he says.

“Hmm…” Jonas hums, his eyes still closed. He sounds pleased and Even smiles at that.

“I can’t believe I can finally enjoy the sun again. All this studying has made me forget how nice it is being outside. Two months until next semester. I better make the most of it.”

“Yeah, you’ve earned it,” Even says and bumps his shoulder lightly.

“Damn right I’ve earned it,” Jonas says and chuckles. He sits up straight and opens his eyes. They immediately seek out Even, and Even looks back at him. Jonas looks a bit pale and tired, which Even points out to him.

“Yeah, well so do you,” Jonas says back and grins.

“I’ve been sick. What’s your excuse?” Even jokes.

“I’ve been studying like a maniac the last couple of weeks, thank you very much.” Jonas makes a point out of feigning offense, until he caves at continues: “But pretty sure my exam went well, thanks to you. Can you believe it was about Middle Eastern minorities? That exercise of yours made me study that topic over the weekend. I couldn’t believe my luck when I started reading what the assignment was about.”

“I’m glad I could help you,” Even smiles at Jonas. It’s a nice feeling knowing he’s contributed in a positive way to Jonas preparing for his exam. “I had fun helping you, even considering how tired it made me.” His mind wanders back to the afternoon back in the apartment, how nice it felt lying in Jonas’s lap, feeling his hand in his hair, how easy it was to close his eyes and let sleep overcome him, how safe had felt. It isn’t something that comes easily to him, letting other people close like that. It’s only his parents and Isak who gets to see him when he’s feeling down.

Jonas looks at Even with a soft expression on his face, but he doesn’t say anything.

“So, am I getting a coffee or what?” Even asks leaning over Jonas, peaking over at the items standing on the bench next to him.

“Wow, greedy much?” Jonas chuckles and hands him a cup and the brown paper bag. “I bought you this as well.”

“What’s this?” Even peeks curiously into the bag and smiles when he sees its content. “Biscotti? How did you know..?”

“Isak always buys one for you.” Jonas shrugs and takes a sip from his cup, and it’s like a small squeeze at Even’s heart, the way Jonas so subtly cares for him.

“Thank you,” he says softly looking over at Jonas. “And thank you for being there last week, you know, when I wasn’t feeling that good.”

“No problem,” Jonas says and nudges Even’s shoulder. It’s innocent, but in a way Even can’t help but think if the touch means something, which again makes him wonder if he’s overanalysing it.

“No, I mean it,” he says after a while. “It’s not something I take for granted. You didn’t have to look after me like that.” Even though Even feels grateful for Jonas’s being there for him, he doesn’t want Jonas to feel obligated to be there when his bipolar decides to act up.

“Even… I wanted to.” Jonas seems hesitant, has an unsure expression on his face, like he isn’t sure if he should say what he’s thinking about. Even waits patiently for him to continue, wants to know what Jonas is thinking.

“I… I don’t mind taking care of you,” Jonas continues. “Know that I’m here for you if you need me.” Jonas swallows and looks Even in the eyes. “Okay?”

“Okay,” Even whispers and feels his heart beating a little faster. He isn’t sure what he should do with this information, if it means anything. Jonas said something similar when Even was sick and feeling down. He wonders if Jonas is only trying to be a good friend or if there is something else behind his words. Even considers this as he takes a sip from his coffee and leans back on the bench. People are milling around the park, the sun warms his face and he feels better than he has in days. It feels nice sitting here with Jonas.

They sit there for a while, just relaxing and talking, until Jonas’s stomach growls and he says he’s too hungry to sit there any longer. Even considers asking him if he wants to join him for dinner at his place, but thinks that Jonas probably has plans to celebrate being finished with his exam. He did after all just finish the first year of his master’s programme.

He is about to say his good byes when Jonas touches his upper arm lightly.

“Hey, what are you doing now? When’s Isak coming home?”

Jonas words ignite a small hope within him. “I don’t have any plans exactly. I guess I’m going home to make dinner. I asked Isak not to study all night, because he needs to rest a little, but I’m not sure when he’s coming home. Why?”

“Do you want to have dinner together? I could come with you?” Jonas smiles at him and Even can’t think of I reason to say no. In fact, he would really like to spend the afternoon with Jonas.

“We could text Isak and let him know we’re cooking and see if we can get him to come home?” Jonas asks while pulling out his phone.

Even nods at that and watches Jonas tap away on his phone.

“Why doesn’t the three of us have our own chat?” Jonas asks on a side note. “We should definitely have that.”

Even agrees and pulls out his own phone to accept the invitation to a new group chat from Jonas. They are both a bit surprised when Isak accepts his invitation immediately, and Jonas is quick to ask him if he wants to join them for dinner. Isak isn’t too keen to give up on his studies, but a couple of texts from the both of them make him give in, if they him cook lasagna. Even chuckles at that and looks at Jonas.

“What do you say? Do you think we should cook him lasagna?” He says it playfully, and Jonas grins back at him.

“Yeah, I guess he deserves it.”

“Lasagna it is then,” Even laughs and sends a message to Isak in the group chat to confirm it. He gets a thumbs up from Isak in return.

They make their way back to the apartment, only stopping by the grocery store to get what they need to make dinner. At the store, Even picks all the stuff they need, and Jonas asks questions about the recipe and how he’s going to cook it, like he’s really interested in it. It’s nice going grocery shopping with Jonas like this, walking side by side along the shelves, answering all his questions. Even really enjoys cooking, but Isak doesn’t take much pleasure in it. He cooks when he has to, and his cooking isn’t all that bad, but he isn’t one to talk much about different techniques or recipies. Jonas seems far more interested in it, though.

“Do you cook?” he asks when Jonas ask a particular question about how Even makes the béchamel sauce.

“A little,” Jonas says and shrugs. “I’ve learned a little from my mother and my grandmother the few times she has been visiting from Colombia, mostly Colombian food, though.”

“You should cook something for us sometime then,” Even encourages.

“Yeah, you want that? I’d be happy to.” Jonas looks so happy about the idea, Even is really pleased with himself for coming up with the idea.

“How about Wednesday, when Isak has finished his last exam?” Jonas looks over at Even eagerly.

“Sure.” Even doesn’t even need to think about it, is already looking forward to spending more time with Jonas.

They leave the grocery store and head for the apartment. It’s just a couple of blocks away, but it’s rush hour and they have to wait at every intersection they get to to cross the street. They have time though. Besides, neither of them are particularly impatient.

At the second to last intersection, when they’re half way into grossing the street, Even notices a car in the corner of his eye, approaching too fast. The driver honks vigorously just as Even grabs Jonas’s hand and drags him along. It’s a close call when the he car passes them going way too fast for what he would consider is the appropriate speed level in the city during rush hour.

Once they are on the sidewalk, he looks over at Jonas to make sure he’s okay. Jonas is staring at the car going down the street with a frown on his face. He doesn’t turn to Even until he sees it turn the next corner.

“You okay?” he asks Jonas and squeezes his hand, which is still linked to his.

“Yeah, no worries.” Jonas nods. He looks like he’s considering saying something, but then he tilts his head a little to the side and looks at Even, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Even isn’t sure what it means, until he feels Jonas hand carefully squeeze back, and he feels a warmth settle in his chest when he sees the fondness in Jonas’s eyes.

They stand in the middle of the sidewalk looking at each other for several seconds, until Even squeezes one more time and tugs at Jonas to make him start walking. They walk the two last blocks holding hands, and Even can’t stop thinking about how nice it feels, how easy it is to walk next to Jonas, holding his hand and watching how Jonas looks back at him from time to time with a small smile on his face and happiness in his eyes. He feels a closeness between them he’s never felt before.

Once inside the apartment, they go straight to the small kitchen to start cooking. Jonas is pretty decent in the kitchen, knows how to handle a knife. And even though they aren’t used to cooking together, it only takes them a couple of times nearly bumping into each other, which makes them smile and giggle at each other, until they learn how to walk around each other pretty seamlessly in the kitchen.

The lasagna is in the oven when Isak gets home. Even is about to finish making a salad, and Jonas is sitting on the kitchen counter watching him. Isak looks utterly exhausted when he enters the kitchen. He’s pale, with dark circles under his eyes, and his body slumped, like he doesn’t have the strength to keep himself upright any longer. He doesn’t say anything, just crosses the kitchen floor and walks into Even’s waiting arms. He stays there for several minutes, his arms hanging down alongside his body and his forehead resting against Even’s shoulder.

Even wraps his arms around him and pulls Isak close. Isak has been studying too hard the last couple of weeks, and Even has been concerned about him. Isak always works so hard, forgets to eat, sleeps too little, but nothing Even says makes a difference. Isak just keeps pushing and pushing himself to the brink of exhaustion. All Even can do about it is be there for him, cook him meals, try to get him to sleep, encourage him when Isak’s feeling like he isn’t handling his study well, even though he is. He always is.

Even hates seeing Isak like this. He wonders if he should have intervened, tried to get Isak to take it easier, even though it’s almost impossible once Isak has set his mind on something. So, he only pulls Isak closer by his waist, and rubs his back with the other hand, trying to relieve some of the muscles from the tension in Isak’s body.

They stay like that for a while, until Isak pulls back a little and cranes his neck to kiss Even. He has his eyes closed, but Even knows Isak so well, knows that the expression on his face means that he needs of the kiss he’s silently asking for. Even cups both of Isak’s cheeks with his hands as be bends down to meet him in a kiss. He presses his lips softly against Isak’s, tries to bring as much comfort into it as he can and salutes himself silently when he can feel Isak relax against him and hears the sigh that escapes him.

“Thank you,” Isak murmurs against his lips, and Even feels his heart swell at the words.

He tucks a curl of Isak’s hair behind his ear as he answers. “Anytime.”

Isak looks at him, thankfulness and love written all over his face, before he turns to Jonas, who hasn’t left his spot on the kitchen counter. Even can feel a warmth spread in his chest when he sees how fondly Jonas is looking at them, like he’s appreciative about the scene he’s just seen unfold in front of him, and Even is suddenly hit by the feeling that he doesn’t want Jonas to be a spectator like that, that he wants him closer. And that makes him feel a little conflicted as he watches how Isak approaches Jonas and gives him a hug, how Jonas pulls Isak closer so that he’s standing in between Jonas’s legs, how Isak closes his eyes as he presses his face into Jonas’s neck, how Jonas rest a hand in the nape of Isak’s neck. It’s so clear to him that the two of them have feelings for each other.

It isn’t that it upsets Even watching it. He accepted a long time ago how Isak feels about Jonas, knows what Jonas has meant to Isak over the years. Even also knows how Isak feels about him and has never been worried about Isak leaving him. He sees the love Isak has for him in his eyes every day. It’s Isak who has been struggling with his feelings for Jonas, but ever since Isak admitted those feelings to Even, he has been coming more and more to terms with it, and it’s been so nice to see how Isak has let himself _feel_ without being confused or shamed about it. He can genuinely say that watching Isak and Jonas kiss the last time all the three of them hung out made him happy, for both Isak and Jonas.

And he’s still happy for them as he watches how also Jonas can give Isak the comfort he needs when he’s so tired and stressed out about his exams. But now, along with the warmth he feels in his chest, there’s a _longing_ grower bigger and bigger, almost overcoming the warmth, and he finds himself not knowing what to do about it. He feels insecure. And he realizes it must show on him that something is up with him, because both Isak and Jonas are looking at him with concern written all over their faces. Isak has even pulled back from Jonas and taken a step towards Even, one hand reaching out for him.

“Even,” Isak says with pain in his voice. “I’m sorry… We shouldn’t have…”

“No!” Even exclaims, taking a step forward, his eyes flickering between Isak and Jonas. “You’ve nothing to be sorry about.”

Jonas’s concerned expression shifts into a small smile. Isak still looks concerned though, but also a little confused.

Even takes another step towards Isak and puts his hand on his hips and looks down at him. “I…, I just…” His eye flickers between Isak and Jonas again, and Isak’s starting to grow a frown on his face. Even hates that his insecurities are making Isak feel bad.

“What’s going on, Even?”

Isak sounds so confused, but Even isn’t sure if he can say what’s on his mind, how to put his feelings into words.

Before Even can answer, they are both being pulled at by Jonas. Jonas puts one hand on Even’s neck and the other on Isak’s and pulls them closer until they are standing there pressed against him, all three foreheads touching.

“Yeah,” Even sighs, because it just feels _so right_.

“Oh”, Isak says at the same time, like he’s just realizing what’s going on.

Jonas just smiles, before he whispers a soft “yeah” too. It’s not until then that Isak’s frown leaves his face and a smile spreads across his face. And it’s not until then Even feels a wave of relief crash through his body and the warmth take over the space in his chest, chasing the feeling of longing away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, some of you have been asking for more smut. All I can say it that there will be more smut. Just hang in there a little while longer ;-)
> 
> I'm [himmelskys](https://himmelskys.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonas has something he needs to tell Isak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm sorry this upate has taken so long. With Christmas and everything, this chapter got so delayed. It doesn't help that I'm a slow writer, and that this chapter was really hard to write. It turned out to be 10k, so I hope that makes up for it somehow. A lot goes down in this chapter...
> 
> I also have to say thank you for all your kudos and amazing comments on the last chapter. I'm blown away by how this fic has been received by you guys, and I hope I can do that justice with this update.
> 
> Also, please mind that I edited the tags.

**From Jonas:**  
Do you want to meet up  
after your exam?

Isak keeps staring at the text message from Jonas. It was sent almost four hours ago and he found it on his phone when he pulled it out from his backpack after he had finished his exam. He doesn’t get why Jonas sent the text almost four hours ago, when he knew Isak would be busy with his final exam. He finds it weird.

He is completely worn out, can’t remember the last time he felt as exhausted as this. All he wants is to go home and collapse onto the couch and stay there until Even gets home from work. He’s about to type out a reply to let Jonas know he is headed straight home, when he hears someone shouting his name. He sees Jonas waving at him, before he crosses the street and approaches him.

“Hey, man. What are you doing here?”

They give each other the usual handshake and smile at each other, holding on to each other a couple of seconds longer than necessary. Isak misses the contact immediately when Jonas lets go of his hand.

“Even told me where you had your exam. Did you get my text?” Jonas asks tentatively. Isak can sense that something’s up with Jonas, but can’t put his finger on what exactly.

“Yeah, I was about to give you a reply. What’s up?”

“Do you want to go for kebabs with me? I sort of want to talk to you about something.” Jonas looks a little unsure of himself, which is uncharacteristically when it comes to him. He’s usually quite confident.

Isak hesitates for a moment. Quite frankly, he’s too tired to go anywhere. All he wants to do is go home and relax, maybe pick up a pizza on his way home, but there’s something in the way Jonas is looking at him, hopeful somehow, that makes him agree.

“Sure, who refuses to go for kebabs?” he replies with a grin.

“No one,” Jonas grins back. “The old place?”

They haven’t gone for kebabs in ages, but Isak immediately knows where Jonas means.

“All the way over to Bislett?” he asks, curious as to why Jonas wants to go all the way there. It’s where they used to go for kebabs when they went to Nissen, and it’s almost a half an hour walk and they’ll pass several kebab places on the way over there.

“Yeah, we haven’t been in such a long time. Want to get a decent kebab. It’s the best one in the city. Come on.” Jonas seems pretty adamant about it.

Isak isn’t very keen on taking the walk, can feel how sore the muscles in his back are from sitting bent over a desk all day, but again, there’s something about Jonas that make him agree to it. He shrugs and starts walking, and Jonas quickly catches up with him.

“How did the exam go?”

The question makes Isak groan. “I haven’t had the time to process yet, but it was ok, I guess. I’m just so happy to be over with it. And I don’t start my summer job until nearly three weeks. I’m not going to do anything until then, just stay in bed all day and catch up on my TV-shows on Netflix or something.”

“Of course,” Jonas says unenthusiastically, which makes Isak cast a glance at him.

“Don’t you have the next couple of weeks off too?” Isak asks. “We should hang out.”

He looks over at Jonas when he doesn’t get a reply at once.

“Sure, if you want to.” Jonas seems hesitant about it, and Isak can’t understand why. Something with Jonas doesn’t seem right. He doesn’t ask about it though, doesn’t want to pry.

“Just let me know and we’ll go do something, okay?” Isak hopes the offer will make Jonas feel a little bit better, whatever it is that bothers him.

Jonas only hums at that and they spend the next couple of minutes walking in silence next to each other. They get to talking again when Isak askes Jonas  some questions about his summer job, and he talks about his upcoming summer internship when Jonas asks about it.

Then they proceed to talk about where they would’ve liked to travel over the summer break if they’d had the time and money for it. Considering they both have to work over the summer to save up some money for when the new semester starts again in the fall, traveling over the summer really isn’t an option. They both have student loans, but that barely covers rent, so they both need to work during summer to cover other expenses. It turns out they both want to go backpacking in South America, and before Isak can think about it he’s askes Jonas if he wants to take the trip when they’ve finished their master degrees next summer.

“Don’t you rather want to go with Even?” They’ve finally arrived at the kebab place when Jonas asks.

Isak looks at him incredulously. “We could go all three. Even’s a spur of the moment kind of guy, so he’ll probably have trouble committing to it now, but I don’t see him staying behind if we go through with it. We’ll just have to plan everything and fish some money for the plane ticket out of him.” Isak laughs a little, feeling happy about the idea of the three of them traveling together.

It looks as if Jonas is about to give a reply when the door to the kebab shop opens and a man and a woman exits. Jonas gestures for Isak to get inside, and te conversation about travelling ends when they get too preoccupied with placing their orders by the counter.

They get their kebabs and step outside onto the pavement. Jonas has gone silent again, and Isak wonders what’s up with him. Jonas isn’t usually like this. Sure, he isn’t the one who talks constantly. They can be around each other in silence, have been many times. But somehow, it’s different today. The conversation doesn’t flow like it normally does. It’s like Jonas spaces out and Isak has to work to get his attention. He remembers how Jonas said he wanted to talk to Isak about something, but apparently he’s taking his time with it, and Jonas doesn’t want to push him. They’ve known each other for a long time. Isak knows Jonas will talk to him when he’s ready.

“Where do you want to go?” Isak asks.

Jonas only shrugs at that and  starts walking down the street, and Isak just lets him lead the way.

They end up on a familiar bench in a nearby park, sitting next to each other, just a small space between them. They eat in silence. Isak can feel how tired he is and closes his eyes for a second, can feel how his body’s aching for some rest. He’s definitely not going to that party he’s been invited to tonight. He just wants to stay home, snuggled up against Even on the couch, watching TV.

He opens his eyes and looks over at Jonas when he hears him clear his throat.

“So, uh, I kind of wanted to talk to you about something?” Jonas says as he turns a little bit towards Isak, looking him straight in the eye. It might seem confident, but Isak isn’t fooled. Isak can tell that Jonas’s a bit unsure, not entirely comfortable. One has to know him to be able to see it, but Isak does know him, and he sees it. He nods at Jonas, a sign for him to go on.

“I don’t know if you remember the last time we sat here?”

Isak smiles as that, sticks his fork into the kebab and lifts his hand to let it rest on Jonas’s shoulder. Jonas flinches a little at that, which makes Isak frown. He gives Jonas’ shoulder a comforting squeeze, at least he hopes it comes off as comforting, before he removes his hand.

“Of course I do. I’ll never forget that. I was so fucking relieved by how you reacted. I’ve heard some pretty bad stories about people coming out getting bad reactions from their friends. It was so hard for me coming out to you. I was so scared what you were going to think about me when you found out. But you were so chill about it. You and the guys. That made it easier.”

He shoves another fork of kebab into his mouth. When he looks back at Jonas, he realizes that he’s stopped eating and is looking at him, almost a pained expression on his face. And it dawns on Isak then, that Jonas has brought him here to tell him something he needs Isak’s support with, and it doesn’t even take him a quarter of a second to decide that whatever it is, he’s going to be there for Jonas. If Jonas needs him, he’ll be there. He swallows the food down and asks, carefully, not wanting to push too hard, but it looks like Jonas needs some help to get whatever it is off his chest.

“What’s up, Jonas? Why did you bring me here?”

“I need to tell you something.”

Isak doesn’t like the expression on Jonas’s face at all.

“Yeah, I’ve pretty much figured that out,” Isak says and gives Jonas a small smile, hoping it comes off as encouraging.

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I guess the stuff that has happened lately sort of made it clear to me.” Isak sees how Jonas glances over at him, how he swallows before he continues. “I think I’m bisexual.”

Even though Isak isn’t prepared for Jonas’ words, they’re not all that surprising to him either. Not long ago he was sure that Jonas was straight, but recent events have made him think that Jonas probably isn’t straight. Isak smiles at him.

“Jonas… Is that why you brought me here?”

Jonas only nods at that, a pained expression on his face, and Isak’s smile falters, his mood switching to concerned.

“Does it upset you?” Isak asks carefully. “Being bisexual, I mean?”

“No. I mean, I’ve been a bit confused about it. I’m 23. I guess I thought I had that stuff figured out, considering I’ve only been attracted to girls up until recently, but something’s changed, and I don’t see myself as straight any more. I’m not gay though, because I still like girls.” Jonas lets out a small laugh. “So, I’m attracted to both guys and girls, and if I have to explain it, I feel that bisexual is a pretty good description.”

There’s a thousand question going through Isak’s head, but he pushes them to the back of his mind. There’s something he needs to address first.

“You know you don’t _have to_ explain it, or put a label on it, right? Not on my or anyone’s behalf.”

“I know. But, like I said, I’ve thought about it, and I feel comfortable with saying that I’m bisexual.” Jonas smiles as Isak, and Isak is quick to return it. His own smile fades though, when he sees how Jonas’s face goes all serious again.

“There’s more,” Jonas says as he moves a little away from Isak, creates some distance between them, and Isak doesn’t like it one bit. He doesn’t understand why Jonas feels the need to make space between them like that. He’d rather have him closer.

And Jonas is sharing something so private about himself, like he trusts Isak with it, and Isak wants to show Jonas that he can be trusted with this, that he is there for him, just like Jonas was there for him when Isak came out. Or, not quite like that, because something has changed between them. Their relationship has gotten more intimate, and Isak realises he wants that intimacy, and when Jonas moves away from him it feels wrong. It’s not just a distance between them physically. It’s like Jonas wants distance between them mentally as well, and Isak doesn’t like it. He looks down at the empty space between them on the bench, frowns at it and looks over at Jonas.

“I’ve sort of been having feelings for someone, and it’s really complicated.” Jonas doesn’t meet his eye as he says it. Instead his eyes are following a man with a hat walking his dog close by.

Isak feels his heart starting to beat faster, can sense that what comes next is going to be life altering. “Who?” he whispers, unable to speak any louder, afraid that it might break something if he does.

“Isak…”

Jonas’s voice sounds so troubled and he looks so sad, Isak can’t take it. He moves closer to Jonas, but Jonas only pushes away, again. He’s almost at the end of the bench now.

“Don’t move away from me,” Isak says. He hears how desperate he sounds, but he doesn’t like where this is going. “Who?” he repeats, his voice a little firmer now. He needs to know. Although deep down he does know, but he needs to hear Jonas say it, doesn’t think he can wrap his head around this if Jonas doesn’t actually say it.

He watches how Jonas swallows, how his hands, one holding the half-eaten kebab and the other with the plastic fork, are shaking, how his mouth is shut tight, how is eyes are looking at him with so much pain.

“It’s you.”

The words come out barely as a whisper and Jonas’ averts his eyes, doesn’t seem able to look at Isak now that he’s confessed his feelings, like he’s afraid of what Isak might think. And Isak wants to reach out at touch him, wants to do something to make Jonas feel better. His heart is aching, because he wants to give in to his own feelings, wants to give Jonas what he wants. But he can’t.

“I’m with Even,” he says. In one way it’s painful to say it. But he doesn’t have to question it or think about it. His love for Even is strong, and leaving him for someone else is not an option. Isak doesn’t know what he’d do without Even.

“I know,” Jonas says.

“I’m not leaving him.”

“I _know_. I don’t expect you to.”

“I don’t understand. Then why are you telling me this?”

“Isak… I… You really don’t understand?”

“No!” Isak says. He knows he sounds annoyed, even though he doesn’t mean to. But he _doesn’t_ understand, and that Jonas thinks he should makes him confused and frustrated.

“There’ someone else too.”

“What do you mean? Someone else?” Isak looks over at him, tries to grasp what Jonas is talking about, but his mind is blank.

“I also have feelings for someone else.” Jonas puts pressure on the last word, like that’s going to clarify it. It’s just that, it doesn’t.

“You have feelings for me and for someone else?” Isak asks dumbfounded. “At the same time?”

“Yes,” Jonas says quietly.

“And this confuses you, or what?”

“No. I’m not confused, but…”

“But what? Come on Jonas, help me out here. I don’t get what’s going on. Who is it?”

Jonas takes a big breath and, looks down at the ground, his kebab still in hand. Isak thinks that both his and Jonas’ half eaten kebabs are probably gone cold by now. At some point in their conversation they both stopped eating. It’s ridiculous how that is something that comes to mind in a situation like this, when he should be focused on Jonas right now. Then Jonas looks over at him.

“It’s Even”.

“It’s Even,” Isak repeats. “You have feelings for both me and Even.” But it takes several seconds until the words sink in. But when they do, he realises that he isn’t so surprised by Jonas’ words. Deep down he had a suspicion that this might be the case, but he hasn’t been reflecting about it.

“Yes,” Jonas says, “Please, don’t be mad.”

“I’m not… I’m not mad”, Isak manages to get out, before he’s up on his feet. Jonas is looking up at him and Isak thinks he looks scared. Not scared that Isak will do anything to him, like physically, but scared of what Isak is thinking about this.

“I need to go.” Isak can hear his own voice utter the words, but it isn’t a conscious decision. He just feels so overwhelmed, and it’s like an instinct takes over. The only thing that makes sense right then and there is to leave, to create some space between himself and what just happened.

“Isak… Please, don’t leave. Let me explain,” Jonas pleads.

“What’s there to explain?” Isak asks stupidly. “You have feelings both for Even and me. Easy.”

Isak knows he isn’t handling this well, but it’s just too much. He has come to a point where he accepted that he has feelings for Jonas. He might even dipped into the thought that Jonas has feelings for him too, that this wasn’t just a phase or that sleeping with Isak was something Jonas needed to get out of his system.

The thought of Jonas having feelings for Even too is so new and overwhelming, he doesn’t know what to do about it.

He sees the distressed expression on Jonas’ face, knows that he’ll probably hurt Jonas if he leaves now, but he doesn’t know what to say. I wishes he knew how to respond to this, to say the right words to wipe that pained expression of Jonas’ face, but he can’t. So, he turns around and leaves Jonas behind, dumping the rest of the kebab in a nearby trash can.

\---

He walks around aimlessly for hours. There are a million thoughts going through his mind, but he can’t seem to sort them out. How long has Jonas had feelings for him? For Even? Does Even know? What will Even think about this? How will this affect his relationship with Even? Why did Jonas tell him about his feelings? What does he want? How will this affect their friendship? Are they even friends now? Isak doesn’t know the answer to any of these questions. And in an attempt to find the answers he just keeps walking and walking.

At some point, it starts to become dark and the temperature falls.  It’s when a shiver goes through his body from the cold that he realises he’s been walking around for God knows how long. Then he notices how tired he is, how his head is pounding and his entire body is aching. He feels like he can’t walk a single step from how sore his feet are. He can’t recollect much from the last hours. He isn’t sure where he’s been. He doesn’t know where he’s headed.

He checks his phone. The clock on the lock screen tells him that it’s almost nine in the evening. The next he sees it that he has several missed calls, both from Even and Jonas. They have also sent him several text messages. He doesn’t open the ones from Jonas, but he reads the ones from Even.

**From Even** :

**16:38**  
Just got home from work.  
Where are you?  
How did your exam go? :)

**17:22**  
Are you coming home for dinner?  
Let me know!

**19:01**  
Baby, I’m starting to worry.  
Please let me know where  
you are.

**19:42**  
I’ve talked to Jonas.  
Please answer your phone.

**20:53** ****  
Isak, I love you.  
Please come home.

The last message was sent only a few minutes ago. He types out a reply, letting Even know he’s on his way home, before he stuffs his phone back into his pocket. He realises the walk home is almost forty minutes and decides to take the tram, doesn’t think his feet will make the walk.

The tram ride doesn’t do anything to help with the chaos in his head. All he knows is that he is tired and exhausted and at some point he’s going to have to deal with what happened today, but that he doesn’t know how or when.

\---

When he closes the door to his and Even’s apartment behind him, he isn’t capable to do anything else but sink down to the hallway floor. He sits there, with his back against the door and his eyes closed when he hears footsteps and someone sitting down next to him and pulling him into his arms. Even’s scent relaxes him immediately.

“I’ve been worried about you. Please don’t ignore my text or calls like that, Isak.”

Isak knows that Even has every right to be annoyed with him, but he only hears concern in Even’s voice, and right know Isak couldn’t be more grateful that Even isn’t mad. If they were to argue right now, on top of everything, he isn’t sure if he could handle it.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles. His face is pressed against Even’s neck, and he isn’t sure if Even can hear him, so he says it again when Even has pulled up him from the floor and towards the living room couch and pushed him down on it.

“You don’t look good,” Even says and finds a blanket to wrap around him when he notices how Isak is shivering from being cold. He doesn’t say anything, just walks into the kitchen, and Isak can hear how he boils water, and soon enough he’s back with two mugs with tea. Isak isn’t much for tea, only drinks lemon tea occasionally, but right now the heat from the mug between his hands is welcoming. And he can’t wait to feel the warmth spread through his body once he the takes a sip when the fluid has cooled down enough.

They stay quiet for a while. Even doesn’t seem mad. He doesn’t seem too pleased either. Isak can’t really tell what state of mind Even is in, and it’s starting to freak him out. The thought of Even being mad at him, that the mess he’s in might be a deal breaker, sneaks its way into Isak’s mind and rapidly starts to grow until it’s all Isak can think about. When it becomes unbearable, he can’t take it anymore.

“Are you mad at me?” he blurts out. His mind instantly goes still, but a second later he can feel his heart pounding in his chest. He’s scared of Even’s answer.

Even sighs, puts his mug of tea down on the small table in front of them and nudges against Isak’s hand to get him to let go of the mug he’s cradling in his hands.

“Did you do something that justifies me being mad at you?” Even says. His voice is firm, but he isn’t mad from what Isak can tell, which he doesn’t understand. His heart slows down a bit though.

“Yes,” he answers, without thinking about it.

“What?”

Isak opens his mouth to speak, but he isn’t sure what to say, how to answer Even’s question. “I talked to Jonas,” is what he ends up saying.

Even looks at him. “I know.”

“You know?”

“Yes,” Even sighs again. “He came by when you didn’t text him back or answered your phone when he tried calling you. He thought you might have come back here.”

“Oh.”

“He’s really upset, Isak. Like worried about you, how you just took of like that.”

“He told you?” Isak feels his heart beat quicken again, doesn’t dare to look Even in the eyes.

“Yes.”

“What exactly did he say?”

“Isak…”

“What did he say?” Isak inquires stubbornly. He needs to know what Even knows. Doesn’t want to do this dance where he has to guess what Even knows or not. He’s too exhausted for that.

“He told me everything. How you met up today, how you went for kebabs, what he told you, how you left.” Even voice is steady, calm. But Isak thinks he can sense that Even is a little annoyed with him, that he’s judging him a little bit. Isak hasn’t really ever experienced that. Even isn’t one to judge people, especially people he cares about.

“Are you sure you’re not mad?”

“Isak… I’m not _mad_ . But he came out to you. Then he told you he has feelings for you. Then he told you he has feelings for me, which must have been so hard for him by the way. Then you _left_. The guy is a mess. You should’ve seen him when he showed up here. He isn’t even mad at you or anything. He’s concerned that you, that we, are mad at him.”

The guilt hits Isak so hard he becomes nauseous from it. He can’t believe how badly he’s handled this. Jonas is hurting so much right now and it’s all because of him.

“Shit,” he breathes out. “I..., I have to talk to him.”

“Yes, you do, but don’t you think we should maybe talk first?” Even asks tentatively. And Isak knows he’s right. Of course they need to talk first. He doesn’t even know what Even feels about anything of this.

“I’m sorry. I realise I’ve fucked this up,” Isak says as he puts down his mug to hold onto both of Even’s hands. “It’s just that what Jonas told me today was too much. I… I don’t even know what it means that he has feeling for both you _and_ me. That can’t be easy.”

Even doesn’t say anything, just tilts his head and looks at him. Then he shakes his head slightly with a small smile on his face, while looking at Isak. It almost looks fondly.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Isak inquires. Even looks adorable like that, but his reaction is so surprising that Isak can’t quite manage to smile back at him.

Even continues to smile at him, until he lets out a small huff and says: “He’s not the only one who has feelings for more than one person, you know?” Even’s facial expression, how he raises his eyebrows and tilts his head at him, tells Isak that he needs to catch up. It takes Isak a couple of seconds until he does.

“Shit,” he says. “I’m so stupid.” Because that’s what he feels. Stupid for not realizing that he has something in common  with Jonas when it comes to this. Isak loves both Even and Jonas. And Jonas has feelings for both Isak and Even. For a brief second Isak wonders what those feelings encompasses exactly. What does Jonas mean when he says he has feelings?

“You’re actually the smartest person I know, except for Sana maybe,” Even says and chuckles, which earns him an eye roll from Isak, “but your thought process might have been a little bit slow on this one, baby.”

Isak sinks into the couch and buries his face in the palm of his hands, can’t believe he didn’t see this. Then it suddenly hits him. “What did you say when he told you?” he asks, looking up at Even. Even stops smiling, his face turns serious and he swallows. He looks nervous. And it makes Isak nervous.

“Even?”

“He kept apologizing and asking me to not be mad, that he wasn’t trying to break us up.”

“Yes, he told me the same thing. I guess that’s what made me so confused. I don’t know why he told me the stuff he did if he doesn’t want to be with one of us.”

“I don’t think he wants to be with _one_ of us, “ Even says, and that makes Isak take one extra good look at him.

“What do you mean? What did he say?”

“He didn’t say much else than talk about what happened todayvwith the two of you.”

Isak can feel that it’s something Even isn’t saying, and he’s about to ask when Even breaths in, and it sounds almost like a gasp, like he’s about to make a leap.

“He asked me how I feel, about all of this, about him.”

Isak is having trouble keeping up. It’s like he’s missing something. “About him? What did you say?”

“I told him that it didn’t feel right talking to him about it until I’d talked to you about it.”

“And..?”

“I really don’t want to upset you.”

It hits Isak then, that he’s been so preoccupied with sorting out his own feelings, that he hasn’t taken into consideration how Even might be feeling about everything that has been going on. And he feels like a lousy boyfriend. How can he not know what Even is thinking, how he’s feeling? He knows that Even isn’t mad at him for having feelings for Jonas. On the contrary, Even’s been quite understanding and kind. Isak can’t really think of anyone who would react in the same way as Even has when one’s boyfriend confesses having feelings for his childhood friend. But when he thinks about it, he hasn’t _asked_ Even how he feels about it, if he has any concerns about it, because surely he must have concerns? Isak knows he would have had if things were the other way around. Wouldn’t he?

He sit up and turns to Even, grabs both his hands and starts to rub them between his own. It’s something he ususally does when they need to talk to each other about serious matters. It grounds him having something to do, and he knows Even appreciated the attention. He bends down a little to catch Even’s eyes to make sure he’s looking at him.

“Even, you’ve been so patient and understanding with me through all of this. I don’t think I’ve paid enough attention to your feelings and I’m sorry for that. You’ve been a great boyfriend, and I want to be a better boyfriend to you than I’ve been. I want to be more considerate when it comes to your feelings. But to do that, I need to know what you’re feeling. If you’re mad at me or are having trouble with me having feelings for Jonas, I really want to know. Because then I’ll work on it, because I don’t want to lose you.”

“I’m not leaving you, Isak. I love you.”

“I love you too, so much.” Isak smiles relieved at his boyfriend. “But I’m sensing there’s something going on here.”

“Yes…” Even swallows and blinks at him. “I… I’m just going to come out and say it, because I don’t think there’s any other way to do this. I think I have feelings for Jonas too. And I’m so sorry if that upsets you.”

But Isak doesn’t feel upset about it. It’s like something falls into place and he feels warm, like the coldness from being outside that had occupied his body suddenly vanishes.

“You have feelings for him too?” he asks, smiling at Even. His smile grows bigger when he sees the relieved expression on Even’s face and how Even’s face breaks into a smile too. They smile at each other until Isak starts laughing.

“I can’t believe the three of us are having feelings for each other?”

“I know. Who would have thought, right?” Even laughs back at him, before he goes all serious again. “Shit.”

And Isak gets it. This time he knows what Even is thinking. “What do we do know? I guess we should talk to Jonas, right?” he asks.

“Yes, we have to. He deserves that after what he went through today.”

Even words make Isak cringe and he starts to feel bad again. They definitely need to talk to Jonas. But before they do, Isak and Even need to figure out what they are going to say to him.

\---

It’s almost one in the morning when Isak dials Jonas’ number. His hands are slightly shaking as he brings his phone to his ear, but he finds comfort in Even looking encouragingly at him. Jonas answers on the second ring, and judging from his voice he’s awake.

Even and Isak have agreed that they can’t delay talking to Jonas, but also that they don’t want to talk to him over the phone. Isak asks him to come over, which Jonas grees to, even though it’s late. It makes Isak both relieved and nervous at the same time.

Jonas lives 15 minutes away, and while they wait, Even makes them a cup of coffee. Isak is so tired, should have gone to sleep hours ago. But going to bed without talking to Jonas isn’t an option, not when his head’s buzzing like this. Not when his heart doesn’t want to calm down in his chest.

Even though he’s expecting it, he’s startled  when the doorbell goes off. He’s on his feet in under less than a second. When he opens the door, it reveals a Jonas in despair. Isak has never seen him like this, not even when him and Eva broke up. Isak wants to hug him so badly, but doesn’t know if he’s allowed to, and it kills him.

Once inside, Jonas sheds his jacket and shoes, but then he doesn’t make a move, just looks at Isak and eventually at Even, who’s been standing at the end of the hallway ever since Jonas stepped inside. Isak can tell how unsure Jonas is, how he doesn’t know how to act or what to do, and he clears his throat and gestures towards the living room. encouraging Jonas to step inside.

Both Isak and Even sit down on the couch, but when Isak asks Jonas to sit down, Jonas just shakes his head.

“I think I prefer to do this standing up.”

Isak can hear the agony in Jonas’ voice, and he’s about to say something, to tell him that he doesn’t have to be scared about the reason they asked him over, but it’s like Jonas senses that Isak is about to say something, because he hurries to speak before Isak has the chance to.

“I just need to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry I told you I have feelings for you. I’m sorry I told you I have feelings for Even. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just thought… I mean, if I knew that you would be so upset, I would’ve kept it to myself.”

Jonas looks like he’s about to cry, and Isak hates seeing him in so much pain.

“Jonas…You don’t...”

But Jonas cuts him off.

“No, please let me finish. I’m sorry I upset you. I understand if you don’t want to be friends with me anymore.” Jonas voice cracks a little at that. “But I really hope that we can still be friends. It would kill me if I ruin our friendship by being so stupid.”

“Jonas,” Isak tries again, and this time Jonas let’s him speak. “Please come sit down. I’m not mad at you. _We’re_ not mad at you. If anything, you should be mad at _me_. Just come sit down.”

Reluctantly Jonas walks over at takes a spot in the far end of the couch. Their coach isn’t that big, but it’s too far away for Isaks liking. Still, he fights the urge to move closer to Jonas, respects his decision to keep some distance between them. They need to talk things through before moving closer might be an option. He isn’t even sure if Jonas wants to be closer when they are done talking.

“You don’t have to be sorry, Jonas. _I’m_ sorry I reacted so badly when you told me you have feelings for me, and especially when you told me you have feelings for Even. It…, it was just too much for me to process at the time, and I guess I needed some time to think things through.

“I went for a long walk after I left you, which didn’t help much. I should have figured that much, because what’s happened isn’t something I can figure out on my own. It involves both you and Even, and that means I need to talk to you guys about it. I’ve spent tonight talking to Even, and things are a bit clearer to me now. I still need to tell you something though.”

He takes a deep breath and makes sure Jonas is looking at him.

“Jonas, I have feelings for you too. And I’ve had them for quite some time, and Even has helped me realise that.” He turns around to face Even, who’s looks at him softly, before he turns back. “So, please don’t feel bad about telling me you have feelings for me. Because I think that the reason you told me, is because you sensed that our friendship has grown into something else. At least that’s how I feel about it. And even though that scares me a little bit, I think it’s kind of amazing.”

Jonas’s eyes widen at that, but other than that his facial expression stays pretty much neutral, which makes Isak a little bit frustrated. He wants to know what Jonas is thinking.

His attention is directed towards Even when he feels Even’s hand on his shoulder. Then Even speaks.

“And for the record, I’m not upset that Isak has feelings for you. So, if you’re worried about that, don’t be. On the contrary, seeing the two of you together these last few weeks has been so nice.”

Jonas looks a little less anxious now, he’s not far from smiling, but he isn’t there yet. It’s like he doesn’t dare to let himself be happy quite yet. And when Isak thinks about it, he can’t blame him. There’s still something that needs to be addressed.

“So, now you know what I feel about you having feeling for Isak. But you also asked me how I feel about you having feelings for me.”

Isak looks over at Jonas as Even speaks, and  Jonas looks almost like he’s ashamed, and instinctively Isak scoots closer to him, even though he decided against to only minutes ago, wants to assure Jonas that there’s nothing to worry about. Jonas gives him a confused look and shakes his head slightly, signaling to Isak that he doesn’t want him any closer. It breaks Isak’s heart a little bit.

Isak thinks Even notices, because his voice is so soft when he continues.

“The reason I told you that I needed to talk to Isak when you asked me how I felt about you having feelings for me, is because I’ve started to feel something for you too. And I didn’t feel comfortable telling you that before I told Isak. So, obviously Isak knows. And I have to say I was i bit surprised to find out that he wasn’t upset when he found out.”

Isak shakes his head at Jonas to emphasise what Even just said. He smiles at Jonas and hopes it comes off reassuringly.

“Isak and I love each other,” Even says. “We’re staying together...”

“Yes, of course,” Jonas interrupts. “I never meant for you two to break up. That was never my intention.”

“We _know_ that, Jonas.” Isak says. “We’re just telling you so that there won’t be any misunderstandings. If we’re going to figure this out, we...” Isak looks at Even when he says “we”, “...need to be honest with each other about our feelings.”

“Okay,” Jonas says and he says it in a way that makes it seem that he thinks that’s the end of the conversation, like there’s nothing more to discuss, that Even and Isak staying together as a couple is he only only logical outcome, like he was prepared for that.

“Jonas...,” Isak says to get his attention. Jonas looks at him, gives him a tired smile.

“It’s okay, Isak. Really.” Jonas looks so sad, so defeated.

This time it’s Even who wants to close the distance between them, and he does so by shoving Isak in front of him so that they both move closer.

“Jonas… We were wondering how you feel about spending some more time with us, and not just as friends?”

Jonas looks wide eyed at Even after he has spoken. Then he looks at Isak. Then his eyes dart between them in confusion. Isak smiles at him, and he knows Even is smiling too, doesn’t need to turn around to check. Then it’s like something settles with Jonas, and a tentative smile spreads across his face.

“Are you asking me what I think you’re asking?” he says eventually, his eyes so hopeful it makes Isak’s heart clench in his chest. “And how would that work exactly?”

“We’ll have to figure that out as we go, I guess,” Isak says. “But we want to explore what this…” Isak gestures between the three of them as he says it, before he continues. “...is. Because we care about you. And we think that the three of us having feelings for each other is something special and too good to give up on. That means, if you want to.”

“Yes, I want to,” Jonas says eagerly, his smile wide, his eyes shining. He inches closer, but there’s still quite a bit of space between them, like he still isn’t sure what Isak’s words mean exactly.

“Then what are you still doing all the way over there?” Isak says with a smug smile. “Come over here.” He stretches his arms out towards Jonas, who scoots even closer. They’re knees are touching now, but Isak isn’t satisfied. He pulls Jonas into a hug and buries his face against his neck. He feels Jonas’ skin against his face, breathes in his scent. He’s hugged Jonas a thousand times before, and the scent is familiar. At the same time it’s not. This time the scent brings a promise of something new and exciting, and Isak feels his body shiver by it. He can feel Jonas’ arms around his shoulders, how tight he’s being held and he tightens his own arms around Jonas’ waist.

They pull back after a while, but Jonas doesn’t let him get far, holds a firm grip on Isak’s neck and looks at him, like really looks at him, before he runs his fingers through Isak’s hair with his free hand. His eyes dart down to his lips, and it makes Isak lick them without thinking about it. Jonas’ face comes closer, and even though Isak moves his head closer too, Jonas still seems unsure.

“Can I..?” he asks, his eyes darting between Isak’s eyes and his mouth.

Isak doesn’t answer. Just closes the remaining space between them and presses their lips together. Jonas’ lips are soft and feel so good against his own. Isak can’t get over how he’s kissing Jonas, that Jonas wants this to. And it makes him so unbelievably happy.

It’s quiet around them, and Isak hears how Jonas sighs when they pull apart. It takes a couple of seconds before Jonas opens his eyes, but when he does he looks dazed, and Isak smiles at him, thinks he feels the same.

When Jonas looks over at Even, Isak pulls back a bit. He watches how Jonas gestures at Even to come closer, how Even willingly pushes towards Jonas. he watches how their lips meet in front of him in a kiss, how fondly they look at each other when they break apart. It all makes his chest feel warm and the love he feels for them both makes his heart ache. He grabs them both by their upper arms and pull them in for a hug. And that’s how they end up hugging, all three of them on the couch, Isak in the middle, with each of the guys on either side. It takes a bit of shuffling at first, but they make it work.

It’s when he has his arms around each of them, that everything finally seems to settle. All the tension leaves his body, his heart rate slows down and his breathing evens out. And that’s when the exhaustion hits him. It has to be close to two in the morning, and he’s been through an emotional turmoil in the twelve hours it’s been since he finished his exam. He also spent several hours walking around Oslo, and his body is so tired and sore. He can’t help the groan that escapes him. Sadly it makes both guys pull away.

“No..,” he protests. “That was so nice, don’t stop.”

“Isak, you look like shit,” Jonas says.

“What Jonas means to say, is that you look exhausted, baby. You should go to bed. Actually, we should all go to bed. It’s so late, and I have work in the morning.”

“I guess I should go home, then,” Jonas says and starts to get off the couch, but Isak reaches out to touch his arm.

“How about you stay here tonight? It’s late and our bed is big enough.” He looks over at Even, who nods in agreement. “I would really like it if you would sleep next to us tonight.”

And that’s how the three of them end up lying next to each other in Even and Isak’s bed, Jonas in the middle, with his chest pressed against Even’s back and with Isak’s chest pressed against his own back. They somehow find a way to stretch the two duvets across the three of them so that they all stay warm. And as Isak wraps his arm around the other two, he feels the most content he’s ever felt.

\---

The next morning Isak wakes up to voices whispering. The duvet is warm around him. He still feels tired, but he can’t remember the last time he slept this well, considering how stressed out he’s been with his exams and all lately. He just lies there, basks in the warmth and comfort of the bed, enjoys being on this side of not completely awake. He can’t make out what the guys are talking about, but he hears a soft giggle from Even, followed by a small huff and a muffled laugh from Jonas. He can’t help but smile at it, feels his heart flutter.

The guys stop talking when he turns around to face them. Even and Jonas are lying close, under the same duvet, facing each other. Jonas turns towards him, and Even’s head comes up so that he can look at Isak over Jonas’s shoulder. They are both smiling at him.

“Good morning,” he mumbles, his voice a bit rough from sleep.

“Good morning,” the guys say in unison, making them both giggle and Isak giggles with them.

“What’s going on?” he asks, curious to what the guys are up to.

“Not much. I have to get up to go to work, but you guys should stay in bed,” Even says. “Especially you, Isak, you haven’t been sleeping well lately.” Even sounds concerned, and Isak notices how both him and Jonas are looking at him.

“I would’t mind sleeping a bit more,” Isak says as he looks over at Jonas, who looks at him fondly. “I can’t remember the last time I slept in.”

“I don’t have any plans today,” Jonas says. “Except, I was thinking maybe I could cook for you guys tonight? I didn’t get around to doing that yesterday.”

“Sounds good,” Even says and looks over at Isak.

“Yeah, that sounds great actually. The three of us, staying in?”

“It’s a date,” Jonas smiles at him and Isak’s heart flutters even more. _A date._ He does like the sound of that.

“Okay, I’m going to go get ready for work.” Even gets up from bed and heads for the bathroom. Jonas settles under the duvet he shared with Even, facing Isak. They look at each other in silence for a couple of seconds.

“How are you feeling?” Jonas asks.

“I’m fine. Still a bit tired, but not exhausted like last night.”

“Then let’s sleep a bit, okay? Even’s alarm woke me up before. I could do with a little bit more sleep too.”

Isak hums at that and inches a bit closer to Jonas. It feels nice lying in bed with Jonas, together, while feeling warm and tired and happy. It makes him even happier to see the small smile Jonas shares with him as he scoots closer too. Without thinking about it, Isak pushes his hand underneath Jonas’s duvet and finds his hand. He laces their fingers together and squeezes. His feels a small tingle in his stomach when Jonas squeezes back.

They stay silent after that, just lying next to each other. Isak has closed his eyes, hears Jonas’s steady breathing, feels  his eyelids getting heavier. He’s almost fallen asleep when he feels a dip in the bed.

“Just wanted to say goodbye,” he hears Even whisper in his ear, and Isak turns his head to give him a kiss. It’s soft and Even tastes like toothpaste.

“Wish you didn’t have to go,” he mumbles against Even’s lips.

“Me too. Want to stay in bed with you guys. You look so cozy.”

“We’ll be here when you get back,” Jonas says, eyes closed, sounding like he’s about to fall asleep.

“Can’t wait,” Even says as he leans over and nudges Jonas cheek with his nose, which makes Jonas open his eyes in surprise, but his facial expression eases when he realizes what Even wants and stretches his neck to meet Even in a kiss.

Isak isn’t sure if he’ll ever get used to seeing them kiss. It doesn’t make him feel bad though, watching how Jonas and Even’s lips are pressed together, how they both close their eyes the exact moment their lips meet. The sight makes a tidal wave of affection crash through him and he feels completely overwhelmed by it. He lets go of Jonas’s hand and reaches out to touch Even’s cheek, just slightly brushing his thumb along his cheekbone while the rest of his fingers rest behind Even’s ear. Even breaks the kiss with Jonas and turns his head slightly and nuzzles into the palm of Isak’s hand. He leaves a small kiss there before he pulls back.

Isak misses the closeness immediately, wishes so badly that Even could stay. He mouths an ‘I love you’ at him, not able to hold back how he feels, and it earns him another kiss from Even. Isak can tell from the kiss how much Even loves him too, how he wants to communicate it back to him. Isak loves him so much, it’s almost painful.

Even pulls back with a soft, but hesitant “I have to go”, and Isak can tell how he really doesn’t want to leave, but it’s for work, so he has to leave. And even though Isak would rather pull him close again and make him stay, he reluctantly lets him go.

He turns back to Jonas and reaches out to find his hand under the duvet again, lacing them back together. Jonas smiles at him. They simultaneously move closer to each other, their foreheads almost touching now. He hums when Jonas kisses him gently on the corner of his mouth. He can feel from the kiss how Jonas is still smiling, and it makes him smile too.

“This is nice,” Jonas says in a low voice.

“Yeah,” Isak sighs. He feels so content, and tired.

“Sleep?” Jonas asks.

“Sleep.”

They fall asleep like that, close to each other, fingers laced together.

When Isak wakes up almost two hours later, they’re still in the exact same position. His fingers are a bit numb and his hip aches a little from being pressed into the mattress for so long. But when he sees Jonas’s face, how peaceful he looks when he sleeps, he doesn’t want to move, doesn’t want to do anything that might wake Jonas up.

Isak has never watched Jonas in his sleep before. Sure, he has seen him sleep before, like when they’ve crashed at a friend’s place after a party or on one of their trips to Jonas’ parents’ cabin, but never like this. Never this close, never in the same bed being anything other than friends. Because that’s what they are now – something else than just friends, something more. Isak isn’t sure there’s a name for what they are, but it doesn’t matter. Not now, when Jonas is sleeping in front of him, with the duvet pulled up to his face, breathing steadily through slightly parted lips. Some of his long curly hair has fallen into his face, and Isak fights the urge to push it back, afraid it might wake Jonas up if he does.

He’s in a state of slumber when Jonas starts to stir a little later. He squeezes Jonas’ hand when Jonas starts to pull away from him, and it’s like that small gesture makes Jonas aware of where he is and who he’s with, because he stops pulling away. Instead he smiles, squeezes back and opens his eyes. His grey-green eyes look at Isak, and Isak has never noticed before, how the colour of his eyes goes from being lighter in the middle, around the pupil, to slightly darker around the edges of the iris.

They don’t speak. It just happens on instinct, the small tentative kiss, the pressing of their lips together. And now, when their feelings are out in the open, it feels so intimate to share this kiss with Jonas. It’s just the two of them, in bed together, and Isak wants to stay like this forever.

They stay like that for a long time, kissing lazily, dipping their tongues into each others mouths. At some point Jonas flings his duvet aside and crawls underneath Isak’s. They snuggle up close, wrap their arms around each other and  press their t-shirt-covered chests together. They keep kissing, just taking their time with it, exploring each other with their mouths and humming softly at each other. Isak revels in how nice and comfortable it feels. It’s like they have all the time in the world, and in a way they do, because the semester is over and they don’t have to be anywhere else.

They’ve been making out for some time when Jonas’ hand starts to wander down Isak’s back. He finds the hem of Isak’s t-shirt and slips his hand underneath it and starts drawing patterns on the skin on Isak’s back. It leaves his skin tingling.

After a while Jonas move his hand and lets it brush across Isak’s lower belly and up his chest, and Isak can’t hold back anymore. With a soft moan he slips his own hand underneath Jonas’ t-shirt and starts to stroke him slowly all over his upper body. Jonas’s skin feels so soft beneath his fingers and how they’re touching each other is slowly driving him crazy. He can feel how he’s getting hard and starts to think about wanting more, but doesn’t know what Jonas wants. He wants to ask, but for the time being he decides to hold back, afraid it might change the mood. Because right now, what they’re doing feels so good and Isak wants it to last.

So, when Jonas eventually dips his fingers underneath the waistband of Isak’s boxer briefs and tugs at it lightly, silently asking for permission, Isak is more than ready. He nods eagerly against Jonas lips, which are still connected to his own since they haven’t stopped kissing the entire time, and wiggles his lower body to help Jonas getting rid of them. Once they’re discarded, he helps Jonas get rid of his. It’s impossible not to notice how Jonas’ dick’s hard as well, how it lies against his stomach.

It’s a divine feeling when Jonas grabs Isak’s ass to bring them close enough that their dicks start rubbing against each other. He thinks Jonas moans at the sensation of it at the same time Isak does, but Isak isn’t sure. He’s too engrossed in the feeling of their dicks sliding against each other to really notice.

They grind against each other slowly at first, just let their hips roll against each other. The intimacy of it, being this lose to Jonas and feeling his dick against his own, feels so good. It doesn’t take long until Isak slides his hand down from Jonas’ back to grab onto his ass as well and starts rolling his hips against Jonas with more intent. Their kisses grow more urgent after that, and Isak is so turned on it’s almost ridiculous.

He’s so preoccupied by grinding against Jonas that he stops kissing him. Their faces are pressed together and they are breathing into each other’s mouths, but all his energy goes into rolling his hips and making his dick rub against Jonas’. But it just isn’t enough, he needs more friction.

“Can I touch you?” he asks against Jonas’ mouth and grinds against him decisively, which makes Jonas moan against him, before he nods and kisses Isak.

Ant that’s all Isak needs. He pushes his hand in between them and as he wraps his hand around Jonas’ dick the tip brushes against Isak’s stomach, and Isak can feel how precome pushes out of Jonas’ dick and leaves his skin wet from it. That turns him on even further, knowing that Jonas too is so affected by what they’re doing. He starts to stroke him slowly, wants to make it last. He can feel how Jonas shivers against him, and Isak kisses him reassuringly.

“You feel so good, Jonas. I can’t believe I’m here with you.”

“Isak…”

Isak pulls away a little when Jonas doesn’t say anything else, needs to see his face to know that Jonas is okay. And what he sees leaves him an awe. Jonas is looking back at him, his pupils blown and mouth slack. He’s breathing heavily. Isak doesn’t stop stroking, just continues in a steady rhythm and watches how Jonas’ face twists in pleasure.

“God, you look so good like this. I can’t wait to see you come.”

Jonas moans at that and starts to thrust his hips, like he’s eager to get off. But Isak resists the impuls to speed thing up, just continues stroking him in the same, steady pace as before. He can’t help the small smile that tugs at his lips when Jonas lets out a frustrated groan and leans in to kiss him. His breath catches in this throat when he feels Jonas hand wrap around his own dick. Jonas starts to jerk him off in a slightly more rapid speed than he’s doing to Jonas, and he looks so smug about it, Isak can’t help but laugh a little. Jonas laughs back, and Isak can’t believe how great it makes him feel, can’t believe how easy and _good_  it is lying here with Jonas.

Jonas continues to pump his dick in a quicker pace, and Isak knows it isn’t going to take him long to come if Jonas continues like that. He manages to fight the urge to to speed up his own movements, but as he feels himself getting closer, he starts to think about how he wants Jonas to come too, how he wants them to come together, and he starts to stroke faster, using the wetness on the tip of Jonas’ dick to make the slide of his hand along Jonas’ dick easier.

Isak can feel how wet his own dick is, and on an impulse he presses closer to Jonas. He lets go of Jonas’ dick to remove Jonas’ hand from his own dick, and then he wraps them both up in his own hand. He rubs the head of their dicks together, mixing the wetness together and starts to jerk them both of. The feeling of Jonas’ dick against his own is so good and it pushes a bead of precome out of him, and he uses his finger to catch it and rub at Jonas’ tip. Jonas moans at that, and that spurs Isak on, makes him increase the pace of his strokes. He feels a tingling sensation in his balls, and he knows he’s getting closer. And from how Jonas seems to be unable to keep his hips still he figures Jonas is getting closer too.

He continues what he doing, strokes and strokes, while he alternates between looking at Jonas and kissing him. Jonas looks so good like this, cheeks flushed and pleasure written all over his face. Isak can’t wait to watch his face as he comes. The thought alone brings him closer to the edge.

“Jonas,” he manages to get out. “I’m getting close.”

Jonas moans at that and presses his mouth against Isak’s ear and stutters:  “It feels so good. Just keep going.” The words make Isak shiver and he starts to stroke even faster, eager to get off now. He lets himself moan from the sensation of it, wants Jonas to know how good he feels, and Jonas responds by cradling his face and kissing him. Then he once again moves to speak into Isak’s ear.

“I’m almost there.”

If it’s the hot air against Isak’s skin or the knowledge that Jonas is going to come from what Isak is doing to him that brings Isak over the edge, Isak doesn’t know. It’s probably the combination. Either way he’s unable to hold back his release as it crashes over him. He starts shooting between them and feels how he shoots come all they way up to his chest. Some of if coats his fingers, and he uses it to make the glide along their dicks even smoother. Once he’s finished coming he lets go of them both, scoops up a little come from his stomach and rubs it over the tip of Jonas’ dick. That’s all it takes for Jonas to let out a groan and start to come too. Isak strokes him through it while he watches how Jonas’s face go slack and how he closes his face as he orgasms. It’s beautiful.

When they are done, lying next to each other spent and satisfied, Jonas looks over at him. “I can’t believe I’m here with you, like this. I honestly didn’t think that this was a possibility for us.”

Isak kisses him and smiles before he responds.

“I didn’t even think about this as being an option until yesterday, until Even told me he has feelings for you too and suggested we see if the three of us can work out together.”

“I hope we do,” Jonas says.

“Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm [himmelskys](https://himmelskys.tumblr.com/) on tumblr if you want to come say hello :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even finds out what happened between Jonas and Isak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm sorry for updating so late. Some of you have checked in on me on tumblr and asked about my progress. Thank you for that! Knowing you guys are excited enough about this fic to ask me when I'm updating next, gives me motivation to write as fast as possible. I'm really busy these days, but wiriting as fast as I can :)
> 
> This is Even POV.

As Even enters the apartment, two hours later than usual due to this new, really fun project he got caught up working with, he can hear clattering noises mixed with the sound of the guys talking. After kicking off his shoes and entering the kitchen, he sees exactly what he expects to see: Isak sitting on the counter and Jonas in front of the stove. Jonas is frying a mixture of vegetables and meat in a big frying pan and there’s a bowl with some kind of dough on the counter. It smells delicious, and Even’s stomach growls.

Both Isak and Jonas light up as they see him, and Even automatically smiles back at them. He walks over to Jonas first  and inspects what’s going on in the frying pan. Jonas steps aside a little to make some room for him, but Even just grabs onto his waist and pulls him close enough to kiss him. He sees how Jonas smiles at that and kisses him again. It feels so easy to do that, and Even takes a moment to look at Jonas, how he straightens his back and looks back at him, how he grins and seems happy. Even feels a combination of excitement and fondness towards Jonas, feels how his own grin spreads across his face. He tightens his grip on Jonas, enjoys how it feels to have his body pressed against his own. 

“This smells really good. What is it?” he asks as he turns to the stove again.

“Empanadas,” Jonas says in perfect Spanish, looking proud.

“Empanadas?” Even asks. “I thought that was a Mexican dish?”

“No,” Jonas replies. “It’s a popular dish in South-America, originally brought over by the colonists. Each country has their own way of making them. This is the Colombian version.”

“Well, I can’t wait to try them,” Even says and kisses Jonas’ cheek before he walks over to Isak. Isak has that familiar anticipation in his eyes as Even approaches him and leans in for a kiss, like he can’t wait for Even to greet him with a kiss like he always does when he comes home. It amazes Even how kissing Isak still feels so good, how his skin still tingles from kissing him, at the same time as he feels so safe with Isak, so at home with him.

They watch how Jonas finishes cooking, Isak still sitting on the counter, his arms wrapped around Even, who’s standing between Isak’s legs, his back leaning against him. The table is already set, so there isn’t much for them to do other than watch Jonas. It’s so nice standing like that, talking with the guys, watching how Jonas walks around the kitchen, how he occasionally looks over at him and Isak and smiles, how happy he looks. Even feels so at ease and happy.

They sit down at the kitchen table to eat. The food is delicious, and Even makes sure to compliment Jonas for it. Even is used to being the one cooking, not because Isak doesn’t know how to, but because Even enjoys it, while Isak thinks cooking is more of a necessity. Getting to come to dinner being ready, and seeing how relaxed Isak looks and how happy Jonas is, makes him feel good.  If this is how it’s going to be having Jonas around, Even thinks it might be something he wants long term.

The conversation during dinner is easygoing and relaxed. The guys haven’t been up to much, just walked over to Jonas’ place so that he could take a shower and change his clothes. Then they went to a park nearby to relax in the sun, before they came back to the apartment to start on dinner.

They talk about their summer plans, and Even gets up to speed on Jonas’ plans for the summer and his summer job. When Jonas and Isak tell him about maybe travelling together next summer, Even is immediately on board. Even isn’t surprised to learn that Jonas wants go go backpacking in South-America. He reckons the three of them would have a great time together, and he listens as the guys talk about how they have to work some extra shifts the to save money for it. That’s one of the advantages about having a job, he thinks, that he has the money for it. He just has to be good at putting aside a little every month, which he normally isn’t. After rent and regular expenses are paid for, he usually spends the rest of his salary on fun stuff, like movies or art supplies or taking Isak out on dates. 

Luckily Isak’s really good with money, so he’ll probably help him. The thought hasn’t even crossed his mind when Isak suggests they open a savings account to set aside money for traveling. Even just smiles at that and leans over and kisses him. Isak just cocks his eyebrow and tells him that if Even’s going to be able to set aside money, he they need to open an account especially for that. Even knows Isak is right, so he nods and feigs being upset about it, which makes Jonas laugh. Isak just shrugs and continues to eat.

They talk some more about places they want to see. Jonas really wants to see Machu Picchu, and Isak wants to travel across both Peru and Chile. Even doesn’t know if there’s something in particular he wants to see. Just seeing new places, meeting new people, eating different kinds of food is enough to make him happy. And if he gets to do that with the other two, he thinks that’s probably going to make a great vacation.

When they’re finished eating, Isak offers to clear the table and do the dishes, since Jonas did the cooking and Even needs to relax after working late. Even can tell that Isak is a little worried about him working late, but that he doesn’t say anything about it because he knows how Even finds it exhausting when the people around him tell him he needs to take it easy. Right now he’s having so much fun at work he gets a little carried away. Still, he knows that he needs to be careful, that he shouldn’t work this much considering he was feeling down only a few days ago. He’s grateful Isak doesn’t say anything, only sends him off to relax in the living room with Jonas. Even  smiles at Isak and squeezes his upper arm as he passes by him, wants Isak to know that he appreciates it. It earns him a smile and a kiss on the cheek in return.

In the living room him and Jonas settle onto the couch to watch some TV. Even hesitates for a second, still a bit unsure about how they’re supposed to go around things, but when he sees how Jonas is scooching closer and looking at him expectantly, he pulls Jonas into his side and wraps an arm around him. Jonas instantly melts into Even’s side, making him sigh and relax against the cushions.

Jonas insists on watching the news, and Even tries to protest, but in only earns him a two minute long lecture from Jonas on how important it is to stay educated and pay attention to what’s going on in the world. Even stays quiet through it, just looks at Jonas fondly and tries to suppress the smile that threatens to spread across his face. He knows he’s doing a bad job at it, because Jonas huffs at him and tells Even he should be more serious about stuff like that. Even can tell that Jonas isn’t annoyed though, can see it in the way Jonas looks at him, in how he too is suppressing a smile.

So Even just lets Jonas finish his rant, kisses him on the side of his head and finds a channel that sends news around the clock. They sit like that for a while, Jonas snuggled against Even, and watch the news. Even can feel himself relax, just giving small hums or short responses when Jonas comments on the different news headlines. He reckons he could easily fall asleep like this.

Eventually Isak comes from the kitchen with a cup of coffee for Jonas and a cup of tea for Even. He returns to the kitchen to get his own cup of coffee, but doesn’t return when his phone rings. Even can hear how Isak’s answers and he briefly wonders who’s calling, but gets distracted when he feels Jonas press his body closer to Even and grab Even’s hand to pull it into his lap. Jonas alternates between gently rubbing the palm and stroking the backside of the hand, and Even closes his eyes from how nice it feels. It’s a small gesture, but it makes Even’s insides feel warm, and he sinks further into the cushions. He usually doesn’t feel this relaxed, this content, unless he’s with Isak.

He opens his eyes when he feels Jonas shift beside him again. Jonas turns to him, puts a hand on his cheeks and leans over to kiss him. It’s a soft, almost tentative kiss, like he isn’t sure he’s allowed to kiss Even, and Even thinks he likes this side of Jonas too, the sweet and a bit insecure side, in contrast to how Jonas usually comes off, confident and chill about everything. Too preoccupied with his thoughts, Even forgets to reciprocate the kiss, and Jonas stops kissing him and pulls back. He doesn’t look at Even, just settles back in his previous position next to him, although not as close as before. Jonas looks thoughtful, maybe even regretful, which Even thinks there really isn’t any reason to. 

“Hey,” Even says softly as he looks at Jonas, “that was nice.”

“Yeah?” Jonas asks and looks at Even expectantly, almost hopeful, and Even feels sorry that he’s made Jonas feel insecure. He pushes up from the couch and breathes a “yeah” against Jonas’ lips before he kisses him. He puts intent behind it, wants to make Jonas sure that Even really wants this, and by the way Jonas is kissing him back he thinks Jonas understands. Especially if by how the kiss quickly becomes heated is anything to go by. Even loses himself in it, by how Jonas’ lips feel against his own, how his tongue seeks access between his lips. Even opens up and their tongues swirl around each other slowly.

Even can feel himself getting turned on. He sits up a bit when Jonas moves to straddle him, briefly fascinated by how quick Jonas just went from a bit insecure to feeling certain enough about them to switch positions and position himself like that. He has to smile at the thought, and his smile grows even bigger when he notices how Jonas smiles back.

Jonas goes back to kissing him, his hands on Even’s cheeks, and Even’s can feel how he’s starting to get hard in his pants from how Jonas is taking control of the kiss. Their lips slide against each other deliciously, and it’s all Even can take in right now. Everything goes silent. Everything except from the sounds of them kissing and the sound of Jonas breathing heavily against his lips. It’s like the rest of the world is gone, like the unit that is him and Jonas is all that exists.

That is until Jonas grinds down on him and Even can feel how hard Jonas is, even through his jeans. And even though that feels so good, it also feels wrong somehow, and that brings him back to reality. Suddenly he can hear the sounds coming from the tv and Isak talking on the phone in the kitchen, and he’s very aware of the fact that Jonas is in his lap.

“Stop,” he says in a low voice as he gently pushes Jonas away. “Just slow down a bit.”

“Ok, sure,” Jonas says, then hesitates before he asks: “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s just… I don’t think we should be doing that, you know, when Isak isn’t with us.”

“But...”

Jonas looks confused and almost remorseful, and that’s something Even doesn’t understand and it makes  _ him _ confused.

“But what?” he asks. He tries to catch Jonas’ eyes, but Jonas is looking away. “Jonas?”

“Nothing,” Jonas says, but Even doesn’t buy it. Even worse, he’s getting a bad feeling about what’s going on, but he can’t put a finger on why exactly.

“Did I make you do something you didn’t want to do?” he asks Jonas. It’s the only thing he can think of, even though it doesn’t make any sense to him. It was Jonas who initiated the kiss, who moved to straddled him, who ground down on him,

“No! That’s not it at all,” Jonas exclaims, finally looking at Even.

“Then what? Tell me, I don’t get it,” Even insists.

Jonas looks at him for a couple of seconds, like he’s thinking hard about what to say next.

“Do you really mean that? That we shouldn’t do anything when Isak isn’t here?” Jonas finally says.

“Yes,” Even says immediately, doesn’t even have to think about it. The thought of doing anything sexual with Jonas without Isak present, even if he’s only in the next room, has never occurred to him before. “Why do you ask that? Do you think differently?”

“I guess we didn’t think about it,” Jonas mumbles and looks away again.

It takes a couple of seconds before the words sink in, and then it’s almost like a punch to the gut. Isak and Jonas doing  _ something _ , without him.

“What did you do?” he ask in a low voice, afraid of Jonas’ answer.

“Even..?”

Even looks up and sees Isak standing in the middle of the living room floor, his phone in hand, an anxious expression on his face. Even doesn’t know for how long he has been standing there, didn’t register Isak ending the phone call, but by the look on his face Even reckons that he’s heard enough to know what’s going on.

Even looks at Isak, looks back at Jonas, then back at Isak again. He swallows, isn’t sure what to say. He feels so confused. First of all he doesn’t know what happened between the guys, doesn’t know if he wants to know. And if something did happen, maybe it’s not that strange? They did all sleep in the same bed last night, after agreeing that they wanted to spend time together and after kissing each other. But still, the thought of the two of them doing anything sexual together, Isak doing something sexual with someone else, without him, makes him uncomfortable. They haven’t talked about that, if they can to stuff like that when one of them isn’t there.

“Even?” Isak says again as he takes a step closer. His face has gone white and his hands are shaking a little. Jonas is looking at Isak now, and he doesn’t look too good either. Even’s stomach feels like it’s one big knot, and all he manages to get out is a incoherent “uh”, too many thoughts swirling around in his head.

He gets up from the couch, grabs the tea cup, which still has a little bit of tea in it, and walks towards the kitchen.

“Even,” Isak begs as he passes him, “please don’t leave.”

“I’m just going to get a another cup of tea,” Even mumbles in response, even though the last thing he wants right now is another cup of tea, isn’t sure his stomach can keep it’s content down. He needs a moment to think, needs to extract himself from the situation a bit.

When he gets to the kitchen, he doesn’t know what to do, just leans against the counter, the cup still in his hand. It doesn’t take long until he can hear footsteps behind him. He knows it’s Isak.

“Even, I’m sorry.”

“Did you guys fuck?” He doesn’t turn around to look at Isak when he says it. The words come out sounding harsher then he intended, but he can’t control it.

“No!”

“Blowjobs then?”

“No. Even, please...”

“What? You don’t think I’m entitled to know?” Even says angrily as he turns around to face Isak. “My boyfriend hooks up with his best friend, but tries to keep it a secret. Do you know how that makes me feel?” He’s both angry and hurt, can’t help from spit the last words out.

Isak stares at him, doesn’t say a word. Even can’t really tell what he’s thinking, and that makes him uneasy. He usually knows what Isak is thinking. Then isak takes a deep breath and takes a step closer. Even automatically takes a step sideways, wants to keep the distance between them, but Isak slowly keeps walking towards him, until Even’s backed against the opposite counter. Isak walks until he’s right in front of Even, just close enough to put his hands on Even’s upper arms.

“Even, I’m really sorry. It just happened without us thinking. I should have thought about how you might not be comfortable with it. I really didn’t mean to hurt you.” Isak’s voice is firm, steady. It calms Even down a bit, but he can still feels his heart pounding inside his chest with how upset he is.

“What happened?” he asks, still can’t let go of that, needs to know exactly what happened.

Isak twists a little, clearly uncomfortable. “After you left we fell asleep again. When we woke up, we started kissing, and… and it was nice, and one thing led to another, and we jerked each other off.”

Even is almost impressed with how calmly Isak tells him, even though it’s clear to him that Isak feels terrible telling him about it. Even can’t stop the next words that come out of his mouth.

“Did you like it?”

“Even…” Isak sighs, before he meets his eyes. “I get that you’re upset, and you have every right to be. But you sound like I randomly cheated on you, which isn’t the case.”

And Even knows that Isak is right about that, but still it doesn’t settle well with him, what happened between Isak and Jonas.

“You did that without me there. I never agreed to that.”

“I know,” Isak says softly as he reaches up to put his hand in Even’s hair. Even lets him. “But we didn’t say we couldn’t do that either. We didn’t talk about it, and that was a mistake. We should have set the boundaries beforehand.”

They both turn around at Jonas’ voice. “Uh.., I think maybe I should leave?” Jonas is standing in the kitchen doorway. He looks so unsure and sad, Even almost feels bad for him.

Neither Isak nor Even say anything. Even doesn’t know what to say. He’s still feeling conflicted. 

“I don’t think it would be right if we make him leave,” Isak says looking at Jonas, but his words are directed at Even. “We just agreed last night that we wanted to see where this might go. We should talk about it together, all three of us.”

And Even knows Isak is right. Making Jonas leave now won’t solve this. Even though Even finds what happened hard to deal with, Jonas is a part of this too and he should get a say in it. He swallows and nods.

“Are you sure?” Jonas asks, his voice small and eyes roaming Even’s face, like he’s afraid Even isn’t being truthful.

Even clears his throat. “Yes.”  And that makes Jonas take a tentative step into the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, Even,” Jonas says. He sounds so sincere, Even doesn’t doubt it for a second that he means it. “Did… did Isak tell you what happened?”

Even only nods at that.

“We really didn’t think before it happened, which we should have. And we should have taken into consideration that it might not have been okay with you.” Jonas looks so regretful as he speaks, Even feels the need to interrupt him, doesn’t want to see Jonas like this, even though it’s Even who’s been hurt. But Jonas only shakes his head and continues to talk. “I meant what I said yesterday. I don’t want to come between you guys. I totally understand if what happened makes you want to end this.”

Jonas looks at Even, and Even knows he’s being sincere. Jonas isn’t the kind of guy to play games when it comes to matters like this. Jonas doesn't deliberately fuck around with people's feelings. “But it’s important to me to say that it sort of just happened, even though it shouldn’t have.” Jonas continues. “I care about both of you. But maybe we can’t make this work, and I’m prepared for that I’m the one who has to walk away if it doesn’t.”

That somehow doesn’t settle well with Even. Logically, he knows that Isak and him were a couple before this thing with Jonas happened, and he can’t see himself being without Isak. But he doesn’t like the idea of Jonas feeling second-rated. What they're doing… It’s still new, but it isn’t fair on Jonas that what's going on between them has him feeling like that.

Even looks over at Isak, and Isak is looking concerned at Jonas.

“Jonas…” Isak says. “Please, don’t say that.”

“Well, it’s true, isn’t it? I’m the intruder. If this doesn’t work out, I’m the one who has to walk away. I know that. I’m not stupid. I took a risk telling you guys how I feel, and I don't regret that. I do regret what happened this morning though.”

Jonas pushes Isak’s shoulder when Isak scoffs at that. “You know what I mean.”

Even watches how Isak and Jonas exchange looks. Even has been able to tell that there's something special between them for a long time now, but from what he can tell, they seem to have gotten closer just during the hours Even’s was at work today. They're looking at each other with so much fondness and love, like there's something between them only the two of them share. And Even wishes he could be okay with that, but he feels so left out, and for the first time he’s starting to think that losing Isak is a possible outcome from this, and the thought fucking  _ breaks _ him.

He can’t help the pained sound that leaves him, causing the heads of both of the guys to snap towards him.

“Even?” Isak sounds concerned and steps closer.

Even brings his hands to his face and mumbles a “fuck” against the palms as he rubs his face. He can feel Isak's hands clutching his waist and desperately thinks he never wants Isak to let go. It's a selfish thought, he knows it.

“I’m losing you,” he says, embarrassed by how pathetic he sounds.

“What? No! Don't say that.”

Isak is trying to remove Even’s hands from his face, but Even can’t look at Isak now, just buries his face in Isak's neck and wraps his arms around Isak and squeezes tight, feels how Isak mirrors him and squeezes him tight too.

They stay like that for a while. Even holding on to Isak like his life depends on it. And it’s like Isak knows that Even needs this, needs to be held, needs to know that Isak is still here.

“I’ve got you. I’m never letting you go. Fuck, Even. I could never let you go. I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean too. I love you so much. I need you. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

And the despair coating Isak's words make Even understand that not only does Isak know that Even needs him, but Isak needs Even too, just as badly. And that settles something inside him and he straightens up a bit, just enough to kiss Isak. He can feel his own lips shivering a little against Isak's, but Isak just cups his face with his hands and presses their lips firmly together. It grounds Even and makes the last remnants of his doubts vanish.

When they eventually pull apart, they look at each other, and all Even sees in Isak's eyes is the love he has for Even, and Even drowns in it. This is his Isak.

It’s not until he he hears the sound of shuffling feet that he looks over at Jonas.

“I’m sorry,” Jonas says meeting Even's eyes, “but I don't… I think I should go.”

Instictly Even reaches out and grabs Jonas’ hand, effectively stopping him from leaving. He closes his eyes, takes a moment to process his own feelings.

He doesn't want Jonas to leave. It’s something there. It isn’t as strong as his feelings for Isak, but there's a small fire inside of him that, and he thinks that if he lets himself explore it, give nourish to it, if they do this right, it has the potential of becoming something big and beautiful. He knows it. And Even finds himself wanting that.

So, he tugs at Jonas’ hand, as he looks at him and says: “Stay. If you want to. Don’t leave because you think we don't want you here. Because we do. I just… I got insecure, but my feelings haven’t changed. I still want to see what this thing between us is.”

Jonas looks between them, bites his bottom lip. Isak nods at him reassuringly.

“It’s just… I mean. You guys love each other. I…, I guess I can't compete with that,” Jonas says resigned.

Even sees the frown on Isak’s face, how Isak takes a step towards Jonas, but stops in his tracks and looks at Even, like he’s silently asking for permission. And it isn’t a permission that’s Even's to give, but Even can’t help but feel grateful that Isak checks in with him like that. It’s another testament to how strongly Isak feels about Even, how he doesn’t want to hurt his feelings. Still, they’re going to have to talk about what’s okay and not. It’s not healthy if Isak has to check in with Even every time he wants to be close to Jonas. But for now he settles with giving a nod.

Isak smiles at him gratefully and moves closer to Jonas.

“It’s not a competition, Jonas,” Isak says softly as he reaches out and grabs Jonas’ hand. “We care about you and want you here.”

Jonas looks at Isak, and  Even can tell that Jonas doesn't quite believe what Isak is saying.

“We do,” Even says and steps closer too, watches how the disbelief in Jonas’ face is slowly replaced with hope. It makes Even smile at him, and Jonas smiles back. It's a small smile, but it's there.

“So, will you stay?” Isak asks, and Jonas nods at that.

“But only if we agree on some ground rules,” Jonas says.

“Yeah, that's probably a good idea,” Even says and grins, which causes Jonas’ smile to grow bigger, and Even feels happy they seem to be on the same page now, that Jonas doesn't want to leave.

“We have to be honest about what we’re thinking and how we’re feeling about what’s going on. And we have to tell each other if something important happens, whether it’s sexual or not,” Isaks says.

“Yes,” Jonas and Even say simultaneously, but Even adds: “But I don’t think we should have sex when one of us isn’t present,” which both Even and Jonas instantly agree to.

“And by sex you mean..?” Isak’s says.

“Nothing below the waist?” Even asks tentatively.

Both Jonas and Isak nods. 

“What about kissing?” Jonas asks and looks at Even. Even notices how Isak is looking at him too.

“I’m not sure,” Even says. “Would you be comfortable with Jonas and me kissing if you weren't there?” he asks Isak.

Isak thinks about it. Even can tell from the wrinkle on his forehead that he really thinks it through. “Yes,” he finally says. “But if you aren’t comfortable with me and Jonas kissing when you’re not around, I think there shouldn't be any kissing when all three of us aren’t present.”

“Does that mean that the two of you don’t get to kiss when I’m not there?” Jonas asks grinning, but Even detects a little bit of wonder in his voice.

Even and Isak look at each other. Even really didn’t see that one coming. The thought of not getting to kiss Isak when they’re alone is ridiculous. At the same time, if they're really serious about the three of them figuring out if they can work together, the rules have to be the same for all of them, doesn't it? Even thinks it's important that they're equals in this. If not, it's never going to work.

But not being able to kiss Isak at all times can’t be the reason to agree to Isak and Jonas getting to kiss each other when Even’s not there. And since Even still has a couple of weeks until his summer break starts, Isak and Jonas probably will be spending a lot of time together. They’ll really have a lot of opportunities to kiss. What it really comes down to, is if Even is  _ comfortable  _ with the two of them kissing when he’s not around.

Isak and Jonas doesn't say anything, just waits for him to make up his mind. He thinks about it. Like really thinks about it. The thought of Isak kissing Jonas when he's not there is a bit strange, but it doesn't make Even uncomfortable per se. And if they're serious about finding out how they feel and if they can work it out, they probably should be able to be intimate to some degree. But what settles it in the end, is that he trusts that Isak and Jonas will follow the rules they eventually agree on, just as much as Even intends to follow them.

“I think we should all be able to kiss each other,” he says. “But no sex, for any of us…” he emphasizes the four last words as he looks at Isak. “...unless we’re all together. At least for now. We can change the rules later, if we want to and when we’ve figured out how this is going to work.”

Isak looks surprised at first, like he hadn't considered that the no sex-rule would apply for him and Even as well. But then Isak says “Okay”.

“Seriously?” Jonas asks, baffled.

“Yes,” Isak says. “I meant it when I said this isn’t a competition. Even and I have been together for almost six years now, but I think we should try to make this as equal for all of us as possible. Right?” Isak looks over at Even.

“Yes,” Even says. “Therefore I guess it’s only fair that you get to have a say in this too. So, Isak and me kissing, when you’re not present, yes or no? And don’t just say yes because you don’t feel comfortable with telling us you don’t want us kissing. Like, really think about it.”

Jonas looks between them, like he has to make sure they're serious. And Even has to admit to himself he doesn't know if he can handle it if Jonas says no. The thought of not being able to kiss Isak when he wants to is unbearable, and it strikes him that maybe he doesn't know what he’s getting himself into. He’s about to start panicking when Jonas smiles at them.

“I’m fine with you guys kissing. Thank you for asking my opinion.”

“Of course,” Even says relieved and smiles at Jonas who looks at him knowingly, like he understands how worried Even was about Jonas’ answer.

“And thank God!” Isaks exclaims, making both Even and Jonas laugh. Isak starts laughing too, and then the three of them are standing in the middle of the kitchen laughing together.

And Even feels happy. Happy he gets to be here, with both Isak and Jonas. Happy they managed to talk things through, together. Happy they agreed on a set of rules they're all comfortable with. They still have things to figure out, but he feels hopeful that they will be able to do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of you are (im)patiently waiting for more smut... I just felt like it was important to adress what happened between Joans and Isak when they hadn't talked about boundaries yet. With that bein said, there will be more smut, and soon... So hang tight.
> 
> I'm [himmelskys](https://himmelskys.tumblr.com/) on tumblr if you want to come say hello :)


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